“For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb. I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.” (Psalm 139:13-14)
So I was doing some poking around online, and came across one of my friend Michelle's posts. I was thrilled to read it. THRILLED. And I realized that I haven't posted anything here since I left the lower 48.
I've been in this weird up/down state since the plane touched the tarmac. First thing, I got lost in the airport. Really. I did. Everything looked the same, sort of. But then when I got down to where I just knew the baggage claim was.... well, it wasn't there. They'd changed it. Have you ever gone through an environment where you just KNOW where everything is supposed to be, because you've gone there so many times, but then this last time, it all looked the same, yet it didn't? I've lost my way, a bit.
I knew going into this that it would not be easy. That was the point of going this way. I knew that if I'd stayed where I was comfortable, I would not have grown. I would have stagnated. So I followed His leading, and here I am. UNCOMFORTABLE. God and I have the most amazing relationship, we honestly do. We argue all the time. Rather, I argue, He smiles at me in tender loving, and then I do my own thing, convinced that I am right..... and eventually I submit to Him. Yes, Father, you were right. (Of Course.)
The thing is, I know that He's been with me this entire time. I know this. I have a peace about being here, even though it's so uncomfortable for me. Ravens have been talking to me. Non-stop. I hear them every morning and they are having such great conversations. It's one of the things that I have missed most about Home. It's hard to explain how the soil of a place gets beneath your skin so much that you don't realize that it's there until you're not there. Alaska is, and always will be, HOME.
It's interesting to me, being here again. Everything is different, yet it's the same. It's as I said earlier: you know where things are, yet.... you don't, quite. It's disorienting to say the least. My first full day back, we did some "sight-seeing", basically just driving around town to look around and show me what had changed. Oh my goodness, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED!!! Most of the buildings that I knew before are still here, but now streets are wider, things look just slightly off, and of course there are more buildings, newer buildings. I was in complete shock. I think the shock is beginning to wear off.... sort of. This feeling of disorientation is like nothing I've ever felt before. I feel like it is beginning to wear off, though, finally. I've been sort of holed up, trying to find my sea legs/land legs again. I feel like it's time to venture forth, however. I FEEL Him present, gently pushing me out, watching my legs wobble a bit, His hand right behind me, ready to scoop me up should I stumble.
Today, I am headed out to the Loussac, one of the libraries here in town. I remember this library so much from my youth. I'm EXCITED to go there again. It feels like FOREVER.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Come Fly With Me, Let's Fly, Let's Fly Away....
This time, three days from now I will be on a plane. It's strange realizing that I am leaving Bellingham after such a long sojourn here. Honestly, though, I am more excited than sad to be kicking off the dirt from my heels and flying, flying away. It's been more years than I care to remember away from home, but God is indeed calling me home. It would be far more comfortable for me to stay in quiet little Bellingham. Here, I know the rules, I know the people, the spots. Returning, returning is about re-learning, and re-discovering what I left. I know that it will not be the same as what I left previously, and that is an exciting thing, in and of itself. When I went home in 2004, I was in so much pain I could barely see the world around me. Everything was red and bright and too much. After two months, I ran away, back where it was most comfortable. In 2007, when I last visited, things had begun to feel different. And now, 2011. I am actually returning. Permanently. I doubt that I will return to little quiet Bellingham for much other than a visit. But Alaska, Alaska is singing to me, and I hear her, loud and clear. More, though, I hear God, clearing the way for me to return. That is most precious of all.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Jezebel Spirit--some thoughts
The past few months have been interesting. I can feel a constant push/pull tug of war going on and it's exciting to be able to feel such things within me, as well as to see how it interacts with the world around me. One interesting change I've noted: "stories" in the Old Testament & New Testament aren't just "stories" anymore. They've become real on a more personal level, so much so that I've begun to see that the influences of the deep past are still prevalent today. They are still knocking around, still gaining a hold and threatening to tear those who love God most into itty-bitty shreds, a millimeter at a time. Doesn't seem like it's much at first, a millimeter. But it's rather like a jar of pennies. At first the little bits of copper don't seem like much, til the glass bouy you have them in shatters under the weight of all that copper.
I've been reading up on Jezebel. I think most people immediately associate the word Jezebel with promiscuity, lasciviousness, wantonness, sexual immorality, etc... But what I don't think a lot of people see is the underside of the Jezebel spirit: the manipulation, the control, the power-seeking hunger, the overreaching sense of SELF involved.They also don't see the counterpart to Jezebel: her husband Ahab, who to all intents and purposes was emasculated by his wife, thoroughly controlled, who basically abdicated his throne in favor of her rule (all behind the scenes of course). Here's the best part: Jezebel was a VERY devout woman. VERY DEVOUT. However, she violated the cardinal rule: Thou shalt have no other gods before Me (including the god of SELF, Baal, and Ashteroth).
Being fully submitted to God is hard work. Admitting that I am very good friends with the Spirit of Jezebel is humbling, and humiliating. Recognizing that I have walked in these shoes for 17 years, never realizing what I was doing to my partners, nor myself, is a test of self-awareness and openness to God's hand as nothing ever before. I still struggle, desperately at times, against my desire for a husband, a mate. And while I desire it, I still fear it, fear what I may turn into, as a wife. Do I lose respect for my husband? What if I make a mistake? What if what if what if....
It all goes back to being submitted to God. And it IS hard work, the hardest work I've ever undertaken in my entire life. However, if I'd wanted the easy life, I would have been married five times over by this point in time.
Long story short: daily awareness of submission is important, vastly far more important than whether or not a client has called in, returned paperwork, a coworker drives you nuts, someone from your small group who doesn't respect you, the fact that you're unhappy in your marriage, you feel desperately alone, your kids are heathen monsters, or the fact that the earth is currently going to hell in a handbasket and our nation is driving. Trusting in God, being SUBMITTED TO GOD, means trusting Him with the small stuff. Really. After all, He takes care of you, doesn't He? :P
I've been reading up on Jezebel. I think most people immediately associate the word Jezebel with promiscuity, lasciviousness, wantonness, sexual immorality, etc... But what I don't think a lot of people see is the underside of the Jezebel spirit: the manipulation, the control, the power-seeking hunger, the overreaching sense of SELF involved.They also don't see the counterpart to Jezebel: her husband Ahab, who to all intents and purposes was emasculated by his wife, thoroughly controlled, who basically abdicated his throne in favor of her rule (all behind the scenes of course). Here's the best part: Jezebel was a VERY devout woman. VERY DEVOUT. However, she violated the cardinal rule: Thou shalt have no other gods before Me (including the god of SELF, Baal, and Ashteroth).
Being fully submitted to God is hard work. Admitting that I am very good friends with the Spirit of Jezebel is humbling, and humiliating. Recognizing that I have walked in these shoes for 17 years, never realizing what I was doing to my partners, nor myself, is a test of self-awareness and openness to God's hand as nothing ever before. I still struggle, desperately at times, against my desire for a husband, a mate. And while I desire it, I still fear it, fear what I may turn into, as a wife. Do I lose respect for my husband? What if I make a mistake? What if what if what if....
It all goes back to being submitted to God. And it IS hard work, the hardest work I've ever undertaken in my entire life. However, if I'd wanted the easy life, I would have been married five times over by this point in time.
Long story short: daily awareness of submission is important, vastly far more important than whether or not a client has called in, returned paperwork, a coworker drives you nuts, someone from your small group who doesn't respect you, the fact that you're unhappy in your marriage, you feel desperately alone, your kids are heathen monsters, or the fact that the earth is currently going to hell in a handbasket and our nation is driving. Trusting in God, being SUBMITTED TO GOD, means trusting Him with the small stuff. Really. After all, He takes care of you, doesn't He? :P
Sunday, December 5, 2010
New Ties, Breaking Ties, Nuances of Life...
It's interesting to me, how life seems to fly by at the blink of an eye. The Lord has me in Ezekiel, and Habakkuk, and Malachi. I left my Thursday evening Bible Study group. Just felt so led to go deeper with God, and felt that He was asking me to nest with Him, silent, in the stillness. It's hard to explain. I'm actually not as lonely as I was afraid I would be. I enjoy living alone, I have discovered. I love the fact that it is quiet, and peaceful, and still when I need it to be. After the past two weeks of falling asleep by 8:30pm, last night I was awake until 10 or 11pm. Then I woke up at 2:30am. How strange. I was definitely awake for a reason, and for some reason kept having thoughts of all the HUGE mistakes I've made in my life thus far. It was interesting, to say the least. After an hour of tossing and turning, struggling to fall back asleep, I rolled over onto my back, lay there, shut my eyes, and begged God to please take this from me so that I could sleep. Probably the first time I have ever actually done something like that, asking for a simple ease of my thoughts. I actually found that it worked. I was asleep within moments.
I love how He shows me, constantly, how nothing is too big, nor too small, for my Lord. I love how He shows me, in so many ways, that He loves me and cares for me, even down to the tiniest, smallest, most seemingly insignificant detail.
THAT is what faith is all about.
I'm learning. Slowly at times, yet still.... I am learning.
I love how He shows me, constantly, how nothing is too big, nor too small, for my Lord. I love how He shows me, in so many ways, that He loves me and cares for me, even down to the tiniest, smallest, most seemingly insignificant detail.
THAT is what faith is all about.
I'm learning. Slowly at times, yet still.... I am learning.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The beauty of being broken is that the repair job is amazing.
By far my biggest challenge in my amazing walk with Christ has been my habit of picking men who ignore me in one way or another [daddy issues, yes I know... I'm a work in progress]. Having a presence in my life that goes out of their way to make themselves known to me, who actively pursues me, who absolutely NEVER ignores me and makes sure that I realize they are there.... well it's freaky. And sometimes it makes me want to come out of my skin because it is so unknown, so uncomfortable.
No human can fulfill this desire, this desire for completeness, this desire for the trampoline for my falls. I feel so overwhelmed by emotion when I think about the faithfulness of God. I started a Book of Miracles, on the suggestion of a friend, because there are so many clear concrete examples in my life that I hope to never ever forget them.
Perhaps what stuns me the most is the clear communication I get from Him on High. There's really no ambiguity. It's very black and white, with no real wiggle room. I honestly believe it's because I'm so frickin' stubborn that I don't listen until it IS absolutely black and white, no wiggle room. I realize every single time when I'm smacked upside the head who is doing this, where this comes from, why this is happening. I remember when Parke left over a year ago, and the wedding bells crashed, who was doing this. I didn't like the feeling, but I still knew that this was supposed to happen. I fought it, for five months..... but I still knew, deep down, that we weren't supposed to get married, I just couldn't admit it because my ego was too wrapped up in this "perfect" guy and his perfect family. I have come to the realization that the love I felt from his family kept me going far longer than our relationship actually did. Again, still seeking to fill that huge void, that black hole in my soul. Freedom is painful as hell.... I won't lie. The process of rending is like having your soul ripped out through your bellybutton. Sometimes you hurt so bad, all you can do is run away from polite civilization, up into the mtns and the trees, and pound and scream your fury and your hurt broken heart out into a tree.... something that won't break from your rage, your fury. Last year I did that more times than I can recount, in the midst of running back into his arms. [I did mention that I am stubborn...] Finally I couldn't stand the running. I gave in. I surrendered. On my knees, broken, sundered.
The beauty of being broken is that the repair job is amazing. The cracks still exist, that's called learning experiences. Much like my tattoos... all incredibly hard lessons to have learned, but beyond valuable to my growth and the state of my being, my soul. Much like my absolute adoration of crows feet, and scars on people. They tell a story, much like music does. I adore my scars and my silvers and my crows feet.... they say that a person has lived. The LIVING IS WHAT MATTERS. Obey without freaking question, and you are amply rewarded, rewarded beyond measure. I cannot explain this enough, with clarity for those with ears to hear. I heard it repeatedly before I finally got it. But.... I got it.
Just Breathe..... and let go. Fly.
No human can fulfill this desire, this desire for completeness, this desire for the trampoline for my falls. I feel so overwhelmed by emotion when I think about the faithfulness of God. I started a Book of Miracles, on the suggestion of a friend, because there are so many clear concrete examples in my life that I hope to never ever forget them.
Perhaps what stuns me the most is the clear communication I get from Him on High. There's really no ambiguity. It's very black and white, with no real wiggle room. I honestly believe it's because I'm so frickin' stubborn that I don't listen until it IS absolutely black and white, no wiggle room. I realize every single time when I'm smacked upside the head who is doing this, where this comes from, why this is happening. I remember when Parke left over a year ago, and the wedding bells crashed, who was doing this. I didn't like the feeling, but I still knew that this was supposed to happen. I fought it, for five months..... but I still knew, deep down, that we weren't supposed to get married, I just couldn't admit it because my ego was too wrapped up in this "perfect" guy and his perfect family. I have come to the realization that the love I felt from his family kept me going far longer than our relationship actually did. Again, still seeking to fill that huge void, that black hole in my soul. Freedom is painful as hell.... I won't lie. The process of rending is like having your soul ripped out through your bellybutton. Sometimes you hurt so bad, all you can do is run away from polite civilization, up into the mtns and the trees, and pound and scream your fury and your hurt broken heart out into a tree.... something that won't break from your rage, your fury. Last year I did that more times than I can recount, in the midst of running back into his arms. [I did mention that I am stubborn...] Finally I couldn't stand the running. I gave in. I surrendered. On my knees, broken, sundered.
The beauty of being broken is that the repair job is amazing. The cracks still exist, that's called learning experiences. Much like my tattoos... all incredibly hard lessons to have learned, but beyond valuable to my growth and the state of my being, my soul. Much like my absolute adoration of crows feet, and scars on people. They tell a story, much like music does. I adore my scars and my silvers and my crows feet.... they say that a person has lived. The LIVING IS WHAT MATTERS. Obey without freaking question, and you are amply rewarded, rewarded beyond measure. I cannot explain this enough, with clarity for those with ears to hear. I heard it repeatedly before I finally got it. But.... I got it.
Just Breathe..... and let go. Fly.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010 - Remembering May...
I wanted to write about this, because I have come to the realization in the last six months that He truly IS present in ALL the little things. I am CONSTANTLY surrounded by the Lord. So many people scoff and roll their eyes, preferring to believe that God is in this safe box on high, unattainable, too holy by far to bother with us and our trivialities of existence. I finally realized the reason for this... pure unadulterated FEAR. God is OVER-FREAKING-WHELMING to me. Tears fall freely, and it's not driven by sadness by any means, but rather because I am PHYSICALLY OVERWHELMED by what He does to me, how He has worked in my life, how He continues to care for me, day in, day out. He truly IS the trampoline for my falls. Every day I feel like He peels off another layer of my old self, every day a new pair of budding wings are revealed, every day I am that much more free. I got out of the shower this last weekend at the beach, noticed myself in the mirror, and was genuinely happy and accepting of what I saw, naked. I. Am. BEAUTIFUL. I adore my body, and yes, some parts could be tighter, toner, firmer. But honestly? I'm built the way I am and I enjoy it, and I approve of me. I APPROVE OF ME. Do you have ANY freaking idea how AWESOME that is???????????????
_______________
Monday, May 17, 2010
John 2 - Three Things
What is God like?
God himself is present in all things. He takes an interest in the predicament of the poor (they ran out of wine). He works miracles with water, the very element of life. He not only changes water into wine, but He changes it into the very BEST wine, the choicest of vintages.
He also demands respect for His house, and will physically drive out and reprimand those who take His house for granted.
He refuses to perform on command, given by unbelievers, but rather still offers promises that He fulfills in the fullness of time.
He does not need a man's testimony or confession because he already knows a man, inside and out.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
Sometimes I have a really hard time realizing or at least, making it part of my every day living reality that He really is present in all things, every little thing. I have no trouble realizing that He is present in the big things, for some reason that's not an issue for me. I feel that it's probably the same for a lot of people, too. But for me, I really have issues with living with the daily awareness that He is literally IN all things, present, always.....
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will be more aware of His presence in all of the little things.....
_______________
Monday, May 17, 2010
John 2 - Three Things
What is God like?
God himself is present in all things. He takes an interest in the predicament of the poor (they ran out of wine). He works miracles with water, the very element of life. He not only changes water into wine, but He changes it into the very BEST wine, the choicest of vintages.
He also demands respect for His house, and will physically drive out and reprimand those who take His house for granted.
He refuses to perform on command, given by unbelievers, but rather still offers promises that He fulfills in the fullness of time.
He does not need a man's testimony or confession because he already knows a man, inside and out.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
Sometimes I have a really hard time realizing or at least, making it part of my every day living reality that He really is present in all things, every little thing. I have no trouble realizing that He is present in the big things, for some reason that's not an issue for me. I feel that it's probably the same for a lot of people, too. But for me, I really have issues with living with the daily awareness that He is literally IN all things, present, always.....
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will be more aware of His presence in all of the little things.....
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Lord Smells Like Sweet Oranges and Chamomile....
I wanted to share something... Sunday during prayer, I smelled the most amazing smell, sweet yet not cloying, not overbearing. One of my favorite scents, the smell of oranges and chamomile. I asked the ladies praying over me if they were wearing oranges and chamomile, none were. I grinned because I knew it was the Lord, my God, gifting me with His presence!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
August 21, 2010... really?
I mean, really? I've realized quite recently that I stopped posting in May. I have so much of a huge gap to fill here, I have to, have to do this!
Sitting at work right now, [clearly not working, but hey I'm off the clock!] listening to Etta James sing "If I Had You". I am struck by the realization that all love songs could really be turned to reflect one's overwhelming feelings of love for our Savior and Lord. Sounds super corny, but seriously? It's SO true.
Some time ago, I removed my "Grace" ring from my wedding finger. It was an intentional move on my part, the thought that first impressions would indicate that I was married, and thus perhaps one who was interested, wouldn't ask. God has brought so much up to the forefront of my heart these past few months, and honestly I've never felt so much peace in my entire life. Then other people show up from my past and I am truly rocked by past behaviors, past lifestyles and interests, and suddenly I'm in the midst of a huge angsty-fit and feeling distracted constantly by what surrounds me. Talk about chaos. I missed my calm! My peace!! Where did it go!?!?! Wracked by my confusion and doubt... not sure what was going on, why I was feeling such things, given my incredible peace of before.
But last night, wham. He brought everything to a head and asked point blank: "Fleshly union, marriage? Or Me?" and... "How much do you trust Me? Really?"
So. Long story short, the Grace ring is back on my ring finger. If God brings someone into my life, he will ask further. It's that simple. And guess what?
PEACE IS BACK.
Sitting at work right now, [clearly not working, but hey I'm off the clock!] listening to Etta James sing "If I Had You". I am struck by the realization that all love songs could really be turned to reflect one's overwhelming feelings of love for our Savior and Lord. Sounds super corny, but seriously? It's SO true.
Some time ago, I removed my "Grace" ring from my wedding finger. It was an intentional move on my part, the thought that first impressions would indicate that I was married, and thus perhaps one who was interested, wouldn't ask. God has brought so much up to the forefront of my heart these past few months, and honestly I've never felt so much peace in my entire life. Then other people show up from my past and I am truly rocked by past behaviors, past lifestyles and interests, and suddenly I'm in the midst of a huge angsty-fit and feeling distracted constantly by what surrounds me. Talk about chaos. I missed my calm! My peace!! Where did it go!?!?! Wracked by my confusion and doubt... not sure what was going on, why I was feeling such things, given my incredible peace of before.
But last night, wham. He brought everything to a head and asked point blank: "Fleshly union, marriage? Or Me?" and... "How much do you trust Me? Really?"
So. Long story short, the Grace ring is back on my ring finger. If God brings someone into my life, he will ask further. It's that simple. And guess what?
PEACE IS BACK.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Filling Our Needs: Ephesians 3:14-19
Identifying our shortcomings should help to clarify our needs. We need resources, inner strength, love, direction, and power. And we don’t just need these things once, we need them to be replenished constantly because it seems that we keep running out.
The apostle Paul prayed, “From his [God’s] glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you . . . experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. . . . Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 3:16-19; 5:17-18).
The words made complete and filled in these passages mean “to fill up completely” or “to make full.” The verb tense used indicates that this is an ongoing process—we are to be made complete and filled up continually. True recovery only comes as we find a way to fill up the needs in our lives. Wherever we are short, God has the resources, love, direction, strength, and power to meet our needs. We can invite the Holy Spirit to fill us up every day.
God’s love reaches into every corner of our experience.
NewLife Ministries
The apostle Paul prayed, “From his [God’s] glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you . . . experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. . . . Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 3:16-19; 5:17-18).
The words made complete and filled in these passages mean “to fill up completely” or “to make full.” The verb tense used indicates that this is an ongoing process—we are to be made complete and filled up continually. True recovery only comes as we find a way to fill up the needs in our lives. Wherever we are short, God has the resources, love, direction, strength, and power to meet our needs. We can invite the Holy Spirit to fill us up every day.
God’s love reaches into every corner of our experience.
NewLife Ministries
Monday, May 17, 2010
John 2 - Three Things
What is God like?
God himself is present in all things. He takes an interest in the predicament of the poor (they ran out of wine). He works miracles with water, the very element of life. He not only changes water into wine, but He changes it into the very BEST wine, the choicest of vintages.
He also demands respect for His house, and will physically drive out and reprimand those who take His house for granted.
He refuses to perform on command, given by unbelievers, but rather still offers promises that He fulfills in the fullness of time.
He does not need a man's testimony or confession because he already knows a man, inside and out.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
Sometimes I have a really hard time realizing or at least, making it part of my every day living reality that He really is present in all things, every little thing. I have no trouble realizing that He is present in the big things, for some reason that's not an issue for me. I feel that it's probably the same for a lot of people, too. But for me, I really have issues with living with the daily awareness that He is literally IN all things, present, always.....
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will be more aware of His presence in all of the little things.....
God himself is present in all things. He takes an interest in the predicament of the poor (they ran out of wine). He works miracles with water, the very element of life. He not only changes water into wine, but He changes it into the very BEST wine, the choicest of vintages.
He also demands respect for His house, and will physically drive out and reprimand those who take His house for granted.
He refuses to perform on command, given by unbelievers, but rather still offers promises that He fulfills in the fullness of time.
He does not need a man's testimony or confession because he already knows a man, inside and out.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
Sometimes I have a really hard time realizing or at least, making it part of my every day living reality that He really is present in all things, every little thing. I have no trouble realizing that He is present in the big things, for some reason that's not an issue for me. I feel that it's probably the same for a lot of people, too. But for me, I really have issues with living with the daily awareness that He is literally IN all things, present, always.....
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will be more aware of His presence in all of the little things.....
John 1 - Three Things
What is God like?
God IS everything, IN everything, always there. God is LIFE. God is LIGHT. God is the giver of a second childhood that blesses and uplifts, that does not condemn. God is full of grace and truth, the truth that shines deep within and illuminates from the inside out. God is glorious. God gives one blessing after another, we cannot begin to count them all. God is manifest in our lives, God has taken away the sin of the world, God made Himself the sacrificial Lamb in order to take away that sin. God calls out those who He wants a personal relationship with, persistent. God renames us in His glory and discernment. God sees us, even when we do not see Him.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
Sometimes I am condemning of myself, and that translates into having a condemning heart towards others, even if I don't say it, it comes across in my spiritual flavor. I can accept that God does not condemn me, which increases my acceptance of myself, and automatically allows for acceptance of others.
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will focus on being a reflection of His light. Today, I will close my eyes and embrace the image of His illumination shining out of every pore. Today, I will accept myself, and in turn embrace acceptance towards others.
God IS everything, IN everything, always there. God is LIFE. God is LIGHT. God is the giver of a second childhood that blesses and uplifts, that does not condemn. God is full of grace and truth, the truth that shines deep within and illuminates from the inside out. God is glorious. God gives one blessing after another, we cannot begin to count them all. God is manifest in our lives, God has taken away the sin of the world, God made Himself the sacrificial Lamb in order to take away that sin. God calls out those who He wants a personal relationship with, persistent. God renames us in His glory and discernment. God sees us, even when we do not see Him.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
Sometimes I am condemning of myself, and that translates into having a condemning heart towards others, even if I don't say it, it comes across in my spiritual flavor. I can accept that God does not condemn me, which increases my acceptance of myself, and automatically allows for acceptance of others.
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will focus on being a reflection of His light. Today, I will close my eyes and embrace the image of His illumination shining out of every pore. Today, I will accept myself, and in turn embrace acceptance towards others.
Ephesians, Three Things
There are three chapters that I have done so far in Ephesians. I share this specific book every Friday with a friend in North Carolina; we each do the reading/questions on our own, then we read each other's posts and comment. It's fantastic because what comes up is almost always something different for each of us, and yet when we read the other, so many more dots are connected for us. It just feels as if God is SO moving us, asking us to contemplate things of His nature, and bringing it back to SPECIFICS. It's fine and dandy to talk in lofty terms, but the real trick is bringing it to the specifics.... that, I feel, is where real change begins to happen!!!
_________________
EPHESIANS 1
What is God like?
He blesses us
He chose us before the beginning of time
He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters of Christ
He forgives us
He has grace towards us
He has a purpose for us
He has sealed us to Him for all eternity
He gives us wisdom in Him and knowledge in Him
He gives us hope
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
I am not always a believer in God's grace towards me; I do not always believe that God has a purpose for me.
I need to believe in God's grace towards me. In believing more fully in God's grace towards me, I feel that I will be better able to have grace towards others. I can be very judgmental when I think someone could be doing something more efficiently, or if my way works really well for me, but I don't extend them the courtesy of letting them do it their own way. My way is the best way. Ha, right! My life shows EXACTLY how well my way works!!!!!
I need to believe that God has a purpose for me. I always thought my 'purpose' was to be a helper's mate to my husband. I always believed that I would be like a lioness, doing the dirty work and the rearing of children, all that stuff, if only I had a male to come around and help out when things got REALLY tough and I couldnt' do it all by myself [being faced down by a pack of starving hyenas, for example].... Kinda silly I know, but I've ALWAYS prided myself on my work ethic and my sense of 'can do!' and I've always felt that I was meant to be a workhorse for my husband because dammit, I'm capable and what man WOULDN'T want a wife who was as capable as I am!? Guh. Talk about OVERFUNCTIONING. I need to turn MY WILL over to God, to realize that HIS PURPOSE doesn't necessarily mean it's the same thing as MY purpose. God knows what He has in store for me, I need to stop planning and overfunctioning, and DROP THE BALL so that God can PICK IT UP.
What will I do today for Him?
Today I will stay in the Word! Today I will practice believing in God's grace towards me. Today, I will practice believing in God's purpose and will in my life. That means, letting go of planning. Open handed through each day! Not white-knuckling through the day!
_______
EPHESIANS 2
What is God like?
He makes us alive like we never were before.
He is rich in mercy.
He loves us as no one on this planet can possibly love us, truly 100% unconditionally.
He shows us his grace through his loving-kindness towards us, in his sacrifice.
He gifts us with these things, not because we are worthy or deserve them, but because He loves us that much, that He would give us His all.
He is peace.
He has broken down walls that keep us separate.
He has built us a home where we are always welcome.
He has built a home inside us, too, so that we are inhabited by His spirit.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
I am not nearly as merciful as I could be. Tonight on my way home from hanging out with BS crew I started rehashing conversations in my head--conversations that were completely fictional, conversations btwn my ex and myself, where I confronted him with his insanity and his clear illogic, his clear narcissism. I am not feeling merciful. I am feeling wrathful and full of judgment and holier than thou-ness.
I could honestly try to love MYSELF unconditionally. I usually tried to love everyone else but me unconditionally, but it never worked out right because I honestly was operating with a hidden agenda, one I was not even aware of. This agenda comes from not loving MYSELF unconditionally, of not accepting nor simply loving, who I am, where I am, AS I AM.
I will continue to tear down the walls that separate me from Him Most High.
What will I do today for Him?
Today, I will not stand in His way, in loving me, in accepting me, in giving me the gifts which He so much wants to give me. Today, I will accept in grace.
__________
EPHESIANS 3
What is God like?
He gives grace, as a gift.
He has revealed the mystery of the Son through His Spirit.
He shares the promise of Christ with us.
He works within us, using His holy power.
He created all things on heaven and on earth.
God is wisdom.
He is our Lord; through faith in Him He allows us to approach with confidence and true freedom.
He gives us confidence and freedom.
He strengthens our inner being, our soul, with His power, with the Holy Spirit.
He inhabits our hearts.
He has sown us as seeds with ultimate love, showering us with His love and blessing.
He fills us to the brim, full to bursting, with all that is Him Most High.
He can do everything and anything, far more than we can ever imagine or want.
He works His power within us.
What can I change to be more like Him?
Submit more fully to the Father's wisdom.
Walk with ever-increasing strength full of the knowledge of His love, and His blessing.
Be more willing to talk about my faith with others, regardless of their walks of life, or the constraint of situations .
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will praise Him for having the patience to wait for me!
Today I will praise Him for having the utmost love for me!
Today I will pray to Him, giving Him those three things that have been weighing on my heart the past few days.
Today, I will talk to someone about His remarkable presence and love, through which He rescued a scared young woman and gave incredible freedom and ever-gaining confidence!
_________________
EPHESIANS 1
What is God like?
He blesses us
He chose us before the beginning of time
He predestined us to adoption as sons and daughters of Christ
He forgives us
He has grace towards us
He has a purpose for us
He has sealed us to Him for all eternity
He gives us wisdom in Him and knowledge in Him
He gives us hope
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
I am not always a believer in God's grace towards me; I do not always believe that God has a purpose for me.
I need to believe in God's grace towards me. In believing more fully in God's grace towards me, I feel that I will be better able to have grace towards others. I can be very judgmental when I think someone could be doing something more efficiently, or if my way works really well for me, but I don't extend them the courtesy of letting them do it their own way. My way is the best way. Ha, right! My life shows EXACTLY how well my way works!!!!!
I need to believe that God has a purpose for me. I always thought my 'purpose' was to be a helper's mate to my husband. I always believed that I would be like a lioness, doing the dirty work and the rearing of children, all that stuff, if only I had a male to come around and help out when things got REALLY tough and I couldnt' do it all by myself [being faced down by a pack of starving hyenas, for example].... Kinda silly I know, but I've ALWAYS prided myself on my work ethic and my sense of 'can do!' and I've always felt that I was meant to be a workhorse for my husband because dammit, I'm capable and what man WOULDN'T want a wife who was as capable as I am!? Guh. Talk about OVERFUNCTIONING. I need to turn MY WILL over to God, to realize that HIS PURPOSE doesn't necessarily mean it's the same thing as MY purpose. God knows what He has in store for me, I need to stop planning and overfunctioning, and DROP THE BALL so that God can PICK IT UP.
What will I do today for Him?
Today I will stay in the Word! Today I will practice believing in God's grace towards me. Today, I will practice believing in God's purpose and will in my life. That means, letting go of planning. Open handed through each day! Not white-knuckling through the day!
_______
EPHESIANS 2
What is God like?
He makes us alive like we never were before.
He is rich in mercy.
He loves us as no one on this planet can possibly love us, truly 100% unconditionally.
He shows us his grace through his loving-kindness towards us, in his sacrifice.
He gifts us with these things, not because we are worthy or deserve them, but because He loves us that much, that He would give us His all.
He is peace.
He has broken down walls that keep us separate.
He has built us a home where we are always welcome.
He has built a home inside us, too, so that we are inhabited by His spirit.
What needs to change in me to be more like Him?
I am not nearly as merciful as I could be. Tonight on my way home from hanging out with BS crew I started rehashing conversations in my head--conversations that were completely fictional, conversations btwn my ex and myself, where I confronted him with his insanity and his clear illogic, his clear narcissism. I am not feeling merciful. I am feeling wrathful and full of judgment and holier than thou-ness.
I could honestly try to love MYSELF unconditionally. I usually tried to love everyone else but me unconditionally, but it never worked out right because I honestly was operating with a hidden agenda, one I was not even aware of. This agenda comes from not loving MYSELF unconditionally, of not accepting nor simply loving, who I am, where I am, AS I AM.
I will continue to tear down the walls that separate me from Him Most High.
What will I do today for Him?
Today, I will not stand in His way, in loving me, in accepting me, in giving me the gifts which He so much wants to give me. Today, I will accept in grace.
__________
EPHESIANS 3
What is God like?
He gives grace, as a gift.
He has revealed the mystery of the Son through His Spirit.
He shares the promise of Christ with us.
He works within us, using His holy power.
He created all things on heaven and on earth.
God is wisdom.
He is our Lord; through faith in Him He allows us to approach with confidence and true freedom.
He gives us confidence and freedom.
He strengthens our inner being, our soul, with His power, with the Holy Spirit.
He inhabits our hearts.
He has sown us as seeds with ultimate love, showering us with His love and blessing.
He fills us to the brim, full to bursting, with all that is Him Most High.
He can do everything and anything, far more than we can ever imagine or want.
He works His power within us.
What can I change to be more like Him?
Submit more fully to the Father's wisdom.
Walk with ever-increasing strength full of the knowledge of His love, and His blessing.
Be more willing to talk about my faith with others, regardless of their walks of life, or the constraint of situations .
What will I do for Him today?
Today I will praise Him for having the patience to wait for me!
Today I will praise Him for having the utmost love for me!
Today I will pray to Him, giving Him those three things that have been weighing on my heart the past few days.
Today, I will talk to someone about His remarkable presence and love, through which He rescued a scared young woman and gave incredible freedom and ever-gaining confidence!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Twenty Ten?
I have so many thoughts, words, revelations scattered all over the web and on paper here with me. I type so much faster than I write that I find it almost tedious to keep written works... well, written. I'd like to put it all down in one place, where I could reference it all at once. Keep it for posterity? That almost sounds egotistical, to me, somehow.
Is it possible to convey just how much I have learned in the past six months? I mean, really really reaaaaaaalllllllyyyyy learned? I'll post more on this later.
Is it possible to convey just how much I have learned in the past six months? I mean, really really reaaaaaaalllllllyyyyy learned? I'll post more on this later.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Who I am in Christ--I believe it, because He says so!
THE WORD OF GOD SAYS:
I AM:
God's child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God which liveth and abideth forever (1 Peter 1:23)
Forgiven of all my sins and washed in the blood (Ephesians 1:7; Hebres 9:14; Col 1:14; 1 John 2:12; 1 John 1:9)
A new creature (2 Cor 5:17)
The temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19)
Delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God's kingdom (Col 1:13)
Redeemed from the curse of the law (1 Pet 1:18, 19; Gal 3:13)
Blessed!!!!! (Deut. 28:1-14; Gal 3:9)
A Saint (Rom 1:7; 1 Cor 1:2; Phil 1:1)
The head and not the tail (Deut 20:13)
Above only and not beneath (Deut. 28:13)
Holy and without blame before Him in Love (1 Pet 1:16; Eph 1:4)
Elect (Col 3:12; Rom 8:33)
Established to the end (1 Cor 1:8)
Made nigh by the blood of Christ (Eph 2:13)
Victorious (Rev 21:7)
Set free!!!!!!!! (John 8:31-33)
Strong in the Lord (Eph 6:10)
Dead to sin (Rom 6:2; 11; 1 Peter 2:24)
More than a conqueror (Rom 8:37)
Joint heir with Christ (Rom 8:17)
Sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise (Eph 1:13)
In Christ by His doing (1 Col 1:30)
Accepted in His beloved (Eph 1:6)
Complete in Him (Col 2:10)
Free from condemnation!!!!!!!!! (Rom 8:1)
The apple of my Father's eye (Deut. 32:10; Psalm 17:8)
Being changed into His image (2 Cor 3:18; Phil 1:6)
Beloved of God!!!! (Col 3:12; Rom 1:7; 1 Thess 1:4)
I HAVE:
The mind of Christ (Phil 2:5; 1 Cor 2:16)
Obtained an inheritance (Eph 1:11)
Overcome the world (1 John 5:4)
Everlasting life and will not be condemned (John 5:24 NIV; John 6:47)
The peace of God which passes ALL understanding (Phil 4:7)
I LIVE:
By and in the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:2)
I WALK:
In Christ Jesus (Col 2:6)
I CAN:
Do all things in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:13)
I SHALL:
Do even greater works than Christ Jesus (John 14:12)
I POSSESS:
The Greater One in me because greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world!!!!!!!! (1 John 4:4)
I PRESS:
Toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God (Phil 3:14)
I:
Always triumph in Christ!!!! (2 Cor 2:14)
MY LIFE:
Shows forth His praise (1 Pet 2:9)
Is hid with Christ in God (Col 3:3)
I AM:
God's child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God which liveth and abideth forever (1 Peter 1:23)
Forgiven of all my sins and washed in the blood (Ephesians 1:7; Hebres 9:14; Col 1:14; 1 John 2:12; 1 John 1:9)
A new creature (2 Cor 5:17)
The temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19)
Delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God's kingdom (Col 1:13)
Redeemed from the curse of the law (1 Pet 1:18, 19; Gal 3:13)
Blessed!!!!! (Deut. 28:1-14; Gal 3:9)
A Saint (Rom 1:7; 1 Cor 1:2; Phil 1:1)
The head and not the tail (Deut 20:13)
Above only and not beneath (Deut. 28:13)
Holy and without blame before Him in Love (1 Pet 1:16; Eph 1:4)
Elect (Col 3:12; Rom 8:33)
Established to the end (1 Cor 1:8)
Made nigh by the blood of Christ (Eph 2:13)
Victorious (Rev 21:7)
Set free!!!!!!!! (John 8:31-33)
Strong in the Lord (Eph 6:10)
Dead to sin (Rom 6:2; 11; 1 Peter 2:24)
More than a conqueror (Rom 8:37)
Joint heir with Christ (Rom 8:17)
Sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise (Eph 1:13)
In Christ by His doing (1 Col 1:30)
Accepted in His beloved (Eph 1:6)
Complete in Him (Col 2:10)
Free from condemnation!!!!!!!!! (Rom 8:1)
The apple of my Father's eye (Deut. 32:10; Psalm 17:8)
Being changed into His image (2 Cor 3:18; Phil 1:6)
Beloved of God!!!! (Col 3:12; Rom 1:7; 1 Thess 1:4)
I HAVE:
The mind of Christ (Phil 2:5; 1 Cor 2:16)
Obtained an inheritance (Eph 1:11)
Overcome the world (1 John 5:4)
Everlasting life and will not be condemned (John 5:24 NIV; John 6:47)
The peace of God which passes ALL understanding (Phil 4:7)
I LIVE:
By and in the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:2)
I WALK:
In Christ Jesus (Col 2:6)
I CAN:
Do all things in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:13)
I SHALL:
Do even greater works than Christ Jesus (John 14:12)
I POSSESS:
The Greater One in me because greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world!!!!!!!! (1 John 4:4)
I PRESS:
Toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God (Phil 3:14)
I:
Always triumph in Christ!!!! (2 Cor 2:14)
MY LIFE:
Shows forth His praise (1 Pet 2:9)
Is hid with Christ in God (Col 3:3)
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Top Words on FB from my posts..... how cool!?
And the results are:
1): god - used 32 times
2): really - used 30 times
3): today - used 25 times
4): excited - used 22 times
5): seriously - used 21 times
6): love - used 20 times
7): new - used 19 times
8): life - used 17 times
9): good - used 15 times
10): law - used 14 times
1): god - used 32 times
2): really - used 30 times
3): today - used 25 times
4): excited - used 22 times
5): seriously - used 21 times
6): love - used 20 times
7): new - used 19 times
8): life - used 17 times
9): good - used 15 times
10): law - used 14 times
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Breaking the Cycle... A Daily, plus, my evening!!!!
God is truly good to me. God has been pushing me and working in me nonstop the past few months, and it's only going to get better! The past seven weeks in particular have been incredibly difficult as the layers of the onion that is my life slowly get peeled away. The more soft tissue underneath that gets exposed, the greater God's love for me shines.
Each week it's been a complete bombardment of God speaking and reaching out to me. If it's not what I'm learning in Living Waters, it's the sermons from the new church I've started seeking. If it's not one of those two, it's the Daily Devotionals that I get from New Life and Truth For Life. God is just seriously, seriously not letting me go, and not letting me down, either.
The encouragement I receive to truly press in to Him has been rewarded each and every step of the way. Tonight was just the icing on the cake. I can't imagine what's coming next.... but I'm excited!!!!! I really, really am!
For the first time in my life, I honestly feel FREE!!
_____________________________________________________________________
Breaking the Cycle
Bible Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:1-18
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies and that our lives had become unmanageable.
Human existence consists of a series of patterns. Our world goes around the sun in an unending orbit; it spins on its axis with tireless regularity. Dysfunctional family patterns seem to resurface generation after generation in a wearying march of repetitious pain. We may grow tired and wonder if there's really any escape from the merry-go-round of addictive behavior and suffering.
King Solomon examined life and was discouraged by some of his observations. "Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers. . . . Everything is wearisome beyond description. . . ._No matter how much we hear, we are not content" (Ecclesiastes 1:4-8).
Life can seem like one meaningless, wearying cycle after another. Solomon observed that our lives can be spent without ever going anywhere. He also wrote these instructions: "Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the paths of the righteous" (Proverbs 2:20). Throughout the Bible we see that life can be linear, leading somewhere. Even though we are powerless to stop all the destructive cycles around us, we can take our own steps in the direction of recovery and a new way of life.
Our efforts just add to the destructive cycles in life; only God can break them.
Each week it's been a complete bombardment of God speaking and reaching out to me. If it's not what I'm learning in Living Waters, it's the sermons from the new church I've started seeking. If it's not one of those two, it's the Daily Devotionals that I get from New Life and Truth For Life. God is just seriously, seriously not letting me go, and not letting me down, either.
The encouragement I receive to truly press in to Him has been rewarded each and every step of the way. Tonight was just the icing on the cake. I can't imagine what's coming next.... but I'm excited!!!!! I really, really am!
For the first time in my life, I honestly feel FREE!!
_____________________________________________________________________
Breaking the Cycle
Bible Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:1-18
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies and that our lives had become unmanageable.
Human existence consists of a series of patterns. Our world goes around the sun in an unending orbit; it spins on its axis with tireless regularity. Dysfunctional family patterns seem to resurface generation after generation in a wearying march of repetitious pain. We may grow tired and wonder if there's really any escape from the merry-go-round of addictive behavior and suffering.
King Solomon examined life and was discouraged by some of his observations. "Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers. . . . Everything is wearisome beyond description. . . ._No matter how much we hear, we are not content" (Ecclesiastes 1:4-8).
Life can seem like one meaningless, wearying cycle after another. Solomon observed that our lives can be spent without ever going anywhere. He also wrote these instructions: "Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the paths of the righteous" (Proverbs 2:20). Throughout the Bible we see that life can be linear, leading somewhere. Even though we are powerless to stop all the destructive cycles around us, we can take our own steps in the direction of recovery and a new way of life.
Our efforts just add to the destructive cycles in life; only God can break them.
Friday, November 20, 2009
FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love". I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION 1:
Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION 2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION 3:
Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test? Here are some suggestions:
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So ask about your Significant Other... What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION 4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be niceto, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION 5 :
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
Another perspective....
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance....It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention.... Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye". Before you get involved andmake a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace it.
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!
If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love". I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION 1:
Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION 2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.
Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION 3:
Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test? Here are some suggestions:
Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So ask about your Significant Other... What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION 4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be niceto, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION 5 :
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
Another perspective....
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance....It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention.... Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye". Before you get involved andmake a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace it.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
No matter what our circumstances, God meets us there with his grace.
Step 1 / Day 15
Serenity despite Powerlessness
Bible Reading: Luke 1:26-56
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies and that our lives had become unmanageable.
There are times in life when we are powerless over the circumstances around us. We're not in the driver's seat. We have to do things someone else's way. And often, the whole experience is uncomfortable and frightening. During these times we can find hope and serenity in the promises of God.
Mary was in her early teens when destiny took her by the hand. She was greeted by an angel who announced that she had been chosen by God to be the mother of the Messiah. She found herself pregnant, much to the confusion of her fiancé, family, friends, and neighbors. After the angel returned to visit her fiancé, he believed Mary's story and married her. When the time came to give birth, she and Joseph were required to travel the long, difficult journey to Bethlehem. There, in a smelly stable carved out of the side of a rocky hill, she delivered the baby. No one but her husband was there to attend Jesus' birth (Luke 1:26-2:20).
What power did she have over her circumstances? She was powerless under the will of God, the decree of the state, the limitations of their financial poverty, and the demands of her body. And yet, by holding on to the promises God had given her, she found serenity in her powerlessness and gave birth to the Savior. When we are powerless, we can find serenity by holding on to the promises of God. When we do this, we will find new life and salvation being born again into our lives.
No matter what our circumstances, God meets us there with his grace.
-New Life Ministries-
Serenity despite Powerlessness
Bible Reading: Luke 1:26-56
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies and that our lives had become unmanageable.
There are times in life when we are powerless over the circumstances around us. We're not in the driver's seat. We have to do things someone else's way. And often, the whole experience is uncomfortable and frightening. During these times we can find hope and serenity in the promises of God.
Mary was in her early teens when destiny took her by the hand. She was greeted by an angel who announced that she had been chosen by God to be the mother of the Messiah. She found herself pregnant, much to the confusion of her fiancé, family, friends, and neighbors. After the angel returned to visit her fiancé, he believed Mary's story and married her. When the time came to give birth, she and Joseph were required to travel the long, difficult journey to Bethlehem. There, in a smelly stable carved out of the side of a rocky hill, she delivered the baby. No one but her husband was there to attend Jesus' birth (Luke 1:26-2:20).
What power did she have over her circumstances? She was powerless under the will of God, the decree of the state, the limitations of their financial poverty, and the demands of her body. And yet, by holding on to the promises God had given her, she found serenity in her powerlessness and gave birth to the Savior. When we are powerless, we can find serenity by holding on to the promises of God. When we do this, we will find new life and salvation being born again into our lives.
No matter what our circumstances, God meets us there with his grace.
-New Life Ministries-
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