Saturday, August 21, 2010

August 21, 2010... really?

I mean, really? I've realized quite recently that I stopped posting in May. I have so much of a huge gap to fill here, I have to, have to do this!

Sitting at work right now, [clearly not working, but hey I'm off the clock!] listening to Etta James sing "If I Had You". I am struck by the realization that all love songs could really be turned to reflect one's overwhelming feelings of love for our Savior and Lord. Sounds super corny, but seriously? It's SO true.

Some time ago, I removed my "Grace" ring from my wedding finger. It was an intentional move on my part, the thought that first impressions would indicate that I was married, and thus perhaps one who was interested, wouldn't ask. God has brought so much up to the forefront of my heart these past few months, and honestly I've never felt so much peace in my entire life. Then other people show up from my past and I am truly rocked by past behaviors, past lifestyles and interests, and suddenly I'm in the midst of a huge angsty-fit and feeling distracted constantly by what surrounds me. Talk about chaos. I missed my calm! My peace!! Where did it go!?!?! Wracked by my confusion and doubt... not sure what was going on, why I was feeling such things, given my incredible peace of before.

But last night, wham. He brought everything to a head and asked point blank: "Fleshly union, marriage? Or Me?" and... "How much do you trust Me? Really?"

So. Long story short, the Grace ring is back on my ring finger. If God brings someone into my life, he will ask further. It's that simple. And guess what?


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