Resonance Phenomena

more days than I can possibly count....

2011-12-25T07:43:00.000-08:00

Losing one's way doesn't always happen physically. It can happen mentally, emotionally. Sometimes, it takes a serious re-walking of the past in order for one to begin stepping forward into the future. Some things have to be re-lived in order to be put aside. The past eight months have certainly been that, in a lot of ways. Everything culminating to a single point in time, a specific experience that somehow sets you free, cuts the strings entirely.

I have not touched the Bible in probably six months out of the last eight. It's sitting right by me, don't get me wrong. I know it's there. I see it every single day, even the days when I most want to ignore it. I have not opened it. I've thought about it increasingly the past week. No, it has nothing to do with the "season", trust me. I could go on and on regarding this holiday season, this "holy season" but I won't. Suffice it to say that I don't hold with it having anything to do with Christian beliefs at all. People can adopt and change anything they want to reflect their version of truth, we all do it. For me, Christmas has nothing to do with Christ, or his message. No, for me, this re-opening of the pages has more to do with the turning of the year.

A few days ago was the solstice, the official turning of the year. It's as if the world held it's breath, waiting for that one specific moment, and then with the exhale we began to spring anew. Sounds incredibly pagan, doesn't it? There are certain elemental truths that we cannot escape, no matter what pretty trappings we try to throw over it to cover and hide the underlying issues or matters. The fact of the matter is that for me, I find God most relevant when I see Him in the trees surrounding me, in feeling the snow falling down onto my upturned face, in hearing His voice in the sounds of the ravens. Does that make me pagan? I don't think so. It certainly doesn't make me the standard Christian fare, however, and I understand and accept that distinction. I truly do. Do I still believe that He is working in my life? Absolutely. It's undeniable. Do I still believe that His Word can be found in the trapping of humanity. Yep, I sure do. I'm just not willing to put God in a box. He She It Whatever.... doesn't matter the label you put on God, and it doesn't matter how you decide to worship, follow, believe.

What really matters most of all is what you Hear, what you Do, what you See.

And that being said..... it's time to crack that binding again and see what He has to say to me today.

Excerpt from Renee Swope's book "7 Day Doubt Diet"

2011-07-19T12:25:00.000-07:00

So powerful. God has been reaching out to me, addressing these issues for the past two weeks straight. It's hard to accept sometimes how much He truly cares, how much He loves each and every one of us, how much He wants to see change in ME. It's uncomfortable being under that much scrutiny, incredibly uncomfortable. It's far easier hiding..... However, by hiding our darkest selves, we also allow it to foment, and do nothing more than give the devil more than his due. After all, everything the devil does, he does with God's permission. Think about that. It all comes down to free will....and believing that we are worth it. Ultimately worth it.

Satan wants us to focus on our flaws and feelings of inadequacy, then exhaust our energy figuring out how to hide them. But we don’t have to go along with his schemes. Instead we can recognize his lies, refute his temptations with truth, and focus on God’s acceptance, security, and significance. Then we can thank God for His provision and His promises that remind us of who we are in Him.

I am accepted . . .
Ephesians 1:3–8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
Colossians 1:13–14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
Colossians 2:9–10 I am complete in Christ.

I am secure . . .
Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
Romans 8:31–39 I am free from condemnation. I cannot be separated from God’s love.
Philippians 1:6 I am confident God will complete the good work He started in me.

I am significant . . .
Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Lord, thank You that I’m chosen, holy, and dearly loved. When I’m tempted to find my significance and security apart from Your provision and promises, help me recognize Satan’s lies, refuse his temptations and stand firm in my faith. Remind me that such confidence as this is mine through Christ—not that I am competent in myself to claim anything for myself, but competence comes from Him. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. (See Colossians 3:12; 1 Peter 5:9; 2 Corinthians 3:4–5)

Doubt Diet Tip: When you’re tempted to use the measuring stick of comparison—be sure to measure UP by focusing upward on Christ, remembering who you are in HIM! “The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior (and beliefs) will begin to reflect your true identity!”

God, and Alaska.... some thoughts.

2011-05-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

“For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.” (Psalm 139:13-14)

So I was doing some poking around online, and came across one of my friend Michelle's posts. I was thrilled to read it. THRILLED. And I realized that I haven't posted anything here since I left the lower 48.

I've been in this weird up/down state since the plane touched the tarmac. First thing, I got lost in the airport. Really. I did. Everything looked the same, sort of. But then when I got down to where I just knew the baggage claim was.... well, it wasn't there. They'd changed it. Have you ever gone through an environment where you just KNOW where everything is supposed to be, because you've gone there so many times, but then this last time, it all looked the same, yet it didn't? I've lost my way, a bit.

I knew going into this that it would not be easy. That was the point of going this way. I knew that if I'd stayed where I was comfortable, I would not have grown. I would have stagnated. So I followed His leading, and here I am. UNCOMFORTABLE. God and I have the most amazing relationship, we honestly do. We argue all the time. Rather, I argue, He smiles at me in tender loving, and then I do my own thing, convinced that I am right..... and eventually I submit to Him. Yes, Father, you were right. (Of Course.)

The thing is, I know that He's been with me this entire time. I know this. I have a peace about being here, even though it's so uncomfortable for me. Ravens have been talking to me. Non-stop. I hear them every morning and they are having such great conversations. It's one of the things that I have missed most about Home. It's hard to explain how the soil of a place gets beneath your skin so much that you don't realize that it's there until you're not there. Alaska is, and always will be, HOME.

It's interesting to me, being here again. Everything is different, yet it's the same. It's as I said earlier: you know where things are, yet.... you don't, quite. It's disorienting to say the least. My first full day back, we did some "sight-seeing", basically just driving around town to look around and show me what had changed. Oh my goodness, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED!!! Most of the buildings that I knew before are still here, but now streets are wider, things look just slightly off, and of course there are more buildings, newer buildings. I was in complete shock. I think the shock is beginning to wear off.... sort of. This feeling of disorientation is like nothing I've ever felt before. I feel like it is beginning to wear off, though, finally. I've been sort of holed up, trying to find my sea legs/land legs again. I feel like it's time to venture forth, however. I FEEL Him present, gently pushing me out, watching my legs wobble a bit, His hand right behind me, ready to scoop me up should I stumble.

Today, I am headed out to the Loussac, one of the libraries here in town. I remember this library so much from my youth. I'm EXCITED to go there again. It feels like FOREVER.

Come Fly With Me, Let's Fly, Let's Fly Away....

2011-04-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

This time, three days from now I will be on a plane. It's strange realizing that I am leaving Bellingham after such a long sojourn here. Honestly, though, I am more excited than sad to be kicking off the dirt from my heels and flying, flying away. It's been more years than I care to remember away from home, but God is indeed calling me home. It would be far more comfortable for me to stay in quiet little Bellingham. Here, I know the rules, I know the people, the spots. Returning, returning is about re-learning, and re-discovering what I left. I know that it will not be the same as what I left previously, and that is an exciting thing, in and of itself. When I went home in 2004, I was in so much pain I could barely see the world around me. Everything was red and bright and too much. After two months, I ran away, back where it was most comfortable. In 2007, when I last visited, things had begun to feel different. And now, 2011. I am actually returning. Permanently. I doubt that I will return to little quiet Bellingham for much other than a visit. But Alaska, Alaska is singing to me, and I hear her, loud and clear. More, though, I hear God, clearing the way for me to return. That is most precious of all.

The Jezebel Spirit--some thoughts

2011-02-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

The past few months have been interesting. I can feel a constant push/pull tug of war going on and it's exciting to be able to feel such things within me, as well as to see how it interacts with the world around me. One interesting change I've noted: "stories" in the Old Testament & New Testament aren't just "stories" anymore. They've become real on a more personal level, so much so that I've begun to see that the influences of the deep past are still prevalent today. They are still knocking around, still gaining a hold and threatening to tear those who love God most into itty-bitty shreds, a millimeter at a time. Doesn't seem like it's much at first, a millimeter. But it's rather like a jar of pennies. At first the little bits of copper don't seem like much, til the glass bouy you have them in shatters under the weight of all that copper.

I've been reading up on Jezebel. I think most people immediately associate the word Jezebel with promiscuity, lasciviousness, wantonness, sexual immorality, etc... But what I don't think a lot of people see is the underside of the Jezebel spirit: the manipulation, the control, the power-seeking hunger, the overreaching sense of SELF involved.They also don't see the counterpart to Jezebel: her husband Ahab, who to all intents and purposes was emasculated by his wife, thoroughly controlled, who basically abdicated his throne in favor of her rule (all behind the scenes of course). Here's the best part: Jezebel was a VERY devout woman. VERY DEVOUT. However, she violated the cardinal rule: Thou shalt have no other gods before Me (including the god of SELF, Baal, and Ashteroth).

Being fully submitted to God is hard work. Admitting that I am very good friends with the Spirit of Jezebel is humbling, and humiliating. Recognizing that I have walked in these shoes for 17 years, never realizing what I was doing to my partners, nor myself, is a test of self-awareness and openness to God's hand as nothing ever before. I still struggle, desperately at times, against my desire for a husband, a mate. And while I desire it, I still fear it, fear what I may turn into, as a wife. Do I lose respect for my husband? What if I make a mistake? What if what if what if....

It all goes back to being submitted to God. And it IS hard work, the hardest work I've ever undertaken in my entire life. However, if I'd wanted the easy life, I would have been married five times over by this point in time.

Long story short: daily awareness of submission is important, vastly far more important than whether or not a client has called in, returned paperwork, a coworker drives you nuts, someone from your small group who doesn't respect you, the fact that you're unhappy in your marriage, you feel desperately alone, your kids are heathen monsters, or the fact that the earth is currently going to hell in a handbasket and our nation is driving. Trusting in God, being SUBMITTED TO GOD, means trusting Him with the small stuff. Really. After all, He takes care of you, doesn't He? :P

New Ties, Breaking Ties, Nuances of Life...

2010-12-05T11:42:00.000-08:00

It's interesting to me, how life seems to fly by at the blink of an eye. The Lord has me in Ezekiel, and Habakkuk, and Malachi. I left my Thursday evening Bible Study group. Just felt so led to go deeper with God, and felt that He was asking me to nest with Him, silent, in the stillness. It's hard to explain. I'm actually not as lonely as I was afraid I would be. I enjoy living alone, I have discovered. I love the fact that it is quiet, and peaceful, and still when I need it to be. After the past two weeks of falling asleep by 8:30pm, last night I was awake until 10 or 11pm. Then I woke up at 2:30am. How strange. I was definitely awake for a reason, and for some reason kept having thoughts of all the HUGE mistakes I've made in my life thus far. It was interesting, to say the least. After an hour of tossing and turning, struggling to fall back asleep, I rolled over onto my back, lay there, shut my eyes, and begged God to please take this from me so that I could sleep. Probably the first time I have ever actually done something like that, asking for a simple ease of my thoughts. I actually found that it worked. I was asleep within moments.

I love how He shows me, constantly, how nothing is too big, nor too small, for my Lord. I love how He shows me, in so many ways, that He loves me and cares for me, even down to the tiniest, smallest, most seemingly insignificant detail.

THAT is what faith is all about.

I'm learning. Slowly at times, yet still.... I am learning.

The beauty of being broken is that the repair job is amazing.

2010-09-18T11:41:00.001-07:00

By far my biggest challenge in my amazing walk with Christ has been my habit of picking men who ignore me in one way or another [daddy issues, yes I know... I'm a work in progress]. Having a presence in my life that goes out of their way to make themselves known to me, who actively pursues me, who absolutely NEVER ignores me and makes sure that I realize they are there.... well it's freaky. And sometimes it makes me want to come out of my skin because it is so unknown, so uncomfortable.

No human can fulfill this desire, this desire for completeness, this desire for the trampoline for my falls. I feel so overwhelmed by emotion when I think about the faithfulness of God. I started a Book of Miracles, on the suggestion of a friend, because there are so many clear concrete examples in my life that I hope to never ever forget them.

Perhaps what stuns me the most is the clear communication I get from Him on High. There's really no ambiguity. It's very black and white, with no real wiggle room. I honestly believe it's because I'm so frickin' stubborn that I don't listen until it IS absolutely black and white, no wiggle room. I realize every single time when I'm smacked upside the head who is doing this, where this comes from, why this is happening. I remember when Parke left over a year ago, and the wedding bells crashed, who was doing this. I didn't like the feeling, but I still knew that this was supposed to happen. I fought it, for five months..... but I still knew, deep down, that we weren't supposed to get married, I just couldn't admit it because my ego was too wrapped up in this "perfect" guy and his perfect family. I have come to the realization that the love I felt from his family kept me going far longer than our relationship actually did. Again, still seeking to fill that huge void, that black hole in my soul. Freedom is painful as hell.... I won't lie. The process of rending is like having your soul ripped out through your bellybutton. Sometimes you hurt so bad, all you can do is run away from polite civilization, up into the mtns and the trees, and pound and scream your fury and your hurt broken heart out into a tree.... something that won't break from your rage, your fury. Last year I did that more times than I can recount, in the midst of running back into his arms. [I did mention that I am stubborn...] Finally I couldn't stand the running. I gave in. I surrendered. On my knees, broken, sundered.

The beauty of being broken is that the repair job is amazing. The cracks still exist, that's called learning experiences. Much like my tattoos... all incredibly hard lessons to have learned, but beyond valuable to my growth and the state of my being, my soul. Much like my absolute adoration of crows feet, and scars on people. They tell a story, much like music does. I adore my scars and my silvers and my crows feet.... they say that a person has lived. The LIVING IS WHAT MATTERS. Obey without freaking question, and you are amply rewarded, rewarded beyond measure. I cannot explain this enough, with clarity for those with ears to hear. I heard it repeatedly before I finally got it. But.... I got it.

Just Breathe..... and let go. Fly.

Thursday, September 9, 2010 - Remembering May...

2010-09-09T22:23:00.001-07:00

I wanted to write about this, because I have come to the realization in the last six months that He truly IS present in ALL the little things. I am CONSTANTLY surrounded by the Lord. So many people scoff and roll their eyes, preferring to believe that God is in this safe box on high, unattainable, too holy by far to bother with us and our trivialities of existence. I finally realized the reason for this... pure unadulterated FEAR. God is OVER-FREAKING-WHELMING to me. Tears fall freely, and it's not driven by sadness by any means, but rather because I am PHYSICALLY OVERWHELMED by what He does to me, how He has worked in my life, how He continues to care for me, day in, day out. He truly IS the trampoline for my falls. Every day I feel like He peels off another layer of my old self, every day a new pair of budding wings are revealed, every day I am that much more free. I got out of the shower this last weekend at the beach, noticed myself in the mirror, and was genuinely happy and accepting of what I saw, naked. I. Am. BEAUTIFUL. I adore my body, and yes, some parts could be tighter, toner, firmer. But honestly? I'm built the way I am and I enjoy it, and I approve of me. I APPROVE OF ME. Do you have ANY freaking idea how AWESOME that is???????????????

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Monday, May 17, 2010
John 2 - Three Things
What is God like?

God himself is present in all things. He takes an interest in the predicament of the poor (they ran out of wine). He works miracles with water, the very element of life. He not only changes water into wine, but He changes it into the very BEST wine, the choicest of vintages.

He also demands respect for His house, and will physically drive out and reprimand those who take His house for granted.

He refuses to perform on command, given by unbelievers, but rather still offers promises that He fulfills in the fullness of time.

He does not need a man's testimony or confession because he already knows a man, inside and out.

What needs to change in me to be more like Him?

Sometimes I have a really hard time realizing or at least, making it part of my every day living reality that He really is present in all things, every little thing. I have no trouble realizing that He is present in the big things, for some reason that's not an issue for me. I feel that it's probably the same for a lot of people, too. But for me, I really have issues with living with the daily awareness that He is literally IN all things, present, always.....

What will I do for Him today?

Today I will be more aware of His presence in all of the little things.....

The Lord Smells Like Sweet Oranges and Chamomile....

2010-08-25T12:47:00.001-07:00

I wanted to share something... Sunday during prayer, I smelled the most amazing smell, sweet yet not cloying, not overbearing. One of my favorite scents, the smell of oranges and chamomile. I asked the ladies praying over me if they were wearing oranges and chamomile, none were. I grinned because I knew it was the Lord, my God, gifting me with His presence!

August 21, 2010... really?

2010-08-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

I mean, really? I've realized quite recently that I stopped posting in May. I have so much of a huge gap to fill here, I have to, have to do this!

Sitting at work right now, [clearly not working, but hey I'm off the clock!] listening to Etta James sing "If I Had You". I am struck by the realization that all love songs could really be turned to reflect one's overwhelming feelings of love for our Savior and Lord. Sounds super corny, but seriously? It's SO true.

Some time ago, I removed my "Grace" ring from my wedding finger. It was an intentional move on my part, the thought that first impressions would indicate that I was married, and thus perhaps one who was interested, wouldn't ask. God has brought so much up to the forefront of my heart these past few months, and honestly I've never felt so much peace in my entire life. Then other people show up from my past and I am truly rocked by past behaviors, past lifestyles and interests, and suddenly I'm in the midst of a huge angsty-fit and feeling distracted constantly by what surrounds me. Talk about chaos. I missed my calm! My peace!! Where did it go!?!?! Wracked by my confusion and doubt... not sure what was going on, why I was feeling such things, given my incredible peace of before.

But last night, wham. He brought everything to a head and asked point blank: "Fleshly union, marriage? Or Me?" and... "How much do you trust Me? Really?"

So. Long story short, the Grace ring is back on my ring finger. If God brings someone into my life, he will ask further. It's that simple. And guess what?

PEACE IS BACK.

Filling Our Needs: Ephesians 3:14-19

2010-05-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

Identifying our shortcomings should help to clarify our needs. We need resources, inner strength, love, direction, and power. And we don’t just need these things once, we need them to be replenished constantly because it seems that we keep running out.

The apostle Paul prayed, “From his [God’s] glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you . . . experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. . . . Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 3:16-19; 5:17-18).

The words made complete and filled in these passages mean “to fill up completely” or “to make full.” The verb tense used indicates that this is an ongoing process—we are to be made complete and filled up continually. True recovery only comes as we find a way to fill up the needs in our lives. Wherever we are short, God has the resources, love, direction, strength, and power to meet our needs. We can invite the Holy Spirit to fill us up every day.

God’s love reaches into every corner of our experience.

NewLife Ministries

John 2 - Three Things

2010-05-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

What is God like?

God himself is present in all things. He takes an interest in the predicament of the poor (they ran out of wine). He works miracles with water, the very element of life. He not only changes water into wine, but He changes it into the very BEST wine, the choicest of vintages.

He also demands respect for His house, and will physically drive out and reprimand those who take His house for granted.

He refuses to perform on command, given by unbelievers, but rather still offers promises that He fulfills in the fullness of time.

He does not need a man's testimony or confession because he already knows a man, inside and out.

What needs to change in me to be more like Him?

Sometimes I have a really hard time realizing or at least, making it part of my every day living reality that He really is present in all things, every little thing. I have no trouble realizing that He is present in the big things, for some reason that's not an issue for me. I feel that it's probably the same for a lot of people, too. But for me, I really have issues with living with the daily awareness that He is literally IN all things, present, always.....

What will I do for Him today?

Today I will be more aware of His presence in all of the little things.....

John 1 - Three Things

2010-05-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

What is God like?

God IS everything, IN everything, always there. God is LIFE. God is LIGHT. God is the giver of a second childhood that blesses and uplifts, that does not condemn. God is full of grace and truth, the truth that shines deep within and illuminates from the inside out. God is glorious. God gives one blessing after another, we cannot begin to count them all. God is manifest in our lives, God has taken away the sin of the world, God made Himself the sacrificial Lamb in order to take away that sin. God calls out those who He wants a personal relationship with, persistent. God renames us in His glory and discernment. God sees us, even when we do not see Him.

What needs to change in me to be more like Him?

Sometimes I am condemning of myself, and that translates into having a condemning heart towards others, even if I don't say it, it comes across in my spiritual flavor. I can accept that God does not condemn me, which increases my acceptance of myself, and automatically allows for acceptance of others.

What will I do for Him today?

Today I will focus on being a reflection of His light. Today, I will close my eyes and embrace the image of His illumination shining out of every pore. Today, I will accept myself, and in turn embrace acceptance towards others.

Ephesians, Three Things

2010-05-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

There are three chapters that I have done so far in Ephesians. I share this specific book every Friday with a friend in North Carolina; we each do the reading/questions on our own, then we read each other's posts and comment. It's fantastic because what comes up is almost always something different for each of us, and yet when we read the other, so many more dots are connected for us. It just feels as if God is SO moving us, asking us to contemplate things of His nature, and bringing it back to SPECIFICS. It's fine and dandy to talk in lofty terms, but the real trick is bringing it to the specifics.... that, I feel, is where real change begins to happen!!!
_________________
EPHESIANS 1

What is God like?

He blesses us

He chose us before the beginning of time

He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters of Christ

He forgives us

He has grace towards us

He has a purpose for us

He has sealed us to Him for all eternity

He gives us wisdom in Him and knowledge in Him

He gives us hope

What needs to change in me to be more like Him?

I am not always a believer in God's grace towards me; I do not always believe that God has a purpose for me.

I need to believe in God's grace towards me. In believing more fully in God's grace towards me, I feel that I will be better able to have grace towards others. I can be very judgmental when I think someone could be doing something more efficiently, or if my way works really well for me, but I don't extend them the courtesy of letting them do it their own way. My way is the best way. Ha, right! My life shows EXACTLY how well my way works!!!!!

I need to believe that God has a purpose for me. I always thought my 'purpose' was to be a helper's mate to my husband. I always believed that I would be like a lioness, doing the dirty work and the rearing of children, all that stuff, if only I had a male to come around and help out when things got REALLY tough and I couldnt' do it all by myself [being faced down by a pack of starving hyenas, for example].... Kinda silly I know, but I've ALWAYS prided myself on my work ethic and my sense of 'can do!' and I've always felt that I was meant to be a workhorse for my husband because dammit, I'm capable and what man WOULDN'T want a wife who was as capable as I am!? Guh. Talk about OVERFUNCTIONING. I need to turn MY WILL over to God, to realize that HIS PURPOSE doesn't necessarily mean it's the same thing as MY purpose. God knows what He has in store for me, I need to stop planning and overfunctioning, and DROP THE BALL so that God can PICK IT UP.

What will I do today for Him?

Today I will stay in the Word! Today I will practice believing in God's grace towards me. Today, I will practice believing in God's purpose and will in my life. That means, letting go of planning. Open handed through each day! Not white-knuckling through the day!
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EPHESIANS 2

What is God like?

He makes us alive like we never were before.

He is rich in mercy.

He loves us as no one on this planet can possibly love us, truly 100% unconditionally.

He shows us his grace through his loving-kindness towards us, in his sacrifice.

He gifts us with these things, not because we are worthy or deserve them, but because He loves us that much, that He would give us His all.

He is peace.

He has broken down walls that keep us separate.

He has built us a home where we are always welcome.

He has built a home inside us, too, so that we are inhabited by His spirit.

What needs to change in me to be more like Him?

I am not nearly as merciful as I could be. Tonight on my way home from hanging out with BS crew I started rehashing conversations in my head--conversations that were completely fictional, conversations btwn my ex and myself, where I confronted him with his insanity and his clear illogic, his clear narcissism. I am not feeling merciful. I am feeling wrathful and full of judgment and holier than thou-ness.

I could honestly try to love MYSELF unconditionally. I usually tried to love everyone else but me unconditionally, but it never worked out right because I honestly was operating with a hidden agenda, one I was not even aware of. This agenda comes from not loving MYSELF unconditionally, of not accepting nor simply loving, who I am, where I am, AS I AM.

I will continue to tear down the walls that separate me from Him Most High.

What will I do today for Him?

Today, I will not stand in His way, in loving me, in accepting me, in giving me the gifts which He so much wants to give me. Today, I will accept in grace.
__________
EPHESIANS 3

What is God like?

He gives grace, as a gift.

He has revealed the mystery of the Son through His Spirit.

He shares the promise of Christ with us.

He works within us, using His holy power.

He created all things on heaven and on earth.

God is wisdom.

He is our Lord; through faith in Him He allows us to approach with confidence and true freedom.

He gives us confidence and freedom.

He strengthens our inner being, our soul, with His power, with the Holy Spirit.

He inhabits our hearts.

He has sown us as seeds with ultimate love, showering us with His love and blessing.

He fills us to the brim, full to bursting, with all that is Him Most High.

He can do everything and anything, far more than we can ever imagine or want.

He works His power within us.

What can I change to be more like Him?

Submit more fully to the Father's wisdom.

Walk with ever-increasing strength full of the knowledge of His love, and His blessing.

Be more willing to talk about my faith with others, regardless of their walks of life, or the constraint of situations .

What will I do for Him today?

Today I will praise Him for having the patience to wait for me!

Today I will praise Him for having the utmost love for me!

Today I will pray to Him, giving Him those three things that have been weighing on my heart the past few days.

Today, I will talk to someone about His remarkable presence and love, through which He rescued a scared young woman and gave incredible freedom and ever-gaining confidence!

No water? No problem for these Jordanian farmers.

2010-02-19T10:47:00.001-08:00

No water? No problem for these Jordanian farmers.

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Twenty Ten?

2010-02-03T18:12:00.000-08:00

I have so many thoughts, words, revelations scattered all over the web and on paper here with me. I type so much faster than I write that I find it almost tedious to keep written works... well, written. I'd like to put it all down in one place, where I could reference it all at once. Keep it for posterity? That almost sounds egotistical, to me, somehow.
Is it possible to convey just how much I have learned in the past six months? I mean, really really reaaaaaaalllllllyyyyy learned? I'll post more on this later.

Who I am in Christ--I believe it, because He says so!

2010-01-25T23:09:00.000-08:00

THE WORD OF GOD SAYS:

I AM:

God's child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God which liveth and abideth forever (1 Peter 1:23)

Forgiven of all my sins and washed in the blood (Ephesians 1:7; Hebres 9:14; Col 1:14; 1 John 2:12; 1 John 1:9)

A new creature (2 Cor 5:17)

The temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19)

Delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God's kingdom (Col 1:13)

Redeemed from the curse of the law (1 Pet 1:18, 19; Gal 3:13)

Blessed!!!!! (Deut. 28:1-14; Gal 3:9)

A Saint (Rom 1:7; 1 Cor 1:2; Phil 1:1)

The head and not the tail (Deut 20:13)

Above only and not beneath (Deut. 28:13)

Holy and without blame before Him in Love (1 Pet 1:16; Eph 1:4)

Elect (Col 3:12; Rom 8:33)

Established to the end (1 Cor 1:8)

Made nigh by the blood of Christ (Eph 2:13)

Victorious (Rev 21:7)

Set free!!!!!!!! (John 8:31-33)

Strong in the Lord (Eph 6:10)

Dead to sin (Rom 6:2; 11; 1 Peter 2:24)

More than a conqueror (Rom 8:37)

Joint heir with Christ (Rom 8:17)

Sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise (Eph 1:13)

In Christ by His doing (1 Col 1:30)

Accepted in His beloved (Eph 1:6)

Complete in Him (Col 2:10)

Free from condemnation!!!!!!!!! (Rom 8:1)

The apple of my Father's eye (Deut. 32:10; Psalm 17:8)

Being changed into His image (2 Cor 3:18; Phil 1:6)

Beloved of God!!!! (Col 3:12; Rom 1:7; 1 Thess 1:4)

I HAVE:

The mind of Christ (Phil 2:5; 1 Cor 2:16)

Obtained an inheritance (Eph 1:11)

Overcome the world (1 John 5:4)

Everlasting life and will not be condemned (John 5:24 NIV; John 6:47)

The peace of God which passes ALL understanding (Phil 4:7)

I LIVE:

By and in the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:2)

I WALK:

In Christ Jesus (Col 2:6)

I CAN:

Do all things in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:13)

I SHALL:

Do even greater works than Christ Jesus (John 14:12)

I POSSESS:

The Greater One in me because greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world!!!!!!!! (1 John 4:4)

I PRESS:

Toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God (Phil 3:14)

I:

Always triumph in Christ!!!! (2 Cor 2:14)

MY LIFE:

Shows forth His praise (1 Pet 2:9)

Is hid with Christ in God (Col 3:3)

Joel Salatin advocates a better way to raise food | csmonitor.com

2009-11-30T10:23:00.001-08:00

Joel Salatin advocates a better way to raise food | csmonitor.com

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Breaking the Cycle... A Daily, plus, my evening!!!!

2009-11-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

God is truly good to me. God has been pushing me and working in me nonstop the past few months, and it's only going to get better! The past seven weeks in particular have been incredibly difficult as the layers of the onion that is my life slowly get peeled away. The more soft tissue underneath that gets exposed, the greater God's love for me shines.

Each week it's been a complete bombardment of God speaking and reaching out to me. If it's not what I'm learning in Living Waters, it's the sermons from the new church I've started seeking. If it's not one of those two, it's the Daily Devotionals that I get from New Life and Truth For Life. God is just seriously, seriously not letting me go, and not letting me down, either.

The encouragement I receive to truly press in to Him has been rewarded each and every step of the way. Tonight was just the icing on the cake. I can't imagine what's coming next.... but I'm excited!!!!! I really, really am!

For the first time in my life, I honestly feel FREE!!

_____________________________________________________________________
Breaking the Cycle
Bible Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:1-18
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Human existence consists of a series of patterns. Our world goes around the sun in an unending orbit; it spins on its axis with tireless regularity. Dysfunctional family patterns seem to resurface generation after generation in a wearying march of repetitious pain. We may grow tired and wonder if there's really any escape from the merry-go-round of addictive behavior and suffering.

King Solomon examined life and was discouraged by some of his observations. "Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers. . . . Everything is wearisome beyond description. . . ._No matter how much we hear, we are not content" (Ecclesiastes 1:4-8).

Life can seem like one meaningless, wearying cycle after another. Solomon observed that our lives can be spent without ever going anywhere. He also wrote these instructions: "Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the paths of the righteous" (Proverbs 2:20). Throughout the Bible we see that life can be linear, leading somewhere. Even though we are powerless to stop all the destructive cycles around us, we can take our own steps in the direction of recovery and a new way of life.

Our efforts just add to the destructive cycles in life; only God can break them.

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER

2009-11-20T09:02:00.001-08:00

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love". I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1:
Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.

50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3:
Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions:
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So ask about your Significant Other... What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4:
How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be niceto, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5 :
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective....
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance....It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention.... Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye". Before you get involved andmake a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:

1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace it.

No matter what our circumstances, God meets us there with his grace.

2009-11-15T07:28:00.001-08:00

Step 1 / Day 15
Serenity despite Powerlessness
Bible Reading: Luke 1:26-56
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies and that our lives had become unmanageable.

There are times in life when we are powerless over the circumstances around us. We're not in the driver's seat. We have to do things someone else's way. And often, the whole experience is uncomfortable and frightening. During these times we can find hope and serenity in the promises of God.

Mary was in her early teens when destiny took her by the hand. She was greeted by an angel who announced that she had been chosen by God to be the mother of the Messiah. She found herself pregnant, much to the confusion of her fiancé, family, friends, and neighbors. After the angel returned to visit her fiancé, he believed Mary's story and married her. When the time came to give birth, she and Joseph were required to travel the long, difficult journey to Bethlehem. There, in a smelly stable carved out of the side of a rocky hill, she delivered the baby. No one but her husband was there to attend Jesus' birth (Luke 1:26-2:20).

What power did she have over her circumstances? She was powerless under the will of God, the decree of the state, the limitations of their financial poverty, and the demands of her body. And yet, by holding on to the promises God had given her, she found serenity in her powerlessness and gave birth to the Savior. When we are powerless, we can find serenity by holding on to the promises of God. When we do this, we will find new life and salvation being born again into our lives.

No matter what our circumstances, God meets us there with his grace.

-New Life Ministries-

Chastening yourself only leads to further shame, but God's loving words heal! You just have to Believe Him!

2009-11-06T00:29:00.001-08:00

Go Back to the Gospel --Isaiah 44

When a believer has fallen into a low, sad state of feeling, he often tries to lift himself out of it by chastening himself with dark and gloomy fears. That is not the way to rise from the dust, but to continue in it.

We may as well chain the eagle's wing to make it fly as doubt in order to increase our grace. It is not the law but the Gospel that saves the seeking soul at first; and it is not a legal bondage but gospel liberty that can restore the fainting believer afterwards.

Slavish fear does not bring the backslider back to God, but the sweet wooings of love attract him to Jesus. This morning are you thirsting for the living God and unhappy because you cannot find him to the delight of your h eart? Have you lost the joy of the Lord, and is your prayer, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation"?1

Are you conscious also that you are unproductive, like the dry ground, that you are not bringing forth the fruit that God has a right to expect of you, that you are not as useful in the church or in the world as your heart desires to be?

Then here is exactly the promise that you need: "For I will pour water on the thirsty land." You will receive the grace you so desperately need, and you will have it in abundance.

Water refreshes the thirsty: You will be refreshed; your desires shall be satisfied. Water revives sleeping vegetable life: Your life will be restored by fresh grace.

Water makes the bud develop and makes the fruit ripen; and so by God's grace you will be made fruitful in His ways. Whatever good quality there is in divine grace, you will enjoy it to the full. All the riches of divine grace you will receive in plenty; you shall be as it were drenched with it: And as sometimes the meadows become flooded by the bursting rivers, and the fields are turned into pools, so shall you be-the thirsty land shall be springs of water.

1 Psalm 51:12

A Prayer.... for each and every morning!

2009-10-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

God, I give to You all that I am and all that I
will be for Your healing and direction. Make new
this day as I release all my worries and fears,
knowing that You are by my side. Please help me to
open myself to Your love, to allow Your love to heal
my wounds, and to allow Your love to flow through
me and from me to those around me. May Your
will be done this day and always. Amen

Let It Go!

2009-10-12T09:21:00.001-07:00

By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay..

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell yousomething. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye... It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you! u have a bad attitude.... ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ...........

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,' then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

There is no power in the means themselves without the presence of Christ

2009-10-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.

-- Luke 5:4

We learn from this narrative the necessity of human activity. The catch of fish was miraculous, but neither the fisherman nor his boat nor his fishing tackle were ignored; they were all were used to take the fish. So in the saving of souls, God works by means; and while the present economy of grace shall stand, God will be pleased by the foolishness of preaching to save those who believe. When God works without instruments, He is glorified; but He has selected this plan of human involvement as being that by which He is most magnified in the earth.

The means themselves can accomplish nothing. "Master, we toiled all night and took nothing!" What was the reason for this? Were they not experienced fishermen going about their business? They were not novices; they understood the work. Was the problem that they lacked skill? No. Were they lazy? No; they had worked. Did they lack perseverance? No; they had worked all night. Was there a lack of fish in the sea? Certainly not, for as soon as the Master came, they swam to the net in large numbers. What, then, is the reason? It is because there is no power in the means themselves apart from the presence of Jesus. Without Him we can do nothing. But with Christ we can do all things.

Christ's presence confers success. Jesus sat in Peter's boat, and His will, by a mysterious influence, drew the fish to the net. When Jesus is lifted up in His Church, His presence is the church's power-the shout of a king is in the midst of her. "I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself." (John 12:32) Let us go out this morning on our work of soul-fishing, looking up in faith, and around us at the great opportunity. Let us work until the night comes, and we will not labor in vain, for He who tells us to let down the net will fill it with fish.

What is it about having ears to hear, and eyes to see? I feel as if my eyes are opening and my ears are hearing again for the first time. I have a choice before me, and I'm not sure what to do with it, which way to go. Left turn ahead? Right turn ahead?

a repost

2009-10-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

For some reason I happened upon this again, and was struck anew at the meaning and importance for my own life, and the discoveries I've been making about myself and my relationships (with myself, God, everyone whom I interact with).

It's odd to be sitting back, leaning back, actually, and asking myself honestly, WHAT DO I WANT? What do I NOT want?

I am imbued with the sense that now is the time for true lasting change. Now, I can honestly begin to envision what I want, and actually begin to embrace that vision. I've been feeling incredibly stuck the majority of my life, out of control, not understanding why certain things happened the way that they did. I had no idea that my unconscious need for control and safety were in fact the root causes of the chaos that imbued my life. How ironic, that the one thing you desire most is the least likely to ever happen based on your own fear and simple bad habits.

I say bad habits, because ultimately that is what they are: ingrained habits of thought, of response, reactive vs. proactive thinking and being. Simply not BEING.

Anyways, here's the trigger below. Enjoy!

Life
Week of September 20, 2009 - Margaret Mitchell

“Give ear and come to Me; hear Me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, My faithful love promised to David.” Isaiah 55:3

Good news brings life. And God longs for us to receive His good news. There is so much that He wants to give us. But are we willing to listen? Do we hearken when He speaks to our hearts to sit with Him and partake of the life He offers?

Relationship demands intimacy and priority. If we are not spending the time with God that He longs to have with us, we are robbing the Kingdom and robbing those He has called us to serve because we cannot give out that which we do not have. We will end up giving and receiving our meager portion, not God’s greater serving.

In my years of working as a flight attendant, I learned how to function safely in a cabin decompression. I was taught to first don an oxygen mask and then assist others, just like in the airplane safety videos. The reason for helping myself first is because, in a serious decompression at high altitudes, I may only have seconds to function before loosing consciousness. If I did not breathe in the oxygen supplied from the source above my head, I would not have the ability to help anyone else because life would begin to drain out of me.

This life-sustaining priority is often the opposite of how we think in the world or how we think as women in caring for others. Too often, we serve everyone else and accept the little bit of time and energy that remains. Sometimes, we even give God the leftovers. We think we’re being unselfish by putting the needs of others before our own, but the truth is that we’re putting people and daily responsibilities before God. We end up running on empty because we’re not taking the time to sit and sup with the Lord.

Interestingly enough, in an aircraft decompression, the time between a person’s full ability to function and their inability to function is called the “time of useful consciousness.” This raises the question, “How useful are we?” Are we filled up with the richness of His presence, or are we depleted? It may help to be reminded that our lives were bought with a price. Therefore, this resource of time God gave us is not our own. It may also help to remember that Christ did only what The Father called Him to do. What things are we doing that God didn’t call us to do? What tasks are draining life out of us?

Isaiah 55:2 asks, “Why spend money [resources] on what is not bread [life], and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”

God’s first and greatest commandment is to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mk. 12:30). “All” does not mean a meager portion. And His second greatest commandment is to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mk. 12:31).

Are we honoring God’s priorities by partaking of the bread of life (Him) first so that we can give a rich love to others? Or do we need to spend more time at His table?

The key is a shift in priorities. God is waiting to help. May we spend some of the time He graciously gives us to examine our hearts so that we can give life to others.

The Importance of Fellowship

2009-09-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

Our Shield of Togetherness
by Steve Arterburn

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Alone we’re vulnerable to temptation. Together, however, we form a shield of protection for one another. God wants you and I to grow spiritually in a network of mutual commitment and accountability, where we help each other to think and live in new ways.

The apostle Paul wrote, “In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan” (Ephesians 6:16). The shield of faith was likened to the shields carried by Roman soldiers, which were able to cover the entire body.To advance in battle, a group of soldiers would assemble together, making a wall of shields for protection as they moved forward.

Similarly, we’re told to stick together. The author of Hebrews wrote, “Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other” (Hebrews 10:25). Our encouragement of one another and our shared faith in God and his Word will serve as the shield we need to persevere in tough times.

Who is standing beside you in the everyday battles of your life? Are you alone on the field or do you have trusted friends on each side? If you’re alone, how is that working out for you? Who has God called you to stand beside?

“If I have seen farther than other men, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” - Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
----------

I've been doing a lot of reading the past week regarding the consequences of growing up in dysfunction. I've always hated people that whined about their childhood issues; I've always thought that it was always just an excuse to not move on and be an adult.

What I'm beginning to realize is that there's a vast difference between acknowledging a problem + getting help and acknowledging a problem and wallowing in it.

I'm still struggling with my actions since I was 13. I'm beginning to see patterns I never really knew existed. And I'm trying desperately to change it.

so what does it really mean, to surrender?

2009-09-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, I happened to read my daily Oswald Chambers book: "My Utmost for His Highest" and stumbled upon the following gem:

"True surrender is not simply surrender of our external life but surrender of our will— and once that is done, surrender is complete. The greatest crisis we ever face is the surrender of our will. Yet God never forces a person’s will into surrender, and He never begs. He patiently waits until that person willingly yields to Him. And once that battle has been fought, it never needs to be fought again.

Surrender for Deliverance. "Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest" ( Matthew 11:28 ). It is only after we have begun to experience what salvation really means that we surrender our will to Jesus for rest. Whatever is causing us a sense of uncertainty is actually a call to our will— "Come to Me." And it is a voluntary coming.

Surrender for Devotion. "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself . . . " (Matthew 16:24). The surrender here is of my self to Jesus, with His rest at the heart of my being. He says, "If you want to be My disciple, you must give up your right to yourself to Me." And once this is done, the remainder of your life will exhibit nothing but the evidence of this surrender, and you never need to be concerned again with what the future may hold for you. Whatever your circumstances may be, Jesus is totally sufficient (see 2 Corinthians 12:9 and (Philippians 4:19).

Surrender for Death. ". . . another will gird you . . ." (John 21:18 ; also see John21:19 ). Have you learned what it means to be girded for death? Beware of some surrender that you make to God in an ecstatic moment in your life, because you are apt to take it back again. True surrender is a matter of being "united together [with Jesus] in the likeness of His death" ( Romans 6:5 ) until nothing ever appeals to you that did not appeal to Him.

And after you surrender— then what? Your entire life should be characterized by an eagerness to maintain unbroken fellowship and oneness with God."

So what then, does surrender really look like? I've thought in the past that I'd truly surrendered. And in fact, in looking back a year ago, I'd thought that I'd surrendered then, too. But given the events of the past two and a half years, I'm beginning to realize that while I may have thought that I'd surrendered... I really never did. Not wholey, not completely. But now, now I'm beginning to realize that it is time. It is fully time, and it is fully God's Will that this should happen. I am beginning to realize how desperately He craves me. And that is an amazing thing to know, and to finally begin believing.

Two thought-provoking posts from Margaret Mitchell

2009-09-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

Life
Week of September 20, 2009

“Give ear and come to Me; hear Me, that your soul may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, My faithful love promised to David.” Isaiah 55:3

Good news brings life. And God longs for us to receive His good news. There is so much that He wants to give us. But are we willing to listen? Do we hearken when He speaks to our hearts to sit with Him and partake of the life He offers?

Relationship demands intimacy and priority. If we are not spending the time with God that He longs to have with us, we are robbing the Kingdom and robbing those He has called us to serve because we cannot give out that which we do not have. We will end up giving and receiving our meager portion, not God’s greater serving.

In my years of working as a flight attendant, I learned how to function safely in a cabin decompression. I was taught to first don an oxygen mask and then assist others, just like in the airplane safety videos. The reason for helping myself first is because, in a serious decompression at high altitudes, I may only have seconds to function before loosing consciousness. If I did not breathe in the oxygen supplied from the source above my head, I would not have the ability to help anyone else because life would begin to drain out of me.

This life-sustaining priority is often the opposite of how we think in the world or how we think as women in caring for others. Too often, we serve everyone else and accept the little bit of time and energy that remains. Sometimes, we even give God the leftovers. We think we’re being unselfish by putting the needs of others before our own, but the truth is that we’re putting people and daily responsibilities before God. We end up running on empty because we’re not taking the time to sit and sup with the Lord.

Interestingly enough, in an aircraft decompression, the time between a person’s full ability to function and their inability to function is called the “time of useful consciousness.” This raises the question, “How useful are we?” Are we filled up with the richness of His presence, or are we depleted? It may help to be reminded that our lives were bought with a price. Therefore, this resource of time God gave us is not our own. It may also help to remember that Christ did only what The Father called Him to do. What things are we doing that God didn’t call us to do? What tasks are draining life out of us?

Isaiah 55:2 asks, “Why spend money [resources] on what is not bread [life], and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”

God’s first and greatest commandment is to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mk. 12:30). “All” does not mean a meager portion. And His second greatest commandment is to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mk. 12:31).

Are we honoring God’s priorities by partaking of the bread of life (Him) first so that we can give a rich love to others? Or do we need to spend more time at His table?

The key is a shift in priorities. God is waiting to help. May we spend some of the time He graciously gives us to examine our hearts so that we can give life to others.

Week of September 20
Vindication

"He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false. He will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God his Savior. Such is the generation of those who seek Him, who seek Your face, O God of Jacob." ~ Psalm 24:4-6

Have you ever experienced injustice in the workplace? Perhaps politics played a role. Maybe you were betrayed in some way, condemned even by those with whom you shared confidences. Did others gossip about you. What did you do?

Did you keep walking in upright obedience to God? Or did you fall for the bait and react in carnal ways? Perhaps you've done both intermittently. None of us perfectly process circumstances all the time.

Although we may feel like we're stumbling through daily circumstances, groping at God to relieve the pain, there is hope. If we choose honest repentance, there will come a time when God will set things right. When we have been tested sufficiently, fired for purity's sake, and God has allowed the flames to have their complete work in us, He will move on our behalf. Isaiah 49:8 says, "In the time of My favor I will answer you . . ."

Repentance leads to redemption. And although we may feel we've been wronged and it's the other gal's fault, it's important to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us what part, if any, we had in the issue.

I know of a married couple who discipline their children by having them sit on a "repentance bench" until they repent for their part in disputes. As they sit side by side, they are not allowed to blame each other. When they repent, they are relieved to resume their day.

How often do we assume the victim role and blame others? Even if we did not instigate the event, God may be using unpleasant circumstances or behavior of others as a vice-like instrument to force issues within us to come to the surface for the purpose of inviting us to overcome the limitation. He may be readying us for promotion by preparing us. When things don't bother us anymore, they can't bind us, and we are free to move on.

No circumstance or person is too relentless for God's intervention. If people do not hearken to God's directives, He has been known to release His judgment upon them. But we must be in right standing. Our freewill choice will determine a lot.

In God's time, He will deliver us from gossip to greatness, from misery to majesty, from devour to divine, from persecution to peace, from invasion to intimacy, from division to revision, from feuding to favor, from condemnation to compassion, from crushed to comforted, from fear to faith, from holes to wholeness, from blockage to boldness, from hatred to harmony, from sin to sweetness, from false accusations to freedom, from strongholds to life, from strangleholds to new opportunities and adventures. The chains come off, and we are restored and vindicated.

Our decision to humble ourselves and honestly repent of our part in the journey will break the division and strangleholds in our work lives and beyond. Though we cannot control another person, God will fight our battle on our behalf, and we will come through victorious. We will be vindicated. We will be honored, even publicly. What has been out of priority will be put into place. Our garden of safety and security will be restored. And we will finish the race well.

Are you ready to be vindicated? Spend some intimate time with the Lord and honestly repent each time He reveals your part in a situation. In the time of God's favor, you will see the fruit of blessing in your life. And you will walk in the freedom of victory again.

Self-Awareness = Self Realization = Self Love = Accepting God's Love

2009-09-08T15:11:00.000-07:00

Last night was a particularly painful experience. Met with two women from church who are so filled with Grace I cannot even begin to explain it.

Praying to the Lord and asking for direction, asking for protection, renouncing b.s...... it came out that one of the ladies had a picture of Jesus, at my feet, washing me in His love, His acceptance, His wanting of me, as I am, broken and unhealthy.

The thought of Jesus sitting at my feet, holding my hands, washing my feet and giving me all of His love is too much for me to handle. All I could hear in my brain was "Why would He do that?" Over, and over, and over again.

Stark terror, in all honesty. That's my position, at the feet, washing feet and giving comfort. I'm not one to easily accept someone at MY feet, offering comfort. It feels..... wrong. So wrong.

I'm the one that accepts others, I am the one that gives of myself so much that there's nothing left, in the end, except a little kernel, that slowly grows in the absence of giving, to be given away again.

I never realized how lonely I really was, in the end... that when someone actually talked to me about the things I care so much about, I fell right into the self-destructive nature of a non-relationship-relationship again. How did I do that? Really? So many others I'd been able to rebuff, strong inside, secure in the knowledge that I was doing the correct thing, that their path was not mine, nor ours, together. No second thoughts.

I realized I'm no different than father, somehow. I've always believed he had white-knight syndrome... I guess somehow I do, too?

How is it that I honestly believe that if you throw enough love at something, or someone, eventually it will all even out in the end, and they/it/whatever will work out and be healed? That if you never give up, you're not letting them down? That you should NEVER give up, no matter what?

Where is the demarcation line between faith, and idiocy? Hope, and self-destruction?

Isaiah 55 - NIV

2009-09-05T00:20:00.001-07:00

Isaiah 55

Invitation to the Thirsty
1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.

2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

3 Give ear and come to me;
hear me, that your soul may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.

4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a leader and commander of the peoples.

5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
because of the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor."

6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.

7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD's renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed."

Using God as your Life Inspiration....

2009-09-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

Today, I am full of hope and joy and grace-filled love.

I'm okay today, actually. It's kind of funny, but I had my itunes on random repeat last night, and somehow it popped onto a song I haven't ever heard... ever. And I was reading a book, and the lyrics caught my hind brain and I sat up straight and paid attention. It was great. I'll put the song/lyrics at the bottom of this so if you're interested, you can hear it...

Also, went to dinner with my friend last night and that was great. I was able to tell her that God always had her back, no matter what, even when she didn't feel like He did. I've been working on her for the past two months... and she's been going through some really rough times at work, a lot of uncertainty and a LOT of fear. So much fear, that she's jumpy over the slightest things, like she expects to be attacked at any moment. I've only seen this level of fear in abused children before... never in a woman who is ** and had an honestly good life, no abuse, etc... Anyways, God is moving, and it's very readily apparent in the lives of those around me, including my own!

Also, I had a pretty intense dream this morning that woke me up with this overwhelming feeling of... "you know what you think of doing is wrong, and you cannot do it if you ever have any hope of being an accountable Christian walking a True Walk with Christ who loves you more than ANYTHING." Basically the dream was all about a serious temptation in my life that I've turned away from deliberately for the last four years... and I think Satan has been whispering his sweet seductive nothings in my ear for the past two to three weeks...

Well, God spoke to me, and definitely laid it all out there in black and white. And I am grateful. And, it's not condemnation in any sort... it was a simple message and it made a world of difference.

In other news... my ridiculously-giant heritage beefsteak tomato is throwing some beautiful fist-sized tomatoes that are finally turning red... I'm so dang excited!

And, my cherry tomatoes, "Sweet 100s" are producing well!

The song is titled, "Better Things" and it is by a group called Massive Attack.

Don't drag me down
Just because you're down
And just cause you're blue
Don't make me too
And though you've found
You need more than me
Don't talk to me
About being free

That's freedom w...ithout love
And magic without love
Magic without love

Hear me say
Better things will surely come our way
Hear me say
Better things will surely come our way

You say the magic's gone
Well i'm not a magician
You say the spark's gone
Well get an electrician
And save your line about needing to be free
All that's bullshit babe
You just want rid of me

You want freedom without love
And magic without love
Magic without love
Yeah

Hear me say
Better things will surely come my way
Hear me say
Better things will surely come my way

For any who wonder... this is the utmost compelling reason to become Christian Agrarian....

2009-08-18T19:41:00.001-07:00

'Dervaes had his four children steeped in old-time chores. Three of them still work and live with him on their tenth of an acre, making around $25,000 by selling their food to nearby restaurants.

“It’s a blessing,” he says. “If you have to work, this is the way to work. You can see your child grow up and develop; you get to see it, share it….It’s mutually beneficial to everyone. When you all see the success of the family, it goes down to the littlest child who does what he can do to make himself feel worthwhile. He can see the work of his hands. There’s strength in the unity of a family working together.”'

In a completely different direction....
I've done some things this past week that have prompted some serious conviction from the Lord. I'm not proud, and I fully believe that you reap what you sow. A thousand fold. Confession to the Lord for forgiveness first, and confession to the person I wronged second.

God sent this to me, today, as further impetus, and I am definitely feeling the bite.

'Renounce Sensuality. So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

Renew Holiness. You, however, did not come to know the Lord that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Discard Unrighteousness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger, do not sin" (Psalm 4:4): Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing, must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Imitate God in Love. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.'

Ephesians 4:17 - 5:2

Moving Into The Future.... A Prayer by Stormie Omartian

2009-08-12T14:53:00.001-07:00

Lord, where I have made the mistake of doing what I want and then expecting You to bless it, forgive me. Instead I ask what You want me to do, knowing that when I do Your will, You will bless me. Enable me to hear Your voice and trust Your leading. I want it said of me when I leave this earth and go to be with You, that I walked with God. I want it said that Your glory was seen in my life. I trust my future to You, knowing You have it safely in Your hands.

'Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; but the Lord will arise over you, and His glory will be seen upon you.' -- Isaiah 60:1-2

When God whispers, we tend to ignore it or overlook it. But when He shouts, you REALLY have to pay attention. It is impossible to ignore.

2009-08-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

Forty Day Journey With Purpose

2009-08-07T01:37:00.000-07:00

Today, August 7, 2009, I am beginning a forty-day journey with purpose.

Forty days is pretty huge in the Bible, (Noah, Moses, Nineveh, Jesus Christ, etc...) and there have been multiple times in the last two and a half years where forty days have come and gone, without tangible results because of my unwillingness to give up my sinful self.

Onward and upward!

Defeating Negativity...

2009-07-18T11:00:00.000-07:00

New Life Ministries

Defeating Negativity

Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you’ll only make it worse.
PROVERBS 19:19 MSG

From experience, we know that it is easy to criticize others. And we know that it is usually far easier to find faults than to find solutions. Still, the urge to criticize others remains a powerful temptation for most of us.

Negativity is highly contagious: We give it to others who, in turn, give it back to us. This stress-inducing cycle can be broken only by positive thoughts, heartfelt prayers, encouraging words, and meaningful acts of kindness.

As thoughtful servants of a loving God, we have no valid reason—and no legitimate excuse—to be negative. So, when we are tempted to be overly critical of others, or unfairly critical of ourselves, we must use the transforming power of God’s love to break the chains of negativity. We must defeat negativity before negativity defeats us.

Winners see an answer for every problem; losers see a problem in every answer. ~Barbara Johnson

We never get anywhere—nor do our conditions and circumstances change—when we look at the dark side of life. ~Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

To lose heart is to lose everything. ~John Eldredge

Do not build up obstacles in your imagination. Difficulties must be studied and dealt with, but they must not be magnified by fear. ~Norman Vincent Peale

TODAY’S PRAYER
Lord, let me be an expectant Christian. Let me expect the best from You, and let me look for the best in others. If I become discouraged, Father, turn my thoughts and my prayers to You. Let me trust You, Lord, to direct my life. And, let me be Your faithful, hopeful, optimistic servant
every day that I live. Amen

After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace . . . Will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

2009-07-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace . . . Will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
1 Peter 5:10

You have seen the arch of heaven as it spans the plain: Glorious are its colors, and rare its hues. It is beautiful, but, sadly, it passes away, and the rainbow is no more. The fair colors give way to the fleecy clouds, and the sky is no longer brilliant with the tints of heaven. It is not established. How can it be? A glorious show made up of transitory sunbeams and passing raindrops-how can it remain?

The graces of the Christian character must not resemble the rainbow in its transitory beauty but, on the contrary, must be established, settled, abiding. Seek, O believer, that every good thing you have may be an abiding thing. May your character not be a writing upon the sand, but an inscription upon the rock! May your faith be no "baseless fabric of a vision," but may it be built of material able to endure that awful fire that shall consume the wood, hay, and stubble of the hypocrite. May you be rooted and grounded in love. May your convictions be deep, your love real, your desires sincere. May your whole life be so settled and established that all the blasts of hell and all the storms of earth will never be able to remove you.

But notice how this blessing of being established in the faith is gained. The apostle's words point us to suffering as the means employed-"After you have suffered a little while." It is of no use to hope that we shall be well rooted if no rough winds pass over us. Those old gnarlings on the root of the oak tree and those strange twistings of the branches all tell of the many storms that have swept over it, and they are also indicators of the depth into which the roots have forced their way. So the Christian is made strong and firmly rooted by all the trials and storms of life. Do not shrink then from the tempestuous winds of trial, but take comfort, believing that by their rough discipline God is fulfilling this benediction to you.

The family Bible reading plan:
Joshua 14-15Joshua 16-17
Psalm 146-147Psalm 148

Please note: Devotional material is taken from “Morning and Evening,” written by C.H. Spurgeon, revised and updated by Alistair Begg. Copyright (c) 2003, Good News Publishers and used by Truth for Life with written permission. Today’s Bible Reading material is taken from McCheyne Bible reading plan and used by Truth For Life with permission. Scripture quotations are taken from Holy Bible: English Standard Version, copyright (c) 2001, Good News Publishers.

Truth For Life's agreement with Good News Publishers prevents the ministry from allowing a printer-friendly version of the devotional material. We are sorry for any inconvenience.

Billie Holiday "All of Me"...

2009-07-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Well, LOTS to report. Seriously! I just don't know where to even start!

My birthday BBQ on the 6th of June was a hit. I had good friends, good times, and good food, all mixed together! It was fantastic.

My turned in my notice to the coffee shop; August 31st will be my very last day of employment as a barista in Fairhaven. I am super-excited to start new adventures!

I pulled off a 4.0 gpa last quarter! Very proud of myself, yes I am! I thought the final for Family Law was going to kill me! And, the final prep for the Legal Interviewing & Investigating was rough, too. The third class was pretty fantastic: Law Office Procedures. Very informative!

I'm in the process of moving into a new domicile this week; very thrilled about that! Much closer to campus, and in a super-quiet neighborhood. And, good friends and good company, and lots of organic veggies growing in the backyard. What a treat!

And, I'm taking three legal classes this summer. I am a little panicked at the moment, simply because I'm still putting together my weekly calendars for the next 8 weeks. I have to have all of my ducks in a row when it comes to homework and classes and work. Without it, I can't see what's happening, and I'm liable to let stuff slide when it needs to be taken care of.

I'm one of those strange, strange people who absolutely requires a visual of my life. Without that visual to reference, I feel lost and overwhelmed. OCD much? Well, perhaps. I just might own that one.

The veggies have become DINOSAUR VEGGIES!!!!! I cannot believe how insane the plants are growing, seriously. The carrots are growing like crazy; the tomatoes are gargantuan, and if the zucchini doesn't stop growing it's going to take over the entire balcony. It's so dang full of life out there I am amazed the balcony doesn't collapse. Container gardening has been a hit so far! (Minus the radishes.) For my first adventure in radishes, I think I've learned quite a bit. We got one good stunner out of the three I attempted. So, less sun and less heat for those guys. I'll try again once I get settled into the new place.

And last but certainly not least, Parke and I went on a crazy spur-of-the-moment trip to Montana to visit the Montana LeClercqs. It was sooooooo fantastic. We're looking forward to going back at the end of August to help with the house. I'll be posting pictures as soon as I get some!

Here's to happy summers, and always being thankful for the Lord's Providence.

Conditional vs. Unconditional Love

2009-05-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think it's hard to accurately reflect upon love.

On the one hand, you have God saying that you must always practice unconditional love towards your fellow man:

-Matthew 5:43-48
43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[b] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

-Luke 6:30-36
30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

On the other hand, you also have God saying that you must obey His commandments, and one of those happens to be respecting yourself, His commandments, and His image in you:

-Corinthians 6:19
19 Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

I think, essentially, the last verse is of utmost importance when dealing with the issue of conditional vs. unconditional love.

Requiring certain things in a relationship is holding true to God's Word. It's about respecting yourself, respecting God's Word and His decree for how a Christian should lead their lives.

I'll be moving back to Alaska in August, I'm of mixed feelings about it. Sad that my journey here in Washington is coming to a close, but so incredibly grateful for what I have learned and experienced here, especially the last two and a half years.

I'll be posting more pictures of the container gardening experience, and other things in the next few months... then I'll be off to Alaska again sans garden. Hopefully I'll keep blogging and update things as I go....

God Guides Us Through Turbulent Times

The steps of the Godly are directed by God.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
PSALM 37:22 NLT

The Bible promises that God will guide you if you let Him. Your job, of course, is to let Him. But sometimes, you will be tempted to do otherwise. Sometimes, you’ll be tempted to go along with the crowd; other times, you’ll be tempted to do things your way, not God’s way. When you feel those temptations, resist them.

What will you allow to guide you through the coming day: your own desires (or, for that matter, the desires of your friends)? Or will you allow God to lead the way? The answer should be obvious. You should let God be your guide. When you entrust your life to Him completely and without reservation, God will give you the strength to meet any challenge, the courage to face any trial, and the wisdom to live in His righteousness. So trust Him today and seek His guidance. When you do, your next step will be the right one.

Are you serious about wanting God’s guidance to become a personal reality in your life? The first step is to tell God that you know you can’t manage your own life; that you need His help. ~Catherine Marshall

I believe that the Creator of this universe takes delight in turning the terrors and tragedies that come with living in this old, fallen domain of the devil and transforming them into something that strengthens our hope, tests our faith, and shows forth His glory. ~Al Green

God will prove to you how good and acceptable and perfect His will is when He’s got His hands on the steering wheel of your life. ~Stuart & Jill Briscoe

TODAY’S PRAYER
Dear Lord, You always stand ready to guide me. Let me accept Your guidance, today and every day of my life. Lead me, Father, so that my life can be a tribute to Your grace, to Your mercy, to Your love, and to Your Son. Amen

almost 15 days later, more pictures, more insights....

2009-05-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

I am grateful.

I am SO blessed. I truly believe this in my heart of hearts. I have seen His work, in my own doings, and how friends begin to come back to Him after a time apart. And I want to cry from the joy of it. The scripture that was instrumental in my turning towards God and facing Him (He whom I ran from for so many years!) has been high in my consciousness these past months.

Luke 22:31-32

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. [32] But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

The sacrifice of Christ, his ultimate sacrifice, that of giving of his own life, that you and I may be made pure in God's eyes made me begin to realize how much I was running from Him Most High.

That Christ so believed in God's everlasting love and grace, he would pray and KNOW that it was already ordained that Simon would TURN BACK.... it still gives me goose-bumps and tears spring to my eyes even now, two years later. Christ said, "and when you turn back", not, "if".

I truly believe this is why I still cry in church. That God never gave up on me, even though I'd given up on myself. I am so very grateful that He truly is the trampoline for my falls. The one I was always looking for, but afraid to trust existed.

You, too, can turn back! You just have to take a chance, and jump with both feet! Even if you are scared, I am here as proof that it IS possible! You will be given the greatest gift you'll ever receive: unconditional love, and unconditional joy.

I'll leave off with a few updated pictures of the container gardening project. We're now quite a few weeks in, and while the plants are not as high as what I see growing in the fields at Joe's Garden, I fully realize that the location we're in now doesn't get full southern exposure, much as I would wish it. I do what I can, with what I can.

These were taken the second day of May, 2009.

Finished carrot-transplant. This picture doesn't do them justice.

My hands are filthy, I have dirt crammed under my nails, and the sun is shining. This was, indeed, a good day.

bad picture of the wicking system used in the second tote as an experiment against the olla-system used in the first. I'll do a post regarding both in another week or so.

Peas - Pulling apart the egg crate-seed starter. EXCELLENT SYSTEM! I totally enjoyed this, and will be repeating it in the future!

Finished second tote. We've got peas, radishes, zucchini, and a tomato (cherry) in this one.

I'll be taking more pictures in the next day or so, and I'll hopefully remember to add them to this space so that more can see how things are going.

Praise God!

70° and super ☼... I'm loving it! (will edit later with more veggie pictures!)

2009-05-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

“But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].” (Hebrews 11:6)

a few things... Gardening pics, Exodus 4 and Matthew Henry's Commentary

2009-04-27T23:50:00.000-07:00

The Second Book of Moses: Called Exodus

4:1 And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The LORD hath not appeared unto thee.

4:2 And the LORD said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.

4:3 And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it.

4:4 And the LORD said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand:

4:5 That they may believe that the LORD God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath appeared unto thee.

4:6 And the LORD said furthermore unto him, Put now thine hand into thy bosom. And he put his hand into his bosom: and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow.

4:7 And he said, Put thine hand into thy bosom again. And he put his hand into his bosom again; and plucked it out of his bosom, and, behold, it was turned again as his other flesh.

4:8 And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe thee, neither hearken to the voice of the first sign, that they will believe the voice of the latter sign.

4:9 And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe also these two signs, neither hearken unto thy voice, that thou shalt take of the water of the river, and pour it upon the dry land: and the water which thou takest out of the river shall become blood upon the dry land.

4:10 And Moses said unto the LORD, O my LORD, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.

4:11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?

4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

4:13 And he said, O my LORD, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send.

4:14 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart.

4:15 And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do.

4:16 And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God.

4:17 And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do signs.

4:18 And Moses went and returned to Jethro his father in law, and said unto him, Let me go, I pray thee, and return unto my brethren which are in Egypt, and see whether they be yet alive. And Jethro said to Moses, Go in peace.

4:19 And the LORD said unto Moses in Midian, Go, return into Egypt: for all the men are dead which sought thy life.

4:20 And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took the rod of God in his hand.

4:21 And the LORD said unto Moses, When thou goest to return into Egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before Pharaoh, which I have put in thine hand: but I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go.

4:22 And thou shalt say unto Pharaoh, Thus saith the LORD, Israel is my son, even my firstborn:

4:23 And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn.

4:24 And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him.

4:25 Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me.

4:26 So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision.

4:27 And the LORD said to Aaron, Go into the wilderness to meet Moses. And he went, and met him in the mount of God, and kissed him.

4:28 And Moses told Aaron all the words of the LORD who had sent him, and all the signs which he had commanded him.

4:29 And Moses and Aaron went and gathered together all the elders of the children of Israel:

4:30 And Aaron spake all the words which the LORD had spoken unto Moses, and did the signs in the sight of the people.

4:31 And the people believed: and when they heard that the LORD had visited the children of Israel, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped.

Matthew Henry Complete Commentary
on the Whole Bible

Exodus 4

This chapter, I. Continues and concludes God's discourse with Moses at the bush concerning this great affair of bringing Israel out of Egypt. 1. Moses objects the people's unbelief (Exodus 4:1), and God answers that objection by giving him a power to work miracles, (1.) To turn his rod into a serpent, and then into a rod again, Exodus 4:2-5. (2.) To make his hand leprous, and then whole again, Exodus 4:6-8. (3.) To turn the water into blood, Exodus 4:9. 2. Moses objects his own slowness of speech (Exodus 4:10), and begs to be excused (Exodus 4:13); but God answers this objection, (1.) By promising him his presence, Exodus 4:11,12. (2.) By joining Aaron in commission with him, Exodus 4:14-16. (3.) By putting an honour upon the very staff in his hand, Exodus 4:17. II. It begins Moses's execution of his commission. 1. He obtains leave of his father-in-law to return into Egypt, Exodus 4:18. 2. He receives further instructions and encouragements from God, Exodus 4:19,21-23. 3. He hastens his departure, and takes his family with him, Exodus 4:20. 4. He meets with some difficulty in the way about the circumcising of his son, Exodus 4:24-26. 5. He has the satisfaction of meeting his brother Aaron, Exodus 4:27,28. 6. He produces his commission before the elders of Israel, to their great joy, Exodus 4:29-31. And thus the wheels were set a going towards that great deliverance.
The Objections of Moses Overruled. B. C. 1491.

1 And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The LORD hath not appeared unto thee. 2 And the LORD said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod. 3 And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it. 4 And the LORD said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take it by the tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand: 5 That they may believe that the LORD God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath appeared unto thee. 6 And the LORD said furthermore unto him, Put now thine hand into thy bosom. And he put his hand into his bosom: and when he took it out, behold, his hand was leprous as snow. 7 And he said, Put thine hand into thy bosom again. And he put his hand into his bosom again; and plucked it out of his bosom, and, behold, it was turned again as his other flesh. 8 And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe thee, neither hearken to the voice of the first sign, that they will believe the voice of the latter sign. 9 And it shall come to pass, if they will not believe also these two signs, neither hearken unto thy voice, that thou shalt take of the water of the river, and pour it upon the dry land: and the water which thou takest out of the river shall become blood upon the dry land.

It was a very great honour that Moses was called to when God commissioned him to bring Israel out of Egypt; yet he is with difficulty persuaded to accept the commission, and does it at last with great reluctance, which we should rather impute to a humble diffidence of himself and his own sufficiency than to any unbelieving distrust of God and his word and power. Note, Those whom God designs for preferment he clothes with humility; the most fit for service are the least forward.

I. Moses objects that in all probability the people would not hearken to his voice (Exodus 4:1), that is, they would not take his bare word, unless he showed them some sign, which he had not been yet instructed to do. This objection cannot be justified, because it contradicts what God had said (Exodus 3:18), They shall hearken to thy voice. If God says, They will, does it become Moses to say, They will not? Surely he means, "Perhaps they will not at first, or some of them will not." If there should be some gainsayers among them who would question his commission, how should he deal with them? And what course should he take to convince them? He remembered how they had once rejected him, and feared it would be so again. Note, 1. Present discouragements often arise from former disappointments. 2. Wise and good men have sometimes a worse opinion of people than they deserve. Moses sad (Exodus 4:1), They will not believe me; and yet he was happily mistaken, for it is said (Exodus 4:31), The people believed; but then the signs which God appointed in answer to this objection were first wrought in their sight.

II. God empowers him to work miracles, directs him to three particularly, two of which were now immediately wrought for his own satisfaction. Note, True miracles are the most convincing external proofs of a divine mission attested by them. Therefore our Saviour often appealed to his works (as John 5:36), and Nicodemus owns himself convinced by them, John 3:2. And here Moses, having a special commission given him as a judge and lawgiver to Israel, has this seal affixed to his commission, and comes supported by these credentials.

1. The rod in his hand is made the subject of a miracle, a double miracle: it is but thrown out of his hand and it becomes a serpent; he resumes it and it becomes a rod again, Exodus 4:2-4. Now, (1.) Here was a divine power manifested in the change itself, that a dry stick should be turned into a living serpent, a lively one, so formidable a one that Moses himself, on whom, it should seem, it turned in some threatening manner, fled from before it, though we may suppose, in that desert, serpents were no strange things to him; but what was produced miraculously was always the best and strongest of the kind, as the water turned to wine: and, then, that this living serpent should be turned into a dry stick again, this was the Lord's doing. (2.) Here was an honour put upon Moses, that this change was wrought upon his throwing it down and taking it up, without any spell, or charm, or incantation: his being empowered thus to act under God, out of the common course of nature and providence, was a demonstration of his authority, under God, to settle a new dispensation of the kingdom of grace. We cannot imagine that the God of truth would delegate such a power as this to an impostor. (3.) There was a significancy in the miracle itself. Pharaoh had turned the rod of Israel into a serpent, representing them as dangerous (Exodus 1:10), causing their belly to cleave to the dust, and seeking their ruin; but now they should be turned into a rod again: or, thus Pharaoh had turned the rod of government into the serpent of oppression, from which Moses had himself fled into Midian; but by the agency of Moses the scene was altered again. (4.) There was a direct tendency in it to convince the children of Israel that Moses was indeed sent of God to do what he did, Exodus 4:5. Miracles were for signs to those that believed not, 1 Corinthians 14:22.

2. His hand itself is next made the subject of a miracle. He puts it once into his bosom, and takes it out leprous; he puts it again into the same place, and takes it out well, Exodus 4:6,7. This signified, (1.) That Moses, by the power of God, should bring sore diseases upon Egypt, and that, at his prayer, they should be removed. (2.) That whereas the Israelites in Egypt had become leprous, polluted by sin, and almost consumed by oppression (a leper is as one dead, Numbers 12:12), by being taken into the bosom of Moses they should be cleansed and cured, and have all their grievances redressed. (3.) That Moses was not to work miracles by his own power, nor for his own praise, but by the power of God and for his glory; the leprous hand of Moses does forever exclude boasting. Now it was supposed that, if the former sign did not convince, this latter would. Note, God is willing more abundantly to show the truth of his word, and is not sparing in his proofs; the multitude and variety of the miracles corroborate the evidence.

3. He is directed, when he shall come to Egypt, to turn some of the water of the river into blood, Exodus 4:9. This was done, at first, as a sign, but, not gaining due credit with Pharaoh, the whole river was afterwards turned into blood, and then it became a plague. He is ordered to work this miracle in case they would not be convinced by the other two. Note, Unbelief shall be left inexcusable, and convicted of a wilful obstinacy. As to the people of Israel, God had said (Exodus 3:18), They shall hearken; yet he appoints these miracles to be wrought for their conviction, for he that has ordained the end has ordained the means.

10 And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. 11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD? 12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say. 13 And he said, O my Lord, send, I pray thee, by the hand of him whom thou wilt send. 14 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses, and he said, Is not Aaron the Levite thy brother? I know that he can speak well. And also, behold, he cometh forth to meet thee: and when he seeth thee, he will be glad in his heart. 15 And thou shalt speak unto him, and put words in his mouth: and I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth, and will teach you what ye shall do. 16 And he shall be thy spokesman unto the people: and he shall be, even he shall be to thee instead of a mouth, and thou shalt be to him instead of God. 17 And thou shalt take this rod in thine hand, wherewith thou shalt do signs.

Moses still continues backward to the service for which God had designed him, even to a fault; for now we can no longer impute it to his humility and modesty, but must own that here was too much of cowardice, slothfulness, and unbelief in it. Observe here,

I. How Moses endeavours to excuse himself from the work.

1. He pleads that he was no good spokesman: O my Lord! I am not eloquent, Exodus 4:10. He was a great philosopher, statesman, and divine, and yet no orator; a man of a clear head, great thought, and solid judgment, but had not a voluble tongue, or ready utterance, and therefore he thought himself unfit to speak before great men about great affairs, and in danger of being run down by the Egyptians. Observe, (1.) We must not judge of men by the readiness and fluency of their discourse. Moses was mighty in word (Acts 7:22), and yet not eloquent: what he said was strong and nervous, and to the purpose, and distilled as the dew (Deuteronomy 32:2), though he did not deliver himself with that readiness, ease, and elegance, that some do, who have not the tenth part of his sense. St. Paul's speech was contemptible, 2 Corinthians 10:10. A great deal of wisdom and true worth is concealed by a slow tongue. (2.) God is pleased sometimes to make choice of those as his messengers who have fewest of the advantages of art or nature, that his grace in them may appear the more glorious. Christ's disciples were no orators, till the Spirit made them such.

2. When this plea was overruled, and all his excuses were answered, he begged that God would send somebody else on this errand and leave him to keep sheep in Midian (Exodus 4:13): "Send by any hand but mine; thou canst certainly find one much more fit." Note, An unwilling mind will take up with a sorry excuse rather than none, and is willing to devolve those services upon others that have any thing of difficulty or danger in them.

II. How God condescends to answer all his excuses. Though the anger of the Lord was kindled against him (Exodus 4:14), yet he continued to reason with him, till he had overcome him. Note, Even self-diffidence, when it grows into an extreme--when it either hinders us from duty or clogs us in duty, or when it discourages our dependence upon the grace of God--is very displeasing to him. God justly resents our backwardness to serve him, and has reason to take it ill; for he is such a benefactor as is before-hand with us, and such a rewarder as will not be behind-hand with us. Note further, God is justly displeased with those whom yet he does not reject: he vouchsafes to reason the case even with his froward children, and overcomes them, as he did Moses here, with grace and kindness.

1. To balance the weakness of Moses, he here reminds him of his own power, Exodus 4:11. (1.) His power in that concerning which Moses made the objection: Who has made man's mouth? Have not I the Lord? Moses knew that God made man, but he must be reminded now that God made man's mouth. An eye to God as Creator would help us over a great many of the difficulties which lie in the way of our duty, Psalms 124:8. God, as the author of nature, has given us the power and faculty of speaking; and from him, as the fountain of gifts and graces, comes the faculty of speaking well, the mouth and wisdom (Luke 21:15), the tongue of the learned (Isaiah 50:4); he pours grace into the lips, Psalms 45:2. (2.) His power in general over the other faculties. Who but God makes the dumb and the deaf, the seeing and the blind? [1.] The perfections of our faculties are his work, he makes the seeing; he formed the eye (Psalms 94:9); he opens the understanding, the eye of the mind, Luke 24:45. [2.] Their imperfections are from him too; he make the dumb, and deaf, and blind. Is there any evil of this kind, and the Lord has not done it? No doubt he has, and always in wisdom and righteousness, and for his own glory, John 9:3. Pharaoh and the Egyptians were made deaf and blind spiritually, as Isaiah 6:9,10. But God knew how to manage them, and get himself honour upon them.

2. To encourage him in this great undertaking, he repeats the promise of his presence, not only in general, I will be with thee (Exodus 3:12), but in particular, "I will be with thy mouth, so that the imperfection in thy speech shall be no prejudice to thy message." It does not appear that God did immediately remove the infirmity, whatever it was; but he did that which was equivalent, he taught him what to say, and then let the matter recommend itself: if others spoke more gracefully, none spoke more powerfully. Note, Those whom God employs to speak for him ought to depend upon him for instructions, and it shall be given them what they shall speak, Matthew 10:19.

3. He joins Aaron in commission with him. He promises that Aaron shall meet him opportunely, and that he will be glad to see him, they having not seen one another (it is likely) for many years, Exodus 4:14. He directs him to make use of Aaron as his spokesman, Exodus 4:16. God might have laid Moses wholly aside, for his backwardness to be employed; but he considered his frame, and ordered him an assistant. Observe, (1.) Two are better than one, Ecclesiastes 4:9. God will have his two witnesses (Revelation 11:3), that out of their mouths every word may be established. (2.) Aaron was the brother of Moses, divine wisdom so ordering it, that their natural affection one to another might strengthen their union in the joint execution of their commission. Christ sent his disciples two and two, and some of the couples were brothers. (3.) Aaron was the elder brother, and yet he was willing to be employed under Moses in this affair, because God would have it so. (4.) Aaron could speak well, and yet was far inferior to Moses in wisdom. God dispenses his gifts variously to the children of men, that we may see our need one of another, and each may contribute something to the good of the body, 1 Corinthians 12:21. The tongue of Aaron, with the head and heart of Moses, would make one completely fit for this embassy. (5.) God promises, I will be with thy mouth, and with his mouth. Even Aaron, that could speak well, yet could not speak to purpose unless God was with his mouth; without the constant aids of divine grace the best gifts will fail.

4. He bids him take the rod with him in his hand (Exodus 4:17), to intimate that he must bring about his undertaking rather by acting than by speaking; the signs he should work with this rod might abundantly supply the want of eloquence; one miracle would do him better service than all the rhetoric in the world. Take this rod, the rod he carried as a shepherd, that he might not be ashamed of that mean condition out of which God called him. This rod must be his staff of authority, and must be to him in stead both of sword and sceptre.
Moses Returns in Egypt. B. C. 1491.

18 And Moses went and returned to Jethro his father in law, and said unto him, Let me go, I pray thee, and return unto my brethren which are in Egypt, and see whether they be yet alive. And Jethro said to Moses, Go in peace. 19 And the LORD said unto Moses in Midian, Go, return into Egypt: for all the men are dead which sought thy life. 20 And Moses took his wife and his sons, and set them upon an ass, and he returned to the land of Egypt: and Moses took the rod of God in his hand. 21 And the LORD said unto Moses, When thou goest to return into Egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before Pharaoh, which I have put in thine hand: but I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go. 22 And thou shalt say unto Pharaoh, Thus saith the LORD, Israel is my son, even my firstborn: 23 And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn.

Here, I. Moses obtains leave of his father-in-law to return into Egypt, Exodus 4:18. His father-in-law had been kind to him when he was a stranger, and therefore he would not be so uncivil as to leave his family, nor so unjust as to leave his service, without giving him notice. Note, The honour of being admitted into communion with God, and of being employed for him, does not exempt us from the duties of our relations and callings in this world. Moses said nothing to his father-in-law (for aught that appears) of the glorious manifestation of God to him; such favours we are to be thankful for to God, but not to boast of before men.

II. He receives from God further encouragements and directions in his work. After God had appeared to him in the bush to settle a correspondence, it should seem, he often spoke to him, as there was occasion, with less overwhelming solemnity. And, 1. He assures Moses that the coasts were clear. Whatever new enemies he might make by his undertaking, his old enemies were all dead, all that sought his life, Exodus 4:19. Perhaps some secret fear of falling into their hands was at the bottom of Moses's backwardness to go to Egypt, though he was not willing to own it, but pleaded unworthiness, insufficiency, want of elocution, &c. Note, God knows all the temptations his people lie under, and how to arm them against their secret fears, Psalms 142:3. 2. He orders him to do the miracles, not only before the elders of Israel, but before Pharaoh, Exodus 4:21. There were some alive perhaps in the court of Pharaoh who remembered Moses when he was the son of Pharaoh's daughter, and had many a time called him a fool for deserting the honours of that relation; but he is now sent back to court, clad with greater powers than Pharaoh's daughter could have advanced him to, so that it might appear he was no loser by his choice: this wonder-working rod did more adorn the hand of Moses than the sceptre of Egypt could have done. Note, Those that look with contempt upon worldly honours shall be recompensed with the honour that cometh from God, which is the true honour. 3. That Pharaoh's obstinacy might be no surprise nor discouragement to him, God tells him before that he would harden his heart. Pharaoh had hardened his own heart against the groans and cries of the oppressed Israelites, and shut up the bowels of his compassion from them; and now God, in a way of righteous judgment, hardens his heart against the conviction of the miracles, and the terror of the plagues. Note, Ministers must expect with many to labour in vain: we must not think it strange if we meet with those who will not be wrought upon by the strongest arguments and fairest reasonings; yet our judgment is with the Lord. 4. Words are put into his mouth with which to address Pharaoh, Exodus 4:22,23. God had promised him (Exodus 4:12), I will teach thee what thou shalt say; and here he does teach him. (1.) He must deliver his message in the name of the great Jehovah: Thus saith the Lord; this is the first time that preface is used by any man which afterwards is used so frequently by all the prophets: whether Pharaoh will hear, or whether he will forbear, Moses must tell him, Thus saith the Lord. (2.) He must let Pharaoh know Israel's relation to God, and God's concern for Israel. Is Israel a servant? is he a home-born slave? Jeremiah 2:14. "No, Israel is my son, my firstborn, precious in my sight, honourable, and dear to me, not to be thus insulted and abused." (3.) He must demand a discharge for them: "Let my son go; not only my servant whom thou hast no right to detain, but my son whose liberty and honour I am very jealous for. It is my son, my son that serves me, and therefore must be spared, must be pleaded for," Malachi 3:17. (4.) He must threaten Pharaoh with the death of the first-born of Egypt, in case of a refusal: I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn. As men deal with God's people, let them expect to be themselves dealt with; with the froward he will wrestle.

III. Moses addresses himself to this expedition. When God had assured him (Exodus 4:19) that the men were dead who sought his life, immediately it follows (Exodus 4:20), he took his wife, and his sons, and set out for Egypt. Note, Though corruption may object much against the services God calls us to, yet grace will get the upper hand, and will be obedient to the heavenly vision.
The Circumcision of the Son of Moses. B. C. 1491.

24 And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the LORD met him, and sought to kill him. 25 Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, Surely a bloody husband art thou to me. 26 So he let him go: then she said, A bloody husband thou art, because of the circumcision. 27 And the LORD said to Aaron, Go into the wilderness to meet Moses. And he went, and met him in the mount of God, and kissed him. 28 And Moses told Aaron all the words of the LORD who had sent him, and all the signs which he had commanded him. 29 And Moses and Aaron went and gathered together all the elders of the children of Israel: 30 And Aaron spake all the words which the LORD had spoken unto Moses, and did the signs in the sight of the people. 31 And the people believed: and when they heard that the LORD had visited the children of Israel, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped.

Moses is here going to Egypt, and we are told,

I. How God met him in anger, Exodus 4:24-26. This is a very difficult passage of story; much has been written, and excellently written, to make it intelligible; we will try to make it improving. Here is,

1. The sin of Moses, which was neglecting to circumcise his son. This was probably the effect of his being unequally yoked with a Midianite, who was too indulgent of her child, while Moses was too indulgent of her. Note, (1.) We have need to watch carefully over our own hearts, lest fondness for any relation prevail above our love to God, and take us off from our duty to him. It is charged upon Eli that he honoured his sons more than God (1 Samuel 2:29); and see Matthew 10:37. (2.) Even good men are apt to cool in their zeal for God and duty when they have long been deprived of the society of the faithful: solitude has its advantages, but they seldom counterbalance the loss of Christian communion.

2. God's displeasure against him. He met him, and, probably by a sword in an angel's hand, sought to kill him. This was a great change; very lately God was conversing with him, and lodging a trust in him, as a friend; and now he is coming forth against him as an enemy. Note, (1.) Omissions are sins, and must come into judgment, and particularly the contempt and neglect of the seals of the covenant; for it is a sign that we undervalue the promises of the covenant, and are displeased with the conditions of it. He that has made a bargain, and is not willing to seal and ratify it, one may justly suspect, neither likes it nor designs to stand to it. (2.) God takes notice of, and is much displeased with, the sins of his own people. If they neglect their duty, let them expect to hear of it by their consciences, and perhaps to feel from it by cross providences: for this cause many are sick and weak, as some think Moses was here.

3. The speedy performance of the duty for the neglect of which God had now a controversy with him. His son must be circumcised; Moses is unable to circumcise him; therefore, in this case of necessity, Zipporah does it, whether with passionate words (expressing her dislike of the ordinance itself, or at least the administration of it to so young a child, and in a journey), as to me it seems, or with proper words--solemnly expressing the espousal of the child to God by the covenant of circumcision (as some read it) or her thankfulness to God for sparing her husband, giving him a new life, and thereby giving her, as it were, a new marriage to him, upon her circumcising her son (as others read it)--I cannot determine: but we learn, (1.) That when God discovers to us what is amiss in our lives we must give all diligence to amend it speedily, and particularly return to the duties we have neglected. (2.) The putting away of our sins is indispensably necessary to the removal of God's judgements. This is the voice of every rod, it calls to us to return to him that smites us.

4. The release of Moses thereupon: So he let him go; the distemper went off, the destroying angel withdrew, and all was well: only Zipporah cannot forget the fright she was in, but will unreasonably call Moses a bloody husband, because he obliged her to circumcise the child; and, upon this occasion (it is probable), he sent them back to his father-in-law, that they might not create him any further uneasiness. Note, (1.) When we return to God in a way of duty he will return to us in a way of mercy; take away the cause, and the effect will cease. (2.) We must resolve to bear it patiently, if our zeal for God and his institutions be misinterpreted and discouraged by some that should understand themselves, and us, and their duty, better, as David's zeal was misinterpreted by Michal; but if this be to be vile, if this be to be bloody, we must be yet more so. (3.) When we have any special service to do for God we should remove as far from us as we can that which is likely to be our hindrance. Let the dead bury their dead, but follow thou me.

II. How Aaron met him in love, Exodus 4:27,28. 1. God sent Aaron to meet him, and directed him where to find him, in the wilderness that lay towards Midian. Note, The providence of God is to be acknowledged in the comfortable meeting of relations and friends. 2. Aaron made so much haste, in obedience to his God, and in love to his brother, that he met him in the mount of God, the place where God had met with him. 3. They embraced one another with mutual endearments. The more they saw of God's immediate direction in bringing them together the more pleasant their interview was: they kissed, not only in token of brotherly affection, and in remembrance of ancient acquaintance, but as a pledge of their hearty concurrence in the work to which they were jointly called. 4. Moses informed his brother of the commission he had received, with all the instructions and credentials affixed to it, Exodus 4:28. Note, What we know of God we should communicate for the benefit of others; and those that are fellow-servants to God in the same work should use a mutual freedom, and endeavour rightly and fully to understand one another.

III. How the elders of Israel met him in faith and obedience. When Moses and Aaron first opened their commission in Egypt, said what they were ordered to say, and, to confirm it, did what they were ordered to do, they met with a better reception than they promised themselves, Exodus 4:29-31. 1. The Israelites gave credit to them: The people believed, as God had foretold (Exodus 3:18), knowing that no man could do those works that they did, unless God were with him. They gave glory to God: They bowed their heads and worshipped, therein expressing not only their humble thankfulness to God, who had raised them up and sent them a deliverer, but also their cheerful readiness to observe orders, and pursue the methods of their deliverance.
Copyright Statement
These files are public domain and are a derivative of an electronic edition that is available on the Christian Classics Ethereal Library Website.

Bibliography Information
Henry, Matthew. "Complete Commentary on Exodus 4". "Matthew Henry Complete Commentary
on the Whole Bible". . 1706.

Greens, Greens, Greens....

2009-04-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'll be posting pictures very soon of the seedlings I've got going. Unfortunately I think I'm not going to get any bells unless I get a cloche going a.s.a.p. The peppers that are growing in the greenhouse at Joe's Garden are envy-inspiring. Parke and I went to Joe's last weekend and walked through the greenhouses. The first deep breath upon entering the greenhouses filled me with an unspeakable joy. The smell! Ah the sweet, sweet smell!

I told Parke, you're looking at our future. He just smiled, and said, let's start small first.

Ah spring is in the air and I'm excited excited excited!

Humility... one of God's Lessons

2009-04-06T15:20:00.000-07:00

The following came to my email inbox this morning. It couldn't have come at a more opportune time!

Humility

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." ~Col. 3:12

Very recently, God sent me back into the workforce. One of many things He said to me beforehand was "Humility." What I sensed that meant for me was that He purposed this job assignment to do a work of humility in me and that humility would be a key for survival. Whoa, was He right!

Divine humility is the opposite of pride. It is confidence in God, not self. It is unpretentiousness at its finest. It was the walk of Jesus, and it can be ours if we choose it or, as in my case, thrust into it.

Contrary to some beliefs, true humility is not passive, pathetic or weak. Rather, it is divinely powerful. It does not pause at or placate to foolishness. Rather, it ushers in unity. It does not damage us or grieve the Holy Spirit. Rather, it honors God, and God, in turn, honors us when we exercise it according to His plan (Prov. 15:33). Like truth, humility is a swift and divine weapon of righteousness, unity, love and wisdom that we can choose to wield.

Many of us understand that we are to humble ourselves before the Lord. But what about choosing humility in the face of false accusers, persecutors, people who intend to harm us? People who compete with us? People who react out of fear and insecurity? The ones the enemy uses to separate believers and thwart divine plans. The ones God uses to test us? Jesus chose humility. His example was an important demonstration for us, a divine strategy, an assignment from The Father.

Surely, as He painfully hung on the cross with undeserved insults hurled at Him, His flesh and His heart ached for relief. But He knew He was on a high mission to save a world of people for generations. He knew His role of obedience and love, of priority, of divine purpose. He knew divine truth in the face of ignorance. He knew His Father and the humbling power of His love and mercy, and He was obedient to the call, even though it opposed man's limited understanding.

Jesus did not fall to the enemy's devices. He needed no man's approval, only His Father's. He trusted in His Father's plan. He understood that humbling Himself unto the Father also meant responding with humility to man (Titus 3:2). He knew that God's grace would sufficiently carry Him through the mission and that His divine purpose would be fulfilled regardless of man's actions. Indeed, God was in control.

It is difficult to provoke a truly humble person into a dispute because they will lean into God's powerful love, peace and mercy when attacked, just like Jesus. Simply put: Humble people do not react to other people's issues. They are not controlled by them. They respond in the Spirit because they do not feel the need to prove their worth to others. They know their security and identity rests in Christ, even if others do not. They are committed to the Lord's ways, and they are purposed. They are too dedicated in seeking the Lord's righteousness and humility to give way to futile, self-exalting spats. They hold onto God's power like a lifeline, and they are not willing to foolishly let it go.

You will know humble people by the fruit they bear and the mercy, peace and sincerity they exhibit (James 3:13-18). This is because God can work His virtues through a humble person, whereas, with a prideful person, this cannot be. Rather, selfishness rules, leaving little space for God to operate. When we choose selfishness, we get what we choose: Our limitations.

Conversely, the humble journey is a true adventure. There is great freedom and excitement in soaring with our trustworthy God. Yielded to Him, He will take us higher than we can venture on our own or even imagine. Yielded to Him, we receive His supernatural power, favor, rewards, strength, provision, love, grace, mercy and strategies to complete divinely-appointed assignments that are larger than we. Is there any greater thrill?

Who among us couldn't use more divine humility? I am challenged daily to respond to circumstances like Jesus, in His strength, His power and His love. It is a process, a lifestyle, a series of moment-by-moment choices, a walk. If you would like to break out of the prison of limitation, repent and take hold of the Lord's hand. Choose to trust Him. Soar with Him. And prepare to be awed like never before!

Here's to the end of an era....

2009-03-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, not really. But I am feeling a little bit dramatic right now. I finished a twelve hour shift today at the coffee shop (because I was a ninny and didn't check my schedule before I over-committed myself with two fellow employees!!!! argh!), my feet feel like they're about to fall right off, and I remember looking at the clock every hour or so the entire night last night. I'm obviously feeling sorry for myself right now! (haha) Actually, I'm just bone, bone tired. Second night in a row of not sleeping, and it's dragging on me. I need to pray. I haven't done that in awhile; I mean really, REALLY pray. Mouthing platitudes and saying grace at dinner are not the same.

I'm thankful as all get-out that this last quarter is over. It amazes me how I always tackle insane schedules, and yet usually come out smelling like roses. Of course, my body doesn't feel like it's a perfect spring flower right now, and I think I need to wake up and realize that I am, wholeheartedly, NOT in my early twenties anymore. It's funny, I realized today that in a few short months I will be thirty-two. Wow, when did THAT happen?? I really do remember turning thirty just the other day. At least, it feels like that. I remember the days in California when I was very very young seeming to just go so slowly, you could easily pick out this and that happening, like dust motes easily seen on a sunny day. But now, it seems as if life is FLYING by, like that ridiculous and slightly nauseating star-field screen saver on the computer. Sometimes, I feel dizzy just from the pace of things. Feeling dizzy from the pace of life means one thing: Time To Get On The Farm.

Speaking of "farm".... I started our first sets of onions, chives, bells, and lettuce a week or so ago. Maybe it was two weeks ago. I easily lose track, now. I'd have to go upstairs and look at the date written on them.
Anyways, I'm pleased as peas! The romaine and butterhead are going like gangbusters, and it's almost time for me to get them into their own space so they can start spreading their wings and root in somethin' fierce.

The other day Parke and I were driving back from Seattle (moving for him! eep) and I couldn't help this overwhelming feeling of needing to get my hands in the dirt. I watched all the hawks and the fields that we passed, and I commented to him that I absolutely cannot wait until we have a place where we can finally begin to hear the rhythm and timing of the land and get to know the animals that share that space. I know, I know, I sound like some goofball hippy. Well, I'm serious though. God gave us this earth to cherish and STEWARD, not to abuse and pass over. I don't know exactly where I got this deep urge to start planting and putting roots and reconnecting, but I know it started happening about five years ago when I began to realize the dire straits our country was headed towards. I've had friends laugh at me for my doom and gloom predictions, but my study of history has given me a very deep belief that the world we live in will not last beyond ten more years. I used to think about twenty, but things recently have begun to accelerate far faster than I had expected, and I have this overwhelming voice-in-the-back-of-my-heart urging me faster and faster, to get done and get land and get to growing. It first showed up in 2004, and it's only grown louder and louder.

Anyways, I need to end this jibber jabber and hit the hay. First day at my internship tomorrow! Need to rest up and be ready ready ready!

Stalin, Obama, and incompetent snow-drivers....

2009-02-26T08:29:00.000-08:00

“Everyone agrees that all Americans deserve access to affordable health care,” Mr. Boehner said in a statement, “but is increasing taxes during an economic recession, especially on small businesses, the right way to accomplish that goal?”

Sadly, the answer is NO. No once, No twice, ALWAYS NO.
This reminds me of what happened when Stalin came into power and instituted the "Great Terror" in the late 1930s. He destroyed the vitality of the Russian people by stifling the innovation and ability to adapt. He did this, via murder and expatriation, but it really comes down to the same thing. When you take away someone's freedom to do some thing, regardless of what that thing is, you take away their ability to adapt, and to innovate. People who cannot adapt, die. They stagnate. They cannot change, they cannot INVENT, they cannot be FREE.

Anyways, that's my thought for the day. And, this too: If there's four inches of snow on the ground, it doesn't mean the school system should SHUT DOWN for an extra two hours while people who should know how to drive in snow by now, can mosey on in to work. Can you tell I'm frustrated? Seriously. *sigh*

Tavener's Svyati: O Holy One, and Oswald Chambers

2009-02-22T23:35:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to a cellist, Steven Isserlist, play the above song, and it's haunting, and stirring, and all of those things that music should be. I really, really like the cello.

Evocative.

This also accurately describes the past two days' readings from Oswald Chambers' "My utmost for His highest".

The first, Feb 21:

If what we call love doesn’t take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love.

Have you ever been driven to do something for God not because you felt that it was useful or your duty to do so, or that there was anything in it for you, but simply because you love Him? Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him? I’m not referring to works which could be regarded as divine and miraculous, but ordinary, simple human things— things which would be evidence to God that you are totally surrendered to Him. Have you ever created what Mary of Bethany created in the heart of the Lord Jesus? "She has done a good work for Me."

There are times when it seems as if God watches to see if we will give Him even small gifts of surrender, just to show how genuine our love is for Him. To be surrendered to God is of more value than our personal holiness. Concern over our personal holiness causes us to focus our eyes on ourselves, and we become overly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, out of fear of offending God. ". . . but perfect love casts out fear . . ." once we are surrendered to God ( 1 John 4:18 ). We should quit asking ourselves, "Am I of any use?" and accept the truth that we really are not of much use to Him. The issue is never of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time.

The second, Feb 22:

Be still, and know that I am God . . . —Psalm 46:10

Perseverance is more than endurance. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance means more than just hanging on, which may be only exposing our fear of letting go and falling. Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. Our greatest fear is not that we will be damned, but that somehow Jesus Christ will be defeated. Also, our fear is that the very things our Lord stood for— love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness among men— will not win out in the end and will represent an unattainable goal for us. Then there is the call to spiritual perseverance. A call not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated.

If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God. But one of the greatest stresses in life is the stress of waiting for God. He brings fulfillment, "because you have kept My command to persevere . . ." ( Revelation 3:10 ).
Continue to persevere spiritually.

These readings really made an impact upon me, and it always startles me when I see something in print and it takes my breath away and I feel sucker-punched. Not painful, so much as, breathless. Without breath.

Seeing the words, "Be still, and know that I am God" really, REALLY does that to me. I have words tattooed on my wrists (yes, I have tattoos from before I was baptized) that read, Just Breathe, Let It Go. I've always struggled with being able to breathe, to not white-knuckle life. All of life. Every little facet. I have, a few times in my short life thus far, been able to breathe, and let go. To open the hands and let go.

Seeing the words, "Be still, and know that I am God" brings to mind a panicked mare, skittish, unwilling to trust, and having a skilled handler shush her, whisper the right words, and with gentle hands, bring her back down to a state of calm and focused awareness.

There is so much more that I want to say here, but I'm running on an empty tank and I've got work early in the morning. Perhaps I'll find the inspiration to finish these thoughts tomorrow. But honestly, I doubt it. Midterms, and projects, and the like.

p.s. planting starts soon.

Oswald Chambers...truly a blessed soul to pass on insight and strength

2009-02-05T16:21:00.000-08:00

Put Trust in God First.

Our Lord never put His trust in any person. Yet He was never suspicious, never bitter, and never lost hope for anyone, because He put His trust in God first. He trusted absolutely in what God’s grace could do for others. If I put my trust in human beings first, the end result will be my despair and hopelessness toward everyone. I will become bitter because I have insisted that people be what no person can ever be— absolutely perfect and right. Never trust anything in yourself or in anyone else, except the grace of God.

Put God’s Will First.

"Behold, I have come to do Your will, O God" (Hebrews 10:9).

A person’s obedience is to what he sees to be a need— our Lord’s obedience was to the will of His Father. The rallying cry today is, "We must get to work! The heathen are dying without God. We must go and tell them about Him." But we must first make sure that God’s "needs" and His will in us personally are being met. Jesus said, ". . . tarry . . . until you are endued with power from on high" ( Luke 24:49 ). The purpose of our Christian training is to get us into the right relationship to the "needs" of God and His will. Once God’s "needs" in us have been met, He will open the way for us to accomplish His will, meeting His "needs" elsewhere.

Put God’s Son First.

"Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me" ( Matthew 18:5 ).

God came as a baby, giving and entrusting Himself to me. He expects my personal life to be a "Bethlehem." Am I allowing my natural life to be slowly transformed by the indwelling life of the Son of God? God’s ultimate purpose is that His Son might be exhibited in me.

The Value of Prayer

2009-01-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

I have a lot on my plate right now, as do most people with lives. I can't talk about all of it, I've got two more case files to read through in order to be "on top of things". The first example of case law I had to read tonight was fifty-nine pages of legalese. Whew. Good thing I find this interesting.

I wanted to post real quick though, regarding how powerful prayer truly is. In my own life, and most especially these past two years, my prayers have been answered in many ways, and each time it is always for the best.

The past days in this new year have been full of prayer, for a dear friend who finally had her newest son, and for others experiencing a dark patch in their lives. Prayer is truly powerful! I challenge anyone to thirty days of daily, mindful, honest conversation with God. I truly believe that at the end of those thirty days, you will truly feel a deeper connection to Him Most High.

God's Word, Matthew Henry, Thomas Jefferson, Wendell Berry, et al.

2008-12-09T09:17:00.001-08:00

The title reflects where I've been these past few days. I have no (or very little) motivation towards finishing these last few days of the quarter. I really would love nothing better than to curl up with the above and read and snuggle in my big bed. However, I am not completely irresponsible. I have been going to work, I have been tutoring, I have been working on revisions and such for the final portfolio due Thursday. Tonight, I'm skipping my tutoring session in favor of a study session in Sumas, (boonies!) for my math class. If I can pull off this quarter, I can pull off anything. I'm feeling rather ragged, but the end is in sight: Thursday at 5pm, I am done with this edition.

I'm reading Exodus right now, well, P and I are, each on our own and then talking about what we've read the following evening. Having Matthew Henry's Commentary is beneficial, and enlightening. I've been taking notes, and as always, marking in my books. I can't seem to stop myself, and I find that I absolutely love it, making God's Word a more real experience, a growing and evolving relationship. I used to believe that the Bible was to be kept sparkling clean. But one day, sitting in service, I looked to my left, and this young man had his Bible marked up, sticky-noted, and the overwhelming feeling I got from seeing that was: "Oh wow. He really reads his Bible."

Think about that for a minute. He really reads his Bible.

Wendell Berry, in an interview in July of 2008 (The Sun), states that "[r]eal reading, of course, is a kind of work. But it's lovely work. To read well, you have to respond actively to what the writer's saying. You can't just lie there on the couch and let it pour over you. You may have to read with a pencil in hand and underline passages and write notes in the margins. The poet John Milton understood that the best readers are rare. He prayed that he might 'a fit audience find, though few'".

I feel very strongly now, that I am finally READING my Bible. Establishing a deeper connection with God's Word, and listening to His Voice with more open ears. I honestly suggest it to anyone who does not currently mark up their Bible.

And, I have one last announcement, and prayer request. Several of my friends are pregnant, or have just had their babies, and I would ask that each of you please say a prayer of thanksgiving and for protection for these new lives. They are each and every one a blessing, and deserve the very best that God has for them. Also, two good friends of mine are having a spot of marital discord. I would ask that you pray for them, as well. I am of course not mentioning names, but I fully believe that God's on top of it all, and obviously knows who you're talking about. And finally, a wonderful person who comes to my coffee shop with his wonderful little dog is having open heart surgery on the 16th. Please pray that he has a safe and uneventful experience, and that he heals as God sees fit.

Thank you all! And have a wonderful God-Inspired Day!!!!!

Living Fearlessly...

2008-12-04T10:52:00.000-08:00

This morning, in my email inbox, this little gem (!) was waiting for me. Granted, I didn't have time until almost eleven to take a peek, but I'm so very glad that I did. Some choice words that really struck me this morning:

"So the banks were fine after all. Just a little blip. Phew. But then something bigger hit me, much more troublesome. For one, I was ashamed how quickly I allowed myself to get freaked out over my own over-active imagination (though in this economic climate, it wasn’t that far-fetched to imagine!). For two—and this was the biggie—I realized that never in my worry had I prayed or sought God’s counsel or comfort. I ultimately found relief in my Blackberry.
This wasn’t the first time this sort of thing had happened. While I’m not necessarily a worrywart, I do have a tendency to let stress take hold, to let my mind go to the most extreme scenarios, and then, worst of all, to forget that indeed God is Lord of all. And that that same God—who is Lord of all—has told me not to be afraid, not to worry, and to take heart—because he has overcome this world of troubles.
And yet, how quickly I forget when things get scary, worrisome, and troubling. How quickly I turn to things like email alerts—and what other people are telling are telling me about situations—while forgetting to seek the Voice that really matters.
Even in times such as these, which seem awfully scary, I want to live fearlessly. But I need help. Any tips?"

What's amazing to me is that, on a regular basis, such thoughts and feelings are my life. That's what I experience. And it's only now and again that I truly realize, this is NOT what He intended.
I've had fits and starts of reading regularly in my Bible, and fits and starts of praying regularly, and fits and starts of this and that. But inevitably, those fits and starts never lead to what I want, a mature relationship with Christ as my Lord, and Savior. I like to tell myself that I'm getting better at it, this ephemerous-relationship-thing, but there's still a huge part of me that believes that you aren't truly "there" until it's PERFECT. Is that real? Or is that the Devil I'm listening to?
A lot of things are confusing, at times. But I do know, honestly, that if I ask, I shall receive, and the door shall be opened to me, if I knock. I guess old habits are hard to break, because knocking and asking are still pretty difficult for me. I am, however, getting better at it.

Composting Toilet... odor-free? I'm VERY interested in learning more....

2008-11-21T15:39:00.000-08:00

And you should be too!

Odor-free Enclosed Long Term Composting Toilets.

I'm going to do more research.

Seriously? You've GOT to be kidding me....

2008-11-19T20:39:00.001-08:00

This is the one time I am going to say this.

If you chose to live under supposed democratic rule, you cannot then turn around and say, "majority rule should not set the law.""

That's a complete oxymoron if ever I heard one.
Please notice that I am NOT in any way shape or form casting judgment upon someone's lifestyle. I believe in tolerance. However, I do NOT believe in stupidity. And that statement is purely that: stupid.

Rediscovering Quiet

2008-11-17T22:13:00.000-08:00

It's been an interesting few days, I'll say that. I'm house-sitting for the Lake Samish branch of the "family" while they are away. And since P and I moved away from the Lake House, life is... rather louder. I am currently living with two girls, soon to be three, and they're ALL roughly 10 years younger than I am. It makes for a slightly louder house than I'm used to. I'm closer to the "5" (freeway) too, so it's a constant background rumble. Not as loud as P's in Seattle, but still. It's noticeable. Or, it was. When I first moved to the new apt, I couldn't sleep because of the noise. Out here at the Lake, the "noise" came from the owls and the other critters... and very occasionally the obnoxious neighbors (youth, what is happening!!!) throwing parties. So now that I'm BACK here, now it's the LACK of noise that's been keeping me awake. Plus the memories of this house, and my best-best friend, and his niece when I was the "nanny". Ah boy, those were the days!

It's very strange to be in a house where all of your memories are with someone you love dearly, or their family, or little ones, or the wonderful dog. Now, the house is silent. And I'm beginning to understand a slight bit of what I had before when I lived alone for so many years. I never felt the silence as much as I do now, and I wonder if this is what widowhood feels like. It never seemed to bother me so much before, just in the odd moments when the silence seemed to be too much and I would seek communion with others just for the simple joy of hearing a voice.

This isn't the same feeling as that desperate call from Mt. Baker, crying out for you to come visit her and smell the scents of the land and just "get away" and "be silent" for awhile. There is something almost desolate, and despairing, of an empty house where once there was laughter and joy and quiet companionship. I wonder if that is why I feel such affinity for old farm houses? I see them, ramshackle and wearing down at the seams, and I want to go play and fix them. Fill them to bursting with children and laughter and arguments and love.

I think this is all brought on by the passing of the dear old dog, late last evening. It's an interesting experience for me to have an animal pass, that wasn't killed for food, or buried on the land where we can go visit. And, of course, he wasn't mine. Mine in a sense of borrowed, as I visited often, and he was a regular fixture at our place, visiting and craftily seeking carbohydrate-rich treats. But not, "mine" mine. I can feel their pain, and I grieve with them, but it's not the same richness, or texture, as when it's "mine" mine.

Which brings me to my next subject. Alastair Begg. I have been slowly getting caught back up on the past week's sermons. Right now, he's going over 1 Peter 5. Amazing stuff. I'm finding myself actually opening the Big Book to the right passage and reading ahead of time, then listening in, and beginning to understand. Or at least, develop a deeper understanding of the Word. (Reminds me, P and I went to Cafe Adagio on his trip-before-last and there is a copy of Matthew Henry's there. We explored Genesis a bit, which is where in the Big Book we're currently at, together.)

Anyways. This particular sermon was very very very moving to me, so much so that I wrote down feverishly and re-listened, and re-listened, and re-listened some more just to make sure I got it all down in black and white!

Here's what caught me so firmly:

"Christian faith does not remove us from the painful experiences of life in a fallen world. It is faulty thinking . . . which finds those who name the name of Jesus Christ, scurrying around, either denying the fact of suffering (thereby making a liar of themselves) or seeking to run away from suffering, assuming that down that street where there is none of this experience (suffering) there will be progress and blessing in our lives. We must be honest with ourselves. (I am paraphrasing here:) We have the gift of Jesus Christ, a man without sin, but NOT without sorrows. Isaiah 53, which says, He is despised and rejected of men; A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: And we hit as it were our faces from him; He was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, And carried our sorrows.".

"Loved ones, if you've been going through your days, and I've been going through my days, deciding on the basis of my own faulty logic, that somehow suffering is never in the purposes of God and that when it comes I should either deny it or run from it, then we are missing the point completely. In actuality, more spiritual progress is made through our tears, than our laughter. Think it out."

Today has just been an interesting day, and lots of changes coming all at once, and I'm learning to stop listening to the devil and his sly words, casting doubt and attempting to drive a wedge between my Savior and myself.
And if I'm all over the place on this post, I will either attempt to correct it at another time when I'm not punch-drunk from being up too late, or I'll just leave be. Most likely, just leave be.

Don't forget!
Praise God today!
And All Your Days!

God's Word

2008-11-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

I am always struck by the importance of the messages that Alastair Begg delivers to us, daily.

"When slothfulness comes, dangers stand thick about us. Peter says, 'Our activity must be self-controlled and alert'".

"Standing firm in the faith. Victory in resisting the devil is not based on our personal tenacity. Rather it is upon the basis of the faith which is ours in Christ. In adhering to the work of Jesus upon the cross where he defeated the devil, and if you like, holding up that standard. Not our ability to hold IT, but our willingness to hold TO it. We resist him, firm in the faith, when we put on the helmet of salvation. So, when the devil comes and attacks us with doubts, we say, I know you're here to make me doubt, but Jesus died on the cross for me, and I am wearing the helmet of salvation, so BE GONE."

What an immensely powerful thing, to hear the Word of God, and to know It is Right.

It makes me consider the events of these past few weeks, and to wonder how I could have acted in order to help resolve issues. The one thing I keep coming back to is, perhaps these things were meant to happen the way they have, that perhaps ears are not open to hear, just as I did not, for years and years, content to react to everything and think that I was, of course, not at fault.

It was always easier for me to react to others, and not look within myself, to see that perhaps it was my actions that were at the root of the conflict. It was always easier to simply leave, without bothering to have a good sit-down and try to work things out. I behaved that way for the majority of my life, thus far. I have run away from relationships, school, my family, and my best friends, simply because it was far easier to cut losses and run, burn my bridges, than to turn and face and take the risk that perhaps things might work out, and perhaps they might not. Fear governs us all, and it's a terrible, terrible thing. To leave oneself open, to try again, to resolve conflict, it's difficult. I know what that is like, and I always ran from it.

But, I have indeed grown, immensely, in these last two years. I have learned what it is, to leave yourself open. It's painful, at times, and also incredibly rewarding. You simply have to TRUST, that all will be well, regardless of how it feels, right then. And if you absolutely have the best intentions at heart, and can communicate, and be willing to hear another side and to compromise, then all things do indeed work out the way they are meant to.

His plan is indeed infinite.

p.s. I just stumbled onto the information about Englishman John Newton, who coined the hymn "Amazing Grace". Here's some information on his life, and God's Amazing gift of GRACE to those who never ever deserved it, including ME.

Ask, and You Shall Receive

2008-11-12T15:23:00.000-08:00

God Is So Good!!

This has never been more apparent to me than in the last week. God does indeed deliver, especially when you leave the details up to Him.

God has moved things in my direction that I never expected, and knowing that I have Him to rely on is so amazing. I asked, and I am receiving. I picked up an extra two hours/week this afternoon for tutoring. I'm so very, very excited. I need those hours. I also told the asst. mgr. at the college that I'd be willing to work 7-11am, Tues-Thurs to pick up extra hours for them until the end of this quarter, and that I'd be willing to work M-Th 7-12 next quarter. She looked really excited to hear about that, I wonder if the head mgr will go for it. I hope so, but if she does not, then I'll keep looking for extra income. We did a cost analysis equation in my math class today, and for some reason it really struck me that the faster we can get our debt paid down, the easier it will be for us to buy our farm. I knew all this, intellectually, but for some strange reason, it hit me straight in the heart, and I'm filled with this drastic urging to get it done yesterday. I want to be free of these ties.

In other news, I've been listening to more Willie Nelson and crew than I normally do. I know it has a lot to do with the "season". Every October 31st, my mood shifts to appreciating the oncoming snow and winter... Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my father's passing. I always get very nostalgic during this season, and think so much about how much he'd just love P. He would love to see how much I glow when I am with him, how much at peace I am, now that I've recognized Christ as my God and Savior, and he would absolutely be thrilled with our plans for a farm and going back to the way things used to be, homesteading. It's a return to my roots, and I know he would be tickled pink. I also know how thrilled and tickled he would be, seeing my younger siblings doing so well, having babies to continue the bloodline, getting married, and such. One of these days, I will be making a trip to California to see them, before we head to the East Coast.

It's funny how things change, but somehow we're the same. Principles remain, and yearnings still happen.

Oh One More Thing Quick!

2008-11-12T01:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my wonderful friend M, who brought back several skirts from her recent trip to visit family, I have been able to wear skirts for the last five days straight. I've never felt more feminine, or at peace, than any other time I can remember. It feels WONDERFUL!!! I've talked with P regarding this craving of mine, to return to wearing skirts, and he fully supports it, and indeed says that I look quite wonderful and seem to be happier than ever in doing so, and if so, then to definitely continue. It is so wonderful to have someone in my life who continues to be a huge support, as well as a good shoulder, and a delightful ear.

A Much-Blessed Day.... Memories and Ponderings of November 11

2008-11-12T00:30:00.000-08:00

I've not gone to bed yet. I've been reading. Yes, reading. Blogs, actually. Homesteading blogs, specifically. I listened to the Monday Truth For Life Broadcast, read some from 1 Peter, and then got sucked into Mr. Herrick Kimball's blog on cider, and from there, it was just all over.

I went to a fantastic blog on homesteading and rabbitry, then on to goats, and then soap making. All told, I think I've been reading blogs for the last few hours. Lots of information being "stored in that little ant brain of" mine. 10 bonus points for anyone who can guess where that quote comes from. Okay here's a hint: it's my FAVORITE movie. Well, one of the top 50, at least. I used to watch it every night before sleep. Sometimes, while asleep.

In other news, we've lost one roommate. So we were once four, and now we are three. But we will soon be back to four, in February, as the Em returns from Japan. I've been reading her blog postings off and on about her experiences in Japan, and they're quite interesting. I will say this: I'm glad I live here. Even for all my grumbling about the state of our nation and true freedom etc etc... I definitely appreciate my ability to even GRUMBLE.

I made (from scratch, mind you!) my great-great grandmother Santalina's (Grandma Lena) potato gnocchi. It was FANTASTIC. The girls really enjoyed it, and while it took me a bit to get the dough right, it all came out perfect in the end. I could only eat half my portion, talk about filling! Whew! I also made a marsala/mushroom carbonara to go with it. Yum, Yum! I think I might try my hand at making a large batch, putting them in a batch of chicken broth and canning them, to see how they turn out. I would hope they would stay firm and tender (is that an oxymoron?) like a good batch of matzo ball soup.

That's been my major adventure for the day, although I did help rearrange one of the roommates' rooms so that she now has an immensely-efficient-usage-of-space in her room, and can now even lay cross-wise on the floor if she so chose. I'm pretty happy about that, too. It's wonderful to feel helpful!

P.S. read Ecclesiastes, and 1 Peter! Great stuff!

God's Hand....

2008-11-04T10:34:00.000-08:00

Hidden at times, but always, always present.
This week, I've been bonked on the head more times than I can remember in recent history. I've begun praying in the mornings again, something I was convicted to do, earlier this year, but as with most things, practice makes perfect and I have been too lazy to make it a habit and practice.
This morning, I felt I had to read Ecclesiastes. I'm very grateful that I did, for I stumbled onto things that are true treasures, things that I'd seen before, but had managed to forget.

Ecclesiastes 9
Everyone Will Die
9:1 So I reflected on all this, attempting to clear it all up.
I concluded that the righteous and the wise, as well as their works, are in the hand of God;
whether a person will be loved or hated –
no one knows what lies ahead.
9:2 Everyone shares the same fate –
the righteous and the wicked,
the good and the bad,
the ceremonially clean and unclean,
those who offer sacrifices and those who do not.
What happens to the good person, also happens to the sinner;
what happens to those who make vows, also happens to those who are afraid to make vows.

9:3 This is the unfortunate fact about everything that happens on earth:
the same fate awaits everyone.
In addition to this, the hearts of all people are full of evil,
and there is folly in their hearts during their lives – then they die.

Better to Be Poor but Alive than Rich but Dead
9:4 But whoever is among the living has hope;
a live dog is better than a dead lion.
9:5 For the living know that they will die, but the dead do not know anything;
they have no further reward – and even the memory of them disappears.
9:6 What they loved, as well as what they hated and envied, perished long ago,
and they no longer have a part in anything that happens on earth.

Life is Brief, so Cherish its Joys
9:7 Go, eat your food with joy,
and drink your wine with a happy heart,
because God has already approved your works.
9:8 Let your clothes always be white,
and do not spare precious ointment on your head.
9:9 Enjoy life with your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life
that God has given you on earth during all your fleeting days;
for that is your reward in life and in your burdensome work on earth.
9:10 Whatever you find to do with your hands,
do it with all your might,
because there is neither work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the grave,
the place where you will eventually go.

Wisdom Cannot Protect against Seemingly Chance Events
9:11 Again, I observed this on the earth:
the race is not always won by the swiftest,
the battle is not always won by the strongest;
prosperity does not always belong to those who are the wisest,
wealth does not always belong to those who are the most discerning,
nor does success always come to those with the most knowledge –
for time and chance may overcome them all.
9:12 Surely, no one knows his appointed time!
Like fish that are caught in a deadly net, and like birds that are caught in a snare –
just like them, all people are ensnared at an unfortunate time that falls upon them suddenly.

Most People Are Not Receptive to Wise Counsel
9:13 This is what I also observed about wisdom on earth,
and it is a great burden to me:
9:14 There was once a small city with a few men in it,
and a mighty king attacked it, besieging it and building strong siege works against it.
9:15 However, a poor but wise man lived in the city,
and he could have delivered the city by his wisdom,
but no one listened to that poor man.
9:16 So I concluded that wisdom is better than might,
but a poor man’s wisdom is despised; no one ever listens to his advice.

Wisdom versus Fools, Sin, and Folly
9:17 The words of the wise are heard in quiet,
more than the shouting of a ruler is heard among fools.
9:18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war,
but one sinner can destroy much that is good.

Ecclesiastes 11

Ignorance of the Future Demands Diligence in the Present
11:1 Send your grain overseas,
for after many days you will get a return.
11:2 Divide your merchandise among seven or even eight investments,
for you do not know what calamity may happen on earth.
11:3 If the clouds are full of rain, they will empty themselves on the earth,
and whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, the tree will lie wherever it falls.
11:4 He who watches the wind will not sow,
and he who observes the clouds will not reap.
11:5 Just as you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the bones form in the womb of a pregnant woman,
so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.
11:6 Sow your seed in the morning,
and do not stop working until the evening;
for you do not know which activity will succeed –
whether this one or that one, or whether both will prosper equally.

Life Should Be Enjoyed Because Death is Inevitable
11:7 Light is sweet,
and it is pleasant for a person to see the sun.
11:8 So, if a man lives many years, let him rejoice in them all,
but let him remember that the days of darkness will be many – all that is about to come is obscure.

Enjoy Life to the Fullest under the Fear of God
11:9 Rejoice, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth.
Follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes,
but know that God will judge your motives and actions.
11:10 Banish emotional stress from your mind.
and put away pain from your body;
for youth and the prime of life are fleeting.

Ron Paul, Oct 29, 2008

2008-11-03T16:56:00.001-08:00

The Blessing of Thoughtlessness

2008-10-30T19:09:00.000-07:00

I wasn't prepared for that message in my inbox. I've been having a rough few days (granted not nearly as rough as some of us...) and generally just indulging in feeling like poo. Insecurities and other like idiocies are rearing their ugly little heads, and as a result, I'm not sleeping very well because of the dreams. I've been trying to wrap my head around them and get them to go away, mind you without prayer, which is just plain stupid. But then, sometimes stupid is as stupid does.... and here's the result. Imagine my surprise when once again, He manages to still send me His word and His wisdom, telling me to just stop it already, and quit thinking such things so much.

He's right. He's always right. When am I going to clue in to that fact, and stop being so headstrong and so sure that my way is the right way? Sometimes this stumbling thing feels like it's a never-ending struggle.

A Mighty Comeuppance...

2008-10-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

Today I had my head handed to me. Not in so many words, or actions, so to speak. But it was certainly an eye-opening experience. I am, apparently, a coward at heart. And, I make assumptions and then work myself up into a dither because of them... because of the FEAR I've created, in my own dang head.

Here's a little background info.

For this English class I'm taking, we had an assignment that required us to write a campaign ad. So, me being me, I did. I put out everything that I felt was the most important to me, and hit on everything from the bunk federal taxation situation to the fact that we're spending so much overseas in wars we have no business being in. I also threw a bunch of other stuff in there regarding fiat money, etc etc...
When it came time for class, however, I grew mightily alarmed when told that we were going to be "producing" and delivering these campaign ads. I mean, serious stage fright, and a big dose of I don't know what else. Anyways, I'm sitting there in this classroom full of people that I will reasonably never in my life talk to again, and I'm trembling, my palms are sweating, and I'm blushing and feeling incredibly sick to my stomach.

Why? Good darn question. I finally realized that I was honestly concerned about the opinion of the class! In particular, one person whom I assumed would be the first to snigger and denigrate what I'd written. I didn't want that to happen, and I was honestly AFRAID of someone's opinion regarding my political views. I take a very strong stance regarding some things, and I could not bear to have those views taken lightly, not right now, not when our country is poised on the eve of a huge embarkment into what I view as a morally wrong course.

Imagine my utter surprise and wonderment when, after having been granted relief by the professor (my ad didn't get 'produced'), I hear the wonderous words of Thomas Jefferson being spoken by one of the 'candidates,' directly referencing the unconstitutional Federal Reserve.

And after class, I just had to know who'd written that specific campaign ad.

Turns out, it was the guy I thought for sure would be the first to mock my own ideals and issues.

So here's a quick lesson for everyone: Be dang careful about what you assume, because apparently, assumptions are for everyone, and they're always WRONG.

p.s. Lew Rockwell, posting in The American Conservative writes that, ". . . we do have the freedom not to vote. No one has yet drafted us into the voting booth. I suggest that we exercise this right not to participate. It is one of the few rights we have left. Nonparticipation sends a message that we no longer believe in the racket they have cooked up for us, and we want no part of it."

It's an interesting argument, but one which I'm skeptical about. Not that I doubt that he has the right of it. Far from it, actually. Perhaps I'm just arrogant and egotistical enough to be able to say to anyone who asks, no, I did NOT vote for either one. I voted my conscience, and it was the morally responsible thing to do. I chose NOT to vote for evil.

Essay Writing, Tallow/Lard Rendering, and God's Everlasting Word!

2008-10-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Do Not Be Conformed To This World

Big message in today's email from Truth For Life. Very timely. I'm writing an essay regarding the practical applications of non-conformist Christian living. It's a reference to the title of this blog, actually, and the idea came from the essay by Birkerts.

I'm transitioning over to not wearing jeans/pants anymore. I feel incredibly self-conscious in jeans and pants, and seeing how women are wearing their clothes lately is causing me to want to go in the exact and furthest opposite direction possible.

This is just a quick post for me to keep my mental place, so to speak, while I delve deeper into the essay writing. I'll be editing when classes are over today. Stay tuned.

Edited: 10/14/08 11:16pm...

Found this a little while ago. It's a posting regarding the dust up with Russian and Georgian forces, how the U.S. media is basically keeping all note-worthy (and honest) news out of the spotlight, and what's really going on over there. Very good background information based on what I've learned in my own studies of Russian/Baltic history. Interesting perspective, as well.

God's Love At Work

2008-10-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

Week of October 12, 2008

A Strong Foundation

" . . . fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward." ~ I Corinthians 3:13-14 (NIV)
Indeed, God cares about the purity of our work. He cares about our motives behind our work, and He cares about the outward appearance of our work. He cares about how our work affects others and how we treat people along the way.
Work is a reflection of the heart, and God is watching. He sees when we cut corners, slip in late, steal supplies, cheat customers and gossip.
He also sees when we are on time and honest, when we serve and encourage others with a loving heart and when we build with excellence upon the foundation that Christ laid.
I once had a job marketing a new product to churches. Before I came on board, however, a previous team of experts had laid the foundation of this new product. They researched, wrote training manuals and student workbooks, designed logos and developed branding. They invested a lot of money and time into laying the foundation that our second team built upon. The first team's efforts were tested and refined as we journey forth. That which was solid remained, and that which was not gave way to change in order to produce higher quality.
This is much like how God "works" us through His divine refining. He challenges or tests our hearts to forge us into greater purity, like pure gold and silver. And our behaviors and works are a reflection of where we are in this process.
In I Corinthians 3, Paul attempted to reestablish morality in the church. He identified areas that were weak or erroneous and corrected them. Imagine the messages the Corinthians were sending to the world in their defamed state. Likewise, what would Paul have to say if he could visit our workplaces? Would he consider our behaviors and works moral or immoral? What messages are we sending to our co-workers? Do they see enough of Jesus in us to desire what we have? Are we winning them to Christ? Reaching out to them with His compassion? Or turning them away with dissension and boasting?
Yes, God expects quality. I Corinthians 3:13 tells us that our "work will be shown for what it is." The Lord's truth will be revealed about us and our work. We and our work will be judged, and we will either receive a reward or a loss. In this, we have a choice. What will we choose? What will we receive?
Are we committed to behaving and performing in God's ways or ours? I Corinthians 3:20 says, "The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile." I Corinthians 3:18 tells us to not deceive ourselves. I Corinthians 3:19 says, "He catches the wise in their craftiness."
Are we not to humbly build upon that which Christ laid before us and do His work by His grace? The truth is that without His grace, we can do nothing at all.
Make no mistake about it, the Lord led me to these scriptures in I Corinthians at the outset of my job. I knew He meant business, that the business I was doing was His and that I did it by His grace alone.
If you would like to have more of God's excellence reflected in your work, simply confess and invite the Holy Spirit to search your heart and to bring you into a greater realm of His excellence so that you may receive what He longs to give you: His finest reward.

This message is, as always, timely. I am constantly amazed that His messages come shining through, loud and clear, a true reflection and an absolute revelation that He is, indeed, watching me and keeping me in His own heart.

Today's experience at the coffee shop really demonstrated how my own actions influence others, and thank God, I was able to demonstrate true Christian ideals of humility, and honesty. I felt so overwhelmed at the end of this specific experience, and could only just hold back the tears, and realize that I could, indeed, make right a wrong.

"Confidence Is Leaving the Fiat Money System" and other juicy tidbits!

2008-10-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

Thorsten Polleit posted a blog on the Mises website yesterday regarding the fiat money system. You should REALLY check it out.

In other news, the other blog was finally unlocked, so now I can start posting again. I'm excited. I weighed myself this morning, after eating breakfast, and I've dropped roughly 5lbs in the last two weeks. Not a whole lot coming off so far, but I do feel a lot better having cut out the majority of the garbage I was eating. And, I think wheat is definitely out for me. Such a shame, really. There's nothing quite like a fresh loaf of Parke's dad's homemade Sourdough. Talk about.... mouth watering.

I've more to post about, but I'm on a time crunch right now (when am I not?) and I've got some serious studying to complete before my early shift tomorrow.

Economic Depressions: Their Cause and Cure by Murry Rothbard

2008-10-09T14:14:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post this online in yet another spot to help get the word out, and hopefully to provide some serious food for thought.

Enjoy:

The Austrian Theory of the Trade Cycle

Compiled by Richard M. Ebeling

Economic Depressions:

Their Cause and Cure

Murray N. Rothbard

We live in a world of euphemism. Undertakers have become "morticians," press agents are now "public relations counsellors" and janitors have all been transformed into "superintendents." In every walk of life, plain facts have been wrapped in cloudy camouflage.

No less has this been true of economics. In the old days, we used to suffer nearly periodic economic crises, the sudden onset of which was called a "panic," and the lingering trough period after the panic was called "depression."

The most famous depression in modern times, of course, was the one that began in a typical financial panic in 1929 and lasted until the advent of World War II. After the disaster of 1929, economists and politicians resolved that this must never happen again. The easiest way of succeeding at this resolve was, simply to define "depressions" out of existence. From that point on, America was to suffer no further depressions. For when the next sharp depression came along, in 1937-38, the economists simply refused to use the dread name, and came up with a new, much softer-sounding word: "recession." From that point on, we have been through quite a few recessions, but not a single depression.

But pretty soon the word "recession" also became too harsh for the delicate sensibilities of the American public. It now seems that we had our last recession in 1957-58. For since then, we have only had "downturns," or, even better, "slowdowns," or "sidewise movements." So be of good cheer; from now on, depressions and even recessions have been outlawed by the semantic fiat of economists; from now on, the worst that can possibly happen to us are "slowdowns." Such are the wonders of the "New Economics."

For 30 years, our nation's economists have adopted the view of the business cycle held by the late British economist, John Maynard Keynes, who created the Keynesian, or the "New," Economics in his book, The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money, published in 1936. Beneath their diagrams, mathematics, and inchoate jargon, the attitude of Keynesians toward booms and bust is simplicity, even naivete, itself. If there is inflation, then the cause is supposed to be "excessive spending" on the part of the public; the alleged cure is for the government, the self-appointed stabilizer and regulator of the nation's economy, to step in and force people to spend less, "sopping up their excess purchasing power" through increased taxation. If there is a recession, on the other hand, this has been caused by insufficient private spending, and the cure now is for the government to increase its own spending, preferably through deficits, thereby adding to the nation's aggregate spending stream.

The idea that increased government spending or easy money is "good for business" and that budget cuts or harder money is "bad" permeates even the most conservative newspapers and magazines. These journals will also take for granted that it is the sacred task of the federal government to steer the economic system on the narrow road between the abysses of depression on the one hand and inflation on the other, for the free-market economy is supposed to be ever liable to succumb to one of these evils.

All current schools of economists have the same attitude. Note, for example, the viewpoint of Dr. Paul W. McCracken, the incoming chairman of President Nixon's Council of Economic Advisers. In an interview with the New York Times shortly after taking office [January 24, 1969], Dr. McCracken asserted that one of the major economic problems facing the new Administration is "how you cool down this inflationary economy without at the same time tripping off unacceptably high levels of unemployment. In other words, if the only thing we want to do is cool off the inflation, it could be done. But our social tolerances on unemployment are narrow." And again: "I think we have to feel our way along here. We don't really have much experience in trying to cool an economy in orderly fashion. We slammed on the brakes in 1957, but, of course, we got substantial slack in the economy."

Note the fundamental attitude of Dr. McCracken toward the economy--remarkable only in that it is shared by almost all economists of the present day. The economy is treated as a potentially workable, but always troublesome and recalcitrant patient, with a continual tendency to hive off into greater inflation or unemployment. The function of the government is to be the wise old manager and physician, ever watchful, ever tinkering to keep the economic patient in good working order. In any case, here the economic patient is clearly supposed to be the subject, and the government as "physician" the master.

It was not so long ago that this kind of attitude and policy was called "socialism"; but we live in a world of euphemism, and now we call it by far less harsh labels, such as "moderation" or "enlightened free enterprise." We live and learn.

What, then, are the causes of periodic depressions? Must we always remain agnostic about the causes of booms and busts? Is it really true that business cycles are rooted deep within the free-market economy, and that therefore some form of government planning is needed if we wish to keep the economy within some kind of stable bounds? Do booms and then busts just simply happen, or does one phase of the cycle flow logically from the other?

The currently fashionable attitude toward the business cycle stems, actually, from Karl Marx. Marx saw that, before the Industrial Revolution in approximately the late eighteenth century, there were no regularly recurring booms and depressions. There would be a sudden economic crisis whenever some king made war or confiscated the property of his subject; but there was no sign of the peculiarly modern phenomena of general and fairly regular swings in business fortunes, of expansions and contractions. Since these cycles also appeared on the scene at about the same time as modern industry, Marx concluded that business cycles were an inherent feature of the capitalist market economy. All the various current schools of economic thought, regardless of their other differences and the different causes that they attribute to the cycle, agree on this vital point: That these business cycles originate somewhere deep within the free-market economy. The market economy is to blame. Karl Marx believed that the periodic depressions would get worse and worse, until the masses would be moved to revolt and destroy the system, while the modern economists believe that the government can successfully stabilize depressions and the cycle. But all parties agree that the fault lies deep within the market economy and that if anything can save the day, it must be some form of massive government intervention.

There are, however, some critical problems in the assumption that the market economy is the culprit. For "general economic theory" teaches us that supply and demand always tend to be in equilibrium in the market and that therefore prices of products as well as of the factors that contribute to production are always tending toward some equilibrium point. Even though changes of data, which are always taking place, prevent equilibrium from ever being reached, there is nothing in the general theory of the market system that would account for regular and recurring boom-and-bust phases of the business cycle. Modern economists "solve" this problem by simply keeping their general price and market theory and their business cycle theory in separate, tightly-sealed compartments, with never the twain meeting, much less integrated with each other. Economists, unfortunately, have forgotten that there is only one economy and therefore only one integrated economic theory. Neither economic life nor the structure of theory can or should be in watertight compartments; our knowledge of the economy is either one integrated whole or it is nothing. Yet most economists are content to apply totally separate and, indeed, mutually exclusive, theories for general price analysis and for business cycles. They cannot be genuine economic scientists so long as they are content to keep operating in this primitive way.

But there are still graver problems with the currently fashionable approach. Economists also do not see one particularly critical problem because they do not bother to square their business cycle and general price theories: the peculiar breakdown of the entrepreneurial function at times of economic crisis and depression. In the market economy, one of the most vital functions of the businessman is to be an "entrepreneur," a man who invests in productive methods, who buys equipment and hires labor to produce something which he is not sure will reap him any return. In short, the entrepreneurial function is the function of forecasting the uncertain future. Before embarking on any investment or line of production, the entrepreneur, or "enterpriser," must estimate present and future costs and future revenues and therefore estimate whether and how much profits he will earn from the investment. If he forecasts well and significantly better than his business competitors, he will reap profits from his investment. The better his forecasting, the higher the profits he will earn. If, on the other hand, he is a poor forecaster and overestimates the demand for his product, he will suffer losses and pretty soon be forced out of the business.

The market economy, then, is a profit-and-loss economy, in which the acumen and ability of business entrepreneurs is gauged by the profits and losses they reap. The market economy, moreover, contains a built-in mechanism, a kind of natural selection, that ensures the survival and the flourishing of the superior forecaster and the weeding-out of the inferior ones. For the more profits reaped by the better forecasters, the greater become their business responsibilities, and the more they will have available to invest in the productive system. On the other hand, a few years of making losses will drive the poorer forecasters and entrepreneurs out of business altogether and push them into the ranks of salaried employees.

If, then, the market economy has a built-in natural selection mechanism for good entrepreneurs, this means that, generally, we would expect not many business firms to be making losses. And, in fact, if we look around at the economy on an average day or year, we will find that losses are not very widespread. But, in that case, the odd fact that needs explaining is this: How is it that, periodically, in times of the onset of recessions and especially in steep depressions, the business world suddenly experiences a massive cluster of severe losses? A moment arrives when business firms, previously highly astute entrepreneurs in their ability to make profits and avoid losses, suddenly and dismayingly find themselves, almost all of them, suffering severe and unaccountable losses?How come? Here is a momentous fact that any theory of depressions must explain. An explanation such as "underconsumption"--a drop in total consumer spending--is not sufficient, for one thing, because what needs to be explained is why businessmen, able to forecast all manner of previous economic changes and developments, proved themselves totally and catastrophically unable to forecast this alleged drop in consumer demand. Why this sudden failure in forecasting ability?

An adequate theory of depressions, then, must account for the tendency of the economy to move through successive booms and busts, showing no sign of settling into any sort of smoothly moving, or quietly progressive, approximation of an equilibrium situation. In particular, a theory of depression must account for the mammoth cluster of errors which appears swiftly and suddenly at a moment of economic crisis, and lingers through the depression period until recovery. And there is a third universal fact that a theory of the cycle must account for. Invariably, the booms and busts are much more intense and severe in the "capital goods industries"?the industries making machines and equipment, the ones producing industrial raw materials or constructing industrial plants?than in the industries making consumers' goods. Here is another fact of business cycle life that must be explained--and obviously can't be explained by such theories of depression as the popular underconsumption doctrine: That consumers aren't spending enough on consumer goods. For if insufficient spending is the culprit, then how is it that retail sales are the last and the least to fall in any depression, and that depression really hits such industries as machine tools, capital equipment, construction, and raw materials? Conversely, it is these industries that really take off in the inflationary boom phases of the business cycle, and not those businesses serving the consumer. An adequate theory of the business cycle, then, must also explain the far greater intensity of booms and busts in the non-consumer goods, or "producers' goods," industries.

Fortunately, a correct theory of depression and of the business cycle does exist, even though it is universally neglected in present-day economics. It, too, has a long tradition in economic thought. This theory began with the eighteenth century Scottish philosopher and economist David Hume, and with the eminent early nineteenth century English classical economist David Ricardo. Essentially, these theorists saw that another crucial institution had developed in the mid-eighteenth century, alongside the industrial system. This was the institution of banking, with its capacity to expand credit and the money supply (first, in the form of paper money, or bank notes, and later in the form of demand deposits, or checking accounts, that are instantly redeemable in cash at the banks). It was the operations of these commercial banks which, these economists saw, held the key to the mysterious recurrent cycles of expansion and contraction, of boom and bust, that had puzzled observers since the mid-eighteenth century.

The Ricardian analysis of the business cycle went something as follows: The natural moneys emerging as such on the world free market are useful commodities, generally gold and silver. If money were confined simply to these commodities, then the economy would work in the aggregate as it does in particular markets: A smooth adjustment of supply and demand, and therefore no cycles of boom and bust. But the injection of bank credit adds another crucial and disruptive element. For the banks expand credit and therefore bank money in the form of notes or deposits which are theoretically redeemable on demand in gold, but in practice clearly are not. For example, if a bank has 1000 ounces of gold in its vaults, and it issues instantly redeemable warehouse receipts for 2500 ounces of gold, then it clearly has issued 1500 ounces more than it can possibly redeem. But so long as there is no concerted "run" on the bank to cash in these receipts, its warehouse-receipts function on the market as equivalent to gold, and therefore the bank has been able to expand the money supply of the country by 1500 gold ounces.

The banks, then, happily begin to expand credit, for the more they expand credit the greater will be their profits. This results in the expansion of the money supply within a country, say England. As the supply of paper and bank money in England increases, the money incomes and expenditures of Englishmen rise, and the increased money bids up prices of English goods. The result is inflation and a boom within the country. But this inflationary boom, while it proceeds on its merry way, sows the seeds of its own demise. For as English money supply and incomes increase, Englishmen proceed to purchase more goods from abroad. Furthermore, as English prices go up, English goods begin to lose their competitiveness with the products of other countries which have not inflated, or have been inflating to a lesser degree. Englishmen begin to buy less at home and more abroad, while foreigners buy less in England and more at home; the result is a deficit in the English balance of payments, with English exports falling sharply behind imports. But if imports exceed exports, this means that money must flow out of England to foreign countries. And what money will this be? Surely not English bank notes or deposits, for Frenchmen or Germans or Italians have little or no interest in keeping their funds locked up in English banks. These foreigners will therefore take their bank notes and deposits and present them to the English banks for redemption in gold--and gold will be the type of money that will tend to flow persistently out of the country as the English inflation proceeds on its way. But this means that English bank credit money will be, more and more, pyramiding on top of a dwindling gold base in the English bank vaults. As the boom proceeds, our hypothetical bank will expand its warehouse receipts issued from, say 2500 ounces to 4000 ounces, while its gold base dwindles to, say, 800. As this process intensifies, the banks will eventually become frightened. For the banks, after all, are obligated to redeem their liabilities in cash, and their cash is flowing out rapidly as their liabilities pile up. Hence, the banks will eventually lose their nerve, stop their credit expansion, and in order to save themselves, contract their bank loans outstanding. Often, this retreat is precipitated by bankrupting runs on the banks touched off by the public, who had also been getting increasingly nervous about the ever more shaky condition of the nation's banks.

The bank contraction reverses the economic picture; contraction and bust follow boom. The banks pull in their horns, and businesses suffer as the pressure mounts for debt repayment and contraction. The fall in the supply of bank money, in turn, leads to a general fall in English prices. As money supply and incomes fall, and English prices collapse, English goods become relatively more attractive in terms of foreign products, and the balance of payments reverses itself, with exports exceeding imports. As gold flows into the country, and as bank money contracts on top of an expanding gold base, the condition of the banks becomes much sounder.

This, then, is the meaning of the depression phase of the business cycle. Note that it is a phase that comes out of, and inevitably comes out of, the preceding expansionary boom. It is the preceding inflation that makes the depression phase necessary. We can see, for example, that the depression is the process by which the market economy adjusts, throws off the excesses and distortions of the previous inflationary boom, and reestablishes a sound economic condition. The depression is the unpleasant but necessary reaction to the distortions and excesses of the previous boom.

Why, then, does the next cycle begin? Why do business cycles tend to be recurrent and continuous? Because when the banks have pretty well recovered, and are in a sounder condition, they are then in a confident position to proceed to their natural path of bank credit expansion, and the next boom proceeds on its way, sowing the seeds for the next inevitable bust.

But if banking is the cause of the business cycle, aren't the banks also a part of the private market economy, and can't we therefore say that the free market is still the culprit, if only in the banking segment of that free market? The answer is No, for the banks, for one thing, would never be able to expand credit in concert were it not for the intervention and encouragement of government. For if banks were truly competitive, any expansion of credit by one bank would quickly pile up the debts of that bank in its competitors, and its competitors would quickly call upon the expanding bank for redemption in cash. In short, a bank's rivals will call upon it for redemption in gold or cash in the same way as do foreigners, except that the process is much faster and would nip any incipient inflation in the bud before it got started. Banks can only expand comfortably in unison when a Central Bank exists, essentially a governmental bank, enjoying a monopoly of government business, and a privileged position imposed by government over the entire banking system. It is only when central banking got established that the banks were able to expand for any length of time and the familiar business cycle got underway in the modern world.

The central bank acquires its control over the banking system by such governmental measures as: Making its own liabilities legal tender for all debts and receivable in taxes; granting the central bank monopoly of the issue of bank notes, as contrasted to deposits (in England the Bank of England, the governmentally established central bank, had a legal monopoly of bank notes in the London area); or through the outright forcing of banks to use the central bank as their client for keeping their reserves of cash (as in the United States and its Federal Reserve System). Not that the banks complain about this intervention; for it is the establishment of central banking that makes long-term bank credit expansion possible, since the expansion of Central Bank notes provides added cash reserves for the entire banking system and permits all the commercial banks to expand their credit together. Central banking works like a cozy compulsory bank cartel to expand the banks' liabilities; and the banks are now able to expand on a larger base of cash in the form of central bank notes as well as gold.

So now we see, at last, that the business cycle is brought about, not by any mysterious failings of the free market economy, but quite the opposite: By systematic intervention by government in the market process. Government intervention brings about bank expansion and inflation, and, when the inflation comes to an end, the subsequent depression-adjustment comes into play.

The Ricardian theory of the business cycle grasped the essentials of a correct cycle theory: The recurrent nature of the phases of the cycle, depression as adjustment intervention in the market rather than from the free-market economy. But two problems were as yet unexplained: Why the sudden cluster of business error, the sudden failure of the entrepreneurial function, and why the vastly greater fluctuations in the producers' goods than in the consumers' goods industries? The Ricardian theory only explained movements in the price level, in general business; there was no hint of explanation of the vastly different reactions in the capital and consumers' goods industries.

The correct and fully developed theory of the business cycle was finally discovered and set forth by the Austrian economist Ludwig von Mises, when he was a professor at the University of Vienna. Mises developed hints of his solution to the vital problem of the business cycle in his monumental Theory of Money and Credit, published in 1912, and still, nearly 60 years later, the best book on the theory of money and banking. Mises developed his cycle theory during the 1920s, and it was brought to the English-speaking world by Mises's leading follower, Friedrich A. von Hayek, who came from Vienna to teach at the London School of Economics in the early 1930s, and who published, in German and in English, two books which applied and elaborated the Mises cycle theory: Monetary Theory and the Trade Cycle, and Prices and Production. Since Mises and Hayek were Austrians, and also since they were in the tradition of the great nineteenth-century Austrian economists, this theory has become known in the literature as the "Austrian" (or the "monetary over-investment") theory of the business cycle.

Building on the Ricardians, on general "Austrian" theory, and on his own creative genius, Mises developed the following theory of the business cycle:

Without bank credit expansion, supply and demand tend to be equilibrated through the free price system, and no cumulative booms or busts can then develop. But then government through its central bank stimulates bank credit expansion by expanding central bank liabilities and therefore the cash reserves of all the nation's commercial banks. The banks then proceed to expand credit and hence the nation's money supply in the form of check deposits. As the Ricardians saw, this expansion of bank money drives up the prices of goods and hence causes inflation. But, Mises showed, it does something else, and something even more sinister. Bank credit expansion, by pouring new loan funds into the business world, artificially lowers the rate of interest in the economy below its free market level.

On the free and unhampered market, the interest rate is determined purely by the "time-preferences" of all the individuals that make up the market economy. For the essence of a loan is that a "present good" (money which can be used at present) is being exchanged for a "future good" (an IOU which can only be used at some point in the future). Since people always prefer money right now to the present prospect of getting the same amount of money some time in the future, the present good always commands a premium in the market over the future. This premium is the interest rate, and its height will vary according to the degree to which people prefer the present to the future, i.e., the degree of their time-preferences.

People's time-preferences also determine the extent to which people will save and invest, as compared to how much they will consume. If people's time-preferences should fall, i.e., if their degree of preference for present over future falls, then people will tend to consume less now and save and invest more; at the same time, and for the same reason, the rate of interest, the rate of time-discount, will also fall. Economic growth comes about largely as the result of falling rates of time-preference, which lead to an increase in the proportion of saving and investment to consumption, and also to a falling rate of interest.

But what happens when the rate of interest falls, not because of lower time-preferences and higher savings, but from government interference that promotes the expansion of bank credit? In other words, if the rate of interest falls artificially, due to intervention, rather than naturally, as a result of changes in the valuations and preferences of the consuming public?

What happens is trouble. For businessmen, seeing the rate of interest fall, react as they always would and must to such a change of market signals: They invest more in capital and producers' goods. Investments, particularly in lengthy and time-consuming projects, which previously looked unprofitable now seem profitable, because of the fall of the interest charge. In short, businessmen react as they would react if savings had genuinely increased: They expand their investment in durable equipment, in capital goods, in industrial raw material, in construction as compared to their direct production of consumer goods.

Businesses, in short, happily borrow the newly expanded bank money that is coming to them at cheaper rates; they use the money to invest in capital goods, and eventually this money gets paid out in higher rents to land, and higher wages to workers in the capital goods industries. The increased business demand bids up labor costs, but businesses think they can pay these higher costs because they have been fooled by the government-and-bank intervention in the loan market and its decisively important tampering with the interest-rate signal of the marketplace.

The problem comes as soon as the workers and landlords--largely the former, since most gross business income is paid out in wages--begin to spend the new bank money that they have received in the form of higher wages. For the time-preferences of the public have not really gotten lower; the public doesn't want to save more than it has. So the workers set about to consume most of their new income, in short to reestablish the old consumer/saving proportions. This means that they redirect the spending back to the consumer goods industries, and they don't save and invest enough to buy the newly-produced machines, capital equipment, industrial raw materials, etc. This all reveals itself as a sudden sharp and continuing depression in the producers' goods industries. Once the consumers reestablished their desired consumption/investment proportions, it is thus revealed that business had invested too much in capital goods and had underinvested in consumer goods. Business had been seduced by the governmental tampering and artificial lowering of the rate of interest, and acted as if more savings were available to invest than were really there. As soon as the new bank money filtered through the system and the consumers reestablished their old proportions, it became clear that there were not enough savings to buy all the producers' goods, and that business had misinvested the limited savings available. Business had overinvested in capital goods and underinvested in consumer products.

The inflationary boom thus leads to distortions of the pricing and production system. Prices of labor and raw materials in the capital goods industries had been bid up during the boom too high to be profitable once the consumers reassert their old consumption/investment preferences. The "depression" is then seen as the necessary and healthy phase by which the market economy sloughs off and liquidates the unsound, uneconomic investments of the boom, and reestablishes those proportions between consumption and investment that are truly desired by the consumers. The depression is the painful but necessary process by which the free market sloughs off the excesses and errors of the boom and reestablishes the market economy in its function of efficient service to the mass of consumers. Since prices of factors of production have been bid too high in the boom, this means that prices of labor and goods in these capital goods industries must be allowed to fall until proper market relations are resumed.

Since the workers receive the increased money in the form of higher wages fairly rapidly, how is it that booms can go on for years without having their unsound investments revealed, their errors due to tampering with market signals become evident, and the depression-adjustment process begins its work? The answer is that booms would be very short lived if the bank credit expansion and subsequent pushing of the rate of interest below the free market level were a one-shot affair. But the point is that the credit expansion is not one-shot; it proceeds on and on, never giving consumers the chance to reestablish their preferred proportions of consumption and saving, never allowing the rise in costs in the capital goods industries to catch up to the inflationary rise in prices. Like the repeated doping of a horse, the boom is kept on its way and ahead of its inevitable comeuppance, by repeated doses of the stimulant of bank credit. It is only when bank credit expansion must finally stop, either because the banks are getting into a shaky condition or because the public begins to balk at the continuing inflation, that retribution finally catches up with the boom. As soon as credit expansion stops, then the piper must be paid, and the inevitable readjustments liquidate the unsound over-investments of the boom, with the reassertion of a greater proportionate emphasis on consumers' goods production.

Thus, the Misesian theory of the business cycle accounts for all of our puzzles: The repeated and recurrent nature of the cycle, the massive cluster of entrepreneurial error, the far greater intensity of the boom and bust in the producers' goods industries.

Mises, then, pinpoints the blame for the cycle on inflationary bank credit expansion propelled by the intervention of government and its central bank. What does Mises say should be done, say by government, once the depression arrives? What is the governmental role in the cure of depression? In the first place, government must cease inflating as soon as possible. It is true that this will, inevitably, bring the inflationary boom abruptly to an end, and commence the inevitable recession or depression. But the longer the government waits for this, the worse the necessary readjustments will have to be. The sooner the depression-readjustment is gotten over with, the better. This means, also, that the government must never try to prop up unsound business situations; it must never bail out or lend money to business firms in trouble. Doing this will simply prolong the agony and convert a sharp and quick depression phase into a lingering and chronic disease. The government must never try to prop up wage rates or prices of producers' goods; doing so will prolong and delay indefinitely the completion of the depression-adjustment process; it will cause indefinite and prolonged depression and mass unemployment in the vital capital goods industries. The government must not try to inflate again, in order to get out of the depression. For even if this reinflation succeeds, it will only sow greater trouble later on. The government must do nothing to encourage consumption, and it must not increase its own expenditures, for this will further increase the social consumption/investment ratio. In fact, cutting the government budget will improve the ratio. What the economy needs is not more consumption spending but more saving, in order to validate some of the excessive investments of the boom.

Thus, what the government should do, according to the Misesian analysis of the depression, is absolutely nothing. It should, from the point of view of economic health and ending the depression as quickly as possible, maintain a strict hands off, "laissez-faire" policy. Anything it does will delay and obstruct the adjustment process of the market; the less it does, the more rapidly will the market adjustment process do its work, and sound economic recovery ensue.

The Misesian prescription is thus the exact opposite of the Keynesian: It is for the government to keep absolute hands off the economy and to confine itself to stopping its own inflation and to cutting its own budget.

It has today been completely forgotten, even among economists, that the Misesian explanation and analysis of the depression gained great headway precisely during the Great Depression of the 1930s?the very depression that is always held up to advocates of the free market economy as the greatest single and catastrophic failure of laissez-faire capitalism. It was no such thing. 1929 was made inevitable by the vast bank credit expansion throughout the Western world during the 1920s: A policy deliberately adopted by the Western governments, and most importantly by the Federal Reserve System in the United States. It was made possible by the failure of the Western world to return to a genuine gold standard after World War I, and thus allowing more room for inflationary policies by government. Everyone now thinks of President Coolidge as a believer in laissez-faire and an unhampered market economy; he was not, and tragically, nowhere less so than in the field of money and credit. Unfortunately, the sins and errors of the Coolidge intervention were laid to the door of a non-existent free market economy.

If Coolidge made 1929 inevitable, it was President Hoover who prolonged and deepened the depression, transforming it from a typically sharp but swiftly-disappearing depression into a lingering and near-fatal malady, a malady "cured" only by the holocaust of World War II. Hoover, not Franklin Roosevelt, was the founder of the policy of the "New Deal": essentially the massive use of the State to do exactly what Misesian theory would most warn against--to prop up wage rates above their free-market levels, prop up prices, inflate credit, and lend money to shaky business positions. Roosevelt only advanced, to a greater degree, what Hoover had pioneered. The result for the first time in American history, was a nearly perpetual depression and nearly permanent mass unemployment. The Coolidge crisis had become the unprecedentedly prolonged Hoover-Roosevelt depression.

Ludwig von Mises had predicted the depression during the heyday of the great boom of the 1920s--a time, just like today, when economists and politicians, armed with a "new economics" of perpetual inflation, and with new "tools" provided by the Federal Reserve System, proclaimed a perpetual "New Era" of permanent prosperity guaranteed by our wise economic doctors in Washington. Ludwig von Mises, alone armed with a correct theory of the business cycle, was one of the very few economists to predict the Great Depression, and hence the economic world was forced to listen to him with respect. F. A. Hayek spread the word in England, and the younger English economists were all, in the early 1930s, beginning to adopt the Misesian cycle theory for their analysis of the depression--and also to adopt, of course, the strictly free-market policy prescription that flowed with this theory. Unfortunately, economists have now adopted the historical notion of Lord Keynes: That no "classical economists" had a theory of the business cycle until Keynes came along in 1936. There was a theory of the depression; it was the classical economic tradition; its prescription was strict hard money and laissez-faire; and it was rapidly being adopted, in England and even in the United States, as the accepted theory of the business cycle. (A particular irony is that the major "Austrian" proponent in the United States in the early and mid-1930s was none other than Professor Alvin Hansen, very soon to make his mark as the outstanding Keynesian disciple in this country.)

What swamped the growing acceptance of Misesian cycle theory was simply the "Keynesian Revolution"?the amazing sweep that Keynesian theory made of the economic world shortly after the publication of the General Theory in 1936. It is not that Misesian theory was refuted successfully; it was just forgotten in the rush to climb on the suddenly fashionable Keynesian bandwagon. Some of the leading adherents of the Mises theory who clearly knew better succumbed to the newly established winds of doctrine, and won leading American university posts as a consequence.

But now the once arch-Keynesian London Economist has recently proclaimed that "Keynes is Dead." After over a decade of facing trenchant theoretical critiques and refutation by stubborn economic facts, the Keynesians are now in general and massive retreat. Once again, the money supply and bank credit are being grudgingly acknowledged to play a leading role in the cycle. The time is ripe--for a rediscovery, a renaissance, of the Mises theory of the business cycle. It can come none too soon; if it ever does, the whole concept of a Council of Economic Advisors would be swept away, and we would see a massive retreat of government from the economic sphere. But for all this to happen, the world of economics, and the public at large, must be made aware of the existence of an explanation of the business cycle that has lain neglected on the shelf for all too many tragic years.

This essay was originally published as a minibook by the Constitutional Alliance of Lansing, Michigan, 1969.

Spam, Fresh Food, and God!

2008-10-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

So the "spam" doesn't relate to the stuff that comes in a can. My other blog, 26 days of evolutionary fitness was locked yesterday as a possible "spam content" violation. I'm waiting to hear back, and hopefully it will be unlocked shortly. In the meantime as a way to keep track of what happened yesterday, here is my quick report!
Day One:
Took my vitamins, and scrambled to work. Did a bit of "heavy" lifting, moving cases of liquids. Had 12 oz of chicken gumbo for brunch. When I left work at 1pm I was quite ravenous, stopped by the local grocer and grabbed a giant mixed greens/spinach salad with artichoke hearts, olives, tuna, a smidge of grated parm, carrots, corn, and cukes. Topped it all off with some olive oil, and some apple cider vinegar. I don't think my classmates approved of the smell, but my tummy sure did! I also had a 1/4 cup of fresh fruit, strawberries and blueberries. Also had some tangerines mixed in for more color and variety.
In class until roughly 7pm, cut class early, as I was huuuungry again! Grabbed a pound of stew meat from the grocer. Cooked it up, and added two giant handfuls of broccoli (crowns and stems) to the steamer. I bought this broccoli, as well as the giant spaghetti squash, some small butternuts, anaheim peppers, and green tomatoes from Joe's Garden, fresh local food that is grown less than a mile from my domicile. Steamed those up, added a bit of olive oil and some pepper and a touch of salt. YUM. Body felt SO satisfied.... I was able to get quite a bit of homework completed, and fell asleep around 10pm.
Day Two:
So far this morning I've had my vit c tabs, and 1/2 cup of honey greek yogurt. Yum. I'm considering running to the fridge and heating up some of the spaghetti squash from Day Zero for a quick brunch before I hit the books again. That's it so far!

As to God, He is ALWAYS PRESENT and looking out for me. That brings me more comfort than you can possibly know. I've been looking into gardening/farming as a sustainable food source for about 5 years now, but never actually started doing anything. However, I've recently come across quite a few blogs that really move me, that really motivate me. You'll see them listed here, under People of Note. And, they're all or almost all, Christian Agrarians. I also recently discovered this video chronicling some of the changes one woman in Port Townsend has done on her lot. Take a peek:

God's Love At Work

2008-10-06T16:59:00.000-07:00

This daily devotional was waiting for me this evening, when I finally had a chance to take a seat and read a bit....

Week of September 28, 2008
Forgiveness

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." ~ Colossians 3:13

When God assigns us to a job in a particular work environment, He has many purposes in mind besides providing for our financial needs. He may have us there to be a light in the surrounding darkness; to minister mercy, grace and prayer to those He puts in our path; to test and purify our hearts through challenges; to prepare us for the next glory--otherwise known as a promotion; to bring excellence, influence and transformation to the organization; to be an example to others; and the obvious purpose: to simply work unto Him.

All of these purposes are disciplines. And all of these disciplines offer opportunities to forgive others and ourselves all along the journey.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines forgiveness as "To excuse for a fault or offense; pardon. To stop feeling anger or resentment against. To absolve from payment of."

Forgiveness does not mean condoning other people's bad behavior. It simply means that, by choice, we cancel any debt we feel others owe us due to a wrong we feel they've caused us because Jesus died to pay all sin debt. When we choose to forgive, we extend mercy and grace to the person who wronged us, just as our Heavenly Father extends mercy and grace to us through Jesus when we have wronged Him, or sinned. Therefore, forgiveness is a reflection of Jesus' character. It is an expression of sacrificial obedience in that our "flesh" surrenders to God's higher ways and His divine love in the process.

Forgiveness can feel unjust to our emotions because the enemy tries to provoke and manipulate our emotions negatively. This is one of his devices for keeping us in bondage. He tries to cause us to focus on the offense or hurt by getting us bound up in a web of anger, woundedness and revenge that can grow every time we think or talk about the issue, or every time we feel sorry for ourselves.

We must not become victims of the enemy's plan. Instead, our emotions must come into alignment with God's word on forgiveness. We must be ruled by the Holy Spirit, not by our emotions. In choosing this truth, God rewards us with divine peace and rest. And He promotes us to a level where former offenses will not bother us, a level where He can trust us even more with more.

We must choose to pass the test by keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus and by asking for His help. Doing so gives us the power to proactively guard our hearts, refusing to allow the enemy to embed hurt, fear and anger long-term. Sometimes, this is a process, depending on the level and the number of hurts.

Over the years, the Lord has taught me that forgiveness is a daily journey (Matt. 18:21-22). It is part of the Christian love walk (I Cor. 3:15). It often helps me to pray, "Lord, please help me see others as You do and love them as You do. I cannot do it alone." It also helps me to remember that no one suffered greater hurt than Jesus, who died on a cross a painful death so that we could be free of all bondage. Indeed, Jesus understands and knows our pain. And by His stripes, our hearts are healed (Is. 53:5).

It may surprise you to know that healing ministries have found that long-term unforgiveness is a leading root cause of disease. Simply put, unattended wounds glorify the enemy by tormenting us inwardly (eating us alive) and persecuting others outwardly (hurting people hurt others). We must choose which master we will serve.

Unforgiveness is also a form of disobedience, selfishness, idolatry and pride. It is haughtiness that rises up and says, "I'm entitled to process this my way because they hurt me." Truth be told, this is a victim mentality. By choosing unforgiveness, we remain controlled by the person who hurt us, claiming this hurt as our portion (a lie from the enemy), and we choose our self and our hurt over God. This choice, this sin, opens the door for the enemy to gain strongholds in our hearts and destroy us, making us an instrument of destruction. Again, we must choose which master we will serve.

Jesus prayed, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matt. 6:12). Therefore, if we forgive others, we will be forgiven. But if we do not, God will not forgive us (Matt. 6:14-15). This is a powerful and loving precept that sets us free. God holds us accountable for what we hold in our heart, even if others have hurt us. When we do our part, He deals with the situation and the person who wronged us for us. Hebrews 10:30-31 says, "'VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY.' And again, 'THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE.' It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God." Let us have faith in God's word, His truth.

If you struggle with unforgiveness, I encourage you to let the hurt go with God's help. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you who you need to forgive. Confess having walked in the sin of unforgiveness. Ask the Lord to heal and purify your heart and convict the other person's heart concerning the wrong. Then sincerely intercede for that person, blessing them, speaking healing and deliverance over them (just as Jesus would do). Then release them to the Lord. Rest assured, the faithful and almighty God we serve will take this burden off your heart and handle it in His higher way for you.

A Wise Man's Take.... on our economy

2008-10-06T15:56:00.001-07:00

Those who know me well, know that I fully support Ron Paul, and his brand of Jefferson-style Republican ideology.

Here is the latest post from his Congressional webpage. Please peruse at leisure.

"The Do-Something Congress
It has not been a good week for the Republic. It took quite a bit of trampling of the Constitution, but the bailout bill passed, as I suspected it would.

The bailout failed the first time it was brought to the House. Undaunted, the Senate pressed on by attaching the bailout as an amendment to another House passed bill that was pending in the Senate. The new bailout version had new taxes, so according to the Constitution it should not have originated in the Senate.

The rallying cry heard all over the Hill the past two weeks was that Congress must act. Our economy is facing a meltdown. Would this bill fix it? Nobody could really explain how it would. In fact, few demonstrated any real understanding of credit markets, of derivatives, of credit default swaps or mortgage-backed securities. If they did, they would have known better than to vote for this bill. All they knew was that this administration was saying some frightening things, and asking for a lot of money. And when has Congress ever been able to come up with a better solution to a problem than to throw more of your money at it? So that is what Congress did, enacting a financial PATRIOT Act in the process.

In its embarrassment at being called a "Do-Nothing Congress" the 110th Congress took decisive action and did SOMETHING. No matter that it was the wrong thing. In fact, it wasn't until the Senate had a chance to load it up with even MORE spending, when it was finally inflationary and horrible enough, at $850 billion instead of a mere $700 billion, that it passed – and with a comfortable margin, in spite of constituent calls still coming in overwhelmingly against it. 57 members switched their vote!

The market went down anyway. Our nation is now just that much more in the hole. You will pay your part of this mess through inflation, and very likely hyperinflation.

Sometimes doing nothing is much better than thrashing about aimlessly. When one is caught in quicksand, for example, or when one doesn't understand economics and finds oneself in the position Congress was in for the past two weeks, with decades of irresponsible monetary policy coming to a head. Why should we trust the same people who said just a few months ago that the economy was perfectly sound? The same people who just knew there were weapons of mass destruction? The same people that crammed the PATRIOT Act down our throats? Why not consult the people who had the foresight and understanding to see this coming? They would have recommended such logical actions as repealing the Community Reinvestment Act, which forces banks to make bad loans, or allowing the market to set interest rates instead of the Federal Reserve system. How about abolishing the Federal Reserve altogether? There are many things that could have been done, but don’t expect Congress take a course of action that comes from a place of understanding and competence when they could just spend money.

This bailout will be the legacy of the 110th "Do-Something" Congress, along with record low approval ratings. Here's hoping the 111th Congress will be a "Do the Right Thing" Congress, and will focus on repealing and abolishing what is wrong with government instead of reinforcing it."

Something Old, Something Blue...

2008-10-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning feeling..... antsy. Anxious. My thoughts flew around in circles, rattling around in my brain pan. (That is an actual anatomical term, can you believe it?) I'm having incredible trouble focusing. I keep trying to breathe deep, and just get on with the process of "getting on with it".

Just read a post, though, from my friend in Christ, Michelle. Her thoughts really echoed where I am finding myself, this morning, grasping at straws and wondering what I've done, in severing the ties of my most immediate two-year "past".

I'm a new Christian. I am still stumbling. I am still trying to find my way on this journey, and therein lies the problem. Always. It amazes me that my own simple words, and thought processes reveal the actual root of all of my problems:

I am still trying to find MY OWN WAY on this journey.

Wow. Talk about resonance phenomena. Today, is one of those days. I have a choice, right now, in this very moment as I sit typing, the words I am laying down on screen echoing what I hear in my mind's eye. (ear?)

How much do I really trust Christ?
Do I truly believe that God is in control, and has a purpose?
A purpose, just for me? (unworthy, inconsequential, nutty little me.... seriously?)

If I truly DO believe and TRUST, I am definitely NOT acting like it.
Not this morning, and if I'll be honest, not for the majority of the last (almost) year since I accepted Christ into my heart as my savior.

I have done things which must seriously grieve the Lord, simply due to His overwhelming love, for unworthy, inconsequential, nutty little me.

And I was honestly considering repeating some of those very selfsame things, for the last hour and a half.

God truly is great. For without seemingly-coincidental interventions, I would not have had this moment of clarity.

A video worth watching....

2008-10-03T22:40:00.001-07:00

God's Love At Work...

2008-10-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

This was in my email this (Oct 01) morning:

Week of September 28
Peace

". . . by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross." Colossians 1:20

Jesus was and is the new blood covenant of peace. This truth was foretold to the prophet Isaiah in 9:6, "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given . . . and He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Verse 7 goes on to say that there is no end to His peace.

Directly related to salvation through Jesus Christ, peace is a gift, freely given to us. When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, we receive Him and His peace.
In the Hebrew language, peace is translated as "shalom," which means safety, completeness, prosperity, fulfillment, victory, success, health and blessing.
Encarta Dictionary defines peace as " . . . the time when a war or conflict ends . . . a state of mental serenity, with no anxiety."

Clearly, peace is directly linked to the presence of God. It is also a reward of careful obedience. In fact, peace is translated from the Latin word "placibilis," which means "pleasing" and from Latin "placere," which means "to please."

Since our primary purpose as Christians is to please God, not people, if we walk in careful obedience to Biblical precepts and the Holy Spirit's directives, no matter what others think or say or do, we walk in peace.

However, when we choose to move from obedience to disobedience and from faith to fear, we distance ourselves from peace (Is. 48:22, 57:21).

Judges 2 has much to say about how choices of disobedience offer defeat, distress and destruction. In this chapter, although God did not break His covenant with the Israelites, He did lift His hand of favor off of them when they disobeyed, allowing them to reap painful consequences.

Even so, our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He will restore peace in our lives when we cry out in repentance to Him. This usually involves a process.

Consider the story of Gideon, a mighty warrior, whom God called to strike down Israel's long-time oppressors, the Midianites, and restore peace (Judges 6:7-24). Gideon was the "least" in his family and had the weakest clan of men. Yet because God had purposed restoration for the Israelites, His favor was upon Gideon to defeat Israel's enemies. No way could Gideon restore peace by himself. Only with God could he complete his mission.

Likewise, only with God's help can we walk uprightly and affect peace for those around us because God, Himself, is the grantor of peace. And peace is a reward of His righteousness.

If there are areas in our lives where the Holy Spirit is prompting us to cry out to God in repentance and restoration of peace, may we trust that He awaits our cry, He will hear us, and He will respond with love.

May we be led forth in peace, experiencing the fullness and joy of this great blessing that is given to us freely as saints in God's Kingdom. And may we share this fruit of the Spirit, the peace that surpasses understanding with those who have yet to receive His truth and love.

The First Post...

2008-10-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

The title of the blog comes from an essay written by Sven Birkerts, titled "The Owl Has Flown". The essay came from the book titled The Gutenberg Elegies.

"Awed and intimidated by the availability of texts, faced with the all but impossible task of discriminating among them, the reader tends to move across surfaces, skimming, hastening from one site to the next without allowing the words to resonate inwardly".

The essay really moved me, and I've been considering leaving both myspace and iam for quite some time, as I use the sites only as an expository vault. Feeding my ego, perhaps, but I'm not inclined to look at the pretty pictures everyone has posted, nor am I interested in reading the latest gossip on "our celebrities" or see pictures of half nude women and men strutting across the screens in advertisements for finding a "sugar daddy/momma" for a mate. Truly, not what I am interested in.

A friend moved to this blogsite, and shortly thereafter, another friend left iam, and declared that in doing so, she was leaving behind good friends, but that the call of the Lord should not be sullied with the template/medium of delivery.

Good choice, I think.

And so. Here it is.

Proverbs 3
Exhortations to Seek Wisdom and Walk with the Lord 1
3:1 My child, 2 do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep 3 my commandments,
3:2 for they will provide 4 a long and full life, 5
and they will add well-being 6 to you.
3:3 Do not let truth and mercy 7 leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart. 8
3:4 Then you will find 9 favor and good understanding, 10
in the sight of God and people. 11
3:5 Trust 12 in the Lord with all your heart, 13
and do not rely 14 on your own understanding. 15
3:6 Acknowledge 16 him in all your ways, 17
and he will make your paths straight. 18
3:7 Do not be wise in your own estimation; 19
fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 20
3:8 This will bring 21 healing to your body, 22
and refreshment 23 to your inner self. 24
3:9 Honor 25 the Lord from your wealth
and from the first fruits of all your crops; 26
3:10 then your barns will be filled completely, 27
and your vats 28 will overflow 29 with new wine.
3:11 My child, do not despise discipline from the Lord, 30
and do not loathe 31 his rebuke.
3:12 For the Lord disciplines 32 those he loves,
just as a father 33 disciplines 34 the son in whom he delights.

Resonance Phenomena

more days than I can possibly count....

Excerpt from Renee Swope's book "7 Day Doubt Diet"

God, and Alaska.... some thoughts.

Come Fly With Me, Let's Fly, Let's Fly Away....

The Jezebel Spirit--some thoughts

New Ties, Breaking Ties, Nuances of Life...

The beauty of being broken is that the repair job is amazing.

Thursday, September 9, 2010 - Remembering May...

The Lord Smells Like Sweet Oranges and Chamomile....

August 21, 2010... really?

Filling Our Needs: Ephesians 3:14-19

John 2 - Three Things

John 1 - Three Things

Ephesians, Three Things

No water? No problem for these Jordanian farmers.

Twenty Ten?

Who I am in Christ--I believe it, because He says so!

Top Words on FB from my posts..... how cool!?

Joel Salatin advocates a better way to raise food | csmonitor.com

Breaking the Cycle... A Daily, plus, my evening!!!!

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER

No matter what our circumstances, God meets us there with his grace.

Chastening yourself only leads to further shame, but God's loving words heal! You just have to Believe Him!

A Prayer.... for each and every morning!

Let It Go!

There is no power in the means themselves without the presence of Christ

a repost

The Importance of Fellowship

so what does it really mean, to surrender?

Two thought-provoking posts from Margaret Mitchell

Self-Awareness = Self Realization = Self Love = Accepting God's Love

Isaiah 55 - NIV

Using God as your Life Inspiration....

For any who wonder... this is the utmost compelling reason to become Christian Agrarian....

Moving Into The Future.... A Prayer by Stormie Omartian

When God whispers, we tend to ignore it or overlook it. But when He shouts, you REALLY have to pay attention. It is impossible to ignore.

Forty Day Journey With Purpose

Defeating Negativity...

After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace . . . Will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10

Billie Holiday "All of Me"...

Conditional vs. Unconditional Love

almost 15 days later, more pictures, more insights....

70° and super ☼... I'm loving it! (will edit later with more veggie pictures!)

a few things... Gardening pics, Exodus 4 and Matthew Henry's Commentary

Greens, Greens, Greens....

Humility... one of God's Lessons

Here's to the end of an era....

Stalin, Obama, and incompetent snow-drivers....

Tavener's Svyati: O Holy One, and Oswald Chambers

Oswald Chambers...truly a blessed soul to pass on insight and strength

The Value of Prayer

God's Word, Matthew Henry, Thomas Jefferson, Wendell Berry, et al.

Living Fearlessly...

Composting Toilet... odor-free? I'm VERY interested in learning more....

Seriously? You've GOT to be kidding me....

Rediscovering Quiet

God's Word

Ask, and You Shall Receive

Oh One More Thing Quick!

A Much-Blessed Day.... Memories and Ponderings of November 11

God's Hand....

Ron Paul, Oct 29, 2008

The Blessing of Thoughtlessness

A Mighty Comeuppance...

Essay Writing, Tallow/Lard Rendering, and God's Everlasting Word!

God's Love At Work

"Confidence Is Leaving the Fiat Money System" and other juicy tidbits!

Economic Depressions: Their Cause and Cure by Murry Rothbard

Spam, Fresh Food, and God!

God's Love At Work

A Wise Man's Take.... on our economy

Something Old, Something Blue...

A video worth watching....

God's Love At Work...

The First Post...